Blessed With A Woman
by AnnBlackwater
Summary: A fanfiction written in Sebastian's POV detailing how he met  female, mage  Hawke and his growing affection for her over time. Timeline is somewhat changed and events are not always following the game. Please R&R.
1. First Times For Everything

This is my first fic to be posted. So please read, enjoy and most of all, review!

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: First Times for Everything<strong>

The first time I saw Hawke was part-way through a heated argument with Elthina. I remember her and her party standing within my periphery, a little way off, her eyes watching me with an interest that I found unavoidable.

Overwhelmed by my need for revenge, my mind was warped by suspicion and paranoia, concluding abruptly and with little doubt that she was hunting me down, cooperating with those Flint _assassins_, if not one of them herself. The thought caused more irrational fury to course through my veins and my voice was raised, for her benefit or for any others wishing to kill me, to ensure they knew of my hate and detestation.

"It is my duty, my right, to show these assassins there is nowhere in the Free Marches to hide!"

With purpose, I stalked away as Elthina stated coldly, "This is murder."

The Grand Cleric ripped off the poster, waving it in the air. With my bow, I nocked an arrow and shot it only a hand's breadth from her head. The notice was once again firmly embedded into the Chantry Board. I heard Hawke's shocked gasp in my ear at some point, perhaps taken aback by what she thought was my willingness to use a weapon against Her Grace.

"No! What happened to my _family_ was murder."

I strode in the direction of Hawke, intent on ensuring I knew her face and would recognize her easily. What I found startled me. Her brown eyes were filled with judgement, eyeing me with a cool, speculative interest as a noble would towards a particularly revolting breed of criminal. It was hard to turn away from and I half-faltered in step, too caught up by the disdain in her eyes. I felt an icy stone fall into my stomach but I continued on, too inundated with vengeance to think clearly about what I was doing.

Over a few days, I had time to slowly accept the death of my family but I was unable to quell my need to see these mercenaries die in the name of justice. Then disdainful brown eyes would flash in my mind and my insides would turn over, knowing I was unworthy of being a brother within the Chantry. The Chantry did not condone revenge and I was supposed to be above it. Sadly, that was not the case. I had never felt such guilt. Even within the first days of initiation, the actions of my youth had caused me much remorse but it was not anything remotely close to this. I could almost feel shattered glass lining my insides, cruelly cutting me into pieces. The physical pain my guilt caused was almost intolerable. I remember my fist coming down hard upon the wooden table whilst copying manuscripts, ink pots bounced and shattered whilst parchment floated towards the floor. I should have known better!

When I had time, I often walked through the Chantry courtyard, part of me hoping to catch the face of the woman whose eyes haunted me so and the other part of me wanting to explain that I had never intended, or would ever intend, to harm Her Grace in any way. Something about her made me want to explain myself, to justify my actions if only to ease my conscience. In any case, I was out of luck.

In the end, I remembered nothing about her face, only her piercingly intense eyes and a brief flash of her arresting carriage. She carried herself as a Queen did, with a quiet stillness that emanated peace, strength and an unconditional receipt of respect.


	2. Second Impressions

**Chapter 2 – Second Impressions**

Warm sunlight streamed through as the Chantry doors opened, a bright and welcome contrast to the cooler, hallowed halls. I had been learning against the wall, idle in the wake of my reluctance to focus upon a productive task. Sounds of quiet chatter and soft laughter reached my ears and from my periphery, a party of four stood close. Perhaps it was the similar situation from before, seeing Hawke and her friends within my periphery that had me looking her way.

I recognized some of her companions; Isabela and Varric, regulars of the local tavern, one known for her whoring around and the other known for his wild tales. The other companion, another female had her arm linked with Hawke and as I later found out, she was Bethany, the younger sister.

"All I'm saying is that it's not every day a man finds himself with three beautiful women fighting to save the day."

Hawke replied in a cheeky fashion, "That sounds like the beginnings of another heroic tale where the man ends up with three women. Scandalous." Her face was turned towards her friends, her words eliciting laughter that spoke of affection and warmth. I could not help but smile too.

Though I could not see her face, I recognized her gait immediately. It was the same air of confidence, an air of tranquillity that any noble in Starkhaven court would have given an arm to attain. I was certain that this was the lady who had given me such a disdainful glare but this time, her eyes were so dramatically different; filled with a soft tenderness that warmed my soul.

The first thing I noticed aside from her deeply expressive, soulful eyes was how lovely her features were, even by court tastes. A mass of dark brown, wavy hair framed her face, stopping near her shoulders. A particularly unruly curl swept towards her mouth and my fingers itched to brush it aside for her. She was very fair, her skin unblemished and silken. She also had a seductresses' mouth, her lips curved to an innocent yet inviting pout. Her nose was so straight that it begged a finger to sweep down the bridge. It would be a wonder to caress her, even if it were just the face. I tried to stop my thoughts.

I was sure that poets could describe her face much better than I with their comparisons of creamy milk and sweet peaches. Even so, they could never articulate her beauty. Milk was too bland. A peach could be eaten and thrown away, to be forgotten. Hawke did not have the face that one could ever forget. It would haunt me for years to come.

Beautiful was not a word I could use. It did not capture the warmth that shone through in that moment. Lovely captured her tenderness but underestimated her beauty and strength. Gorgeous made her seem to superficial, too sweet. There were no words to describe just how attractive, eye-catching and arresting she was.

I must have been staring too intently at her face for she seemed a little defensive, stating awkwardly, "So, will anyone smite me if I tell you I killed the men who wronged your family?"

She seemed to constantly keep me off balance. That was not what I had expected her to say. Perhaps part of me still expected her to sneer at me, her voice scornful whilst chastising me for almost harming Elthina. Instead, her voice was unsure but striking, smooth, sensual and silken as her words flowed over me, awkward as she seemed at the time. I was so mired by her voice that I paused, needing time to process what she was actually saying.

She had killed? No, 'gorgeous' would not do at all. She was not so saccharine sweet. I tried to focus upon the topic, trying to dispel such vow-breaking thoughts and catch up to the conversation.

Even so, I wondered if my voice could ever be so attractive to her. It came out in a stutter, "Excuse me, who are- The notice on the Chanters' Board? Did Her Grace let that stay?"

I rambled on, "I thought for sure no one read…but you say you've killed them?"

Though we were speaking of my deceased parents, I found my mind preoccupied upon how her eyes turned sorrowful as she lifted a familiar locket from around her neck, underneath her robes.

"I recovered this from the bodies. I'm not sure if it belongs to you but if it does, forgive me for wearing it. I did not want it damaged in my rucksack."

I recognized it immediately as my mother's locket. The bastards had stolen her jewellery from her cold body! My voice came out thick, I could hear the extra layer of brogue that that normally did not seep through, "It belonged to my mother."

"Ah." She said as she passed the locket to me, still warm from her skin. The metal burned me in a way I did not expect; I was touching her skin without doing so at all. I thumbed the locket, not wanting to lose that heat and looped it over my head. Though the chain was decidedly female, I was certain I would wear the locket forever.

Silence ensued for a few more moments, awkward but not yet uncomfortable. Hawke stared at me with bottomless eyes, deep with sympathy and sorrow. Eventually, I thanked her, "You have my eternal gratitude, serah. It is comforting to think my parents might now rest easily in their graves."

Her posture relaxed and she tilted her head, curiosity blooming on her face, "Who are you, exactly?"

"I am Sebastian Vael, Prince of Starkhaven. Her Grace might prefer I introduce myself as a brother in the Chantry but I could not stay after what happened to my family."

Her lips mouthed the word 'Prince' but she made no further comments, seeming more focused about the enemies at hand, "Why didn't your family's enemies hunt you down, as well?"

I felt shameful. Had I not at one point felt that she was also an assassin?

I stated swiftly, "That's why I took the offensive. Thanks to you, those Flint Company assassins are no longer a danger. I'm the last of my line. Unless I survive, my family will have no justice."

"Who sent these mercenaries?"

I winced. I wanted to escape these questions. I did not wish to remember my vile presumptions I made about her. "My family has ruled Starkhaven for six generations. We have enemies, but none who would identify themselves openly. A distant cousin of mine is claiming rulership at the moment but he is…a bit simple. He can be no more than a pawn in this plot."

"Surely you have a guess as to who was behind it?" She was relentless! It took every little ounce of discipline not to fidget under her well-meaning but inquisitive gaze!

"My parents were always…prudent…in how they handled our nobles. They did not allow rivalries or resentments to flourish. The attack must have come from outside. Kirkwall is our largest trading partner. I came back here to find support for my claim and perhaps for a clue as to who was behind this foul deed."

We paused a little while, her silence respectful. I looked at her companions and blushed as Isabela winked, her intentions of bedding me clear upon her face.

Eventually, Hawke murmured, "Your parents probably don't care much at this point, but I hope you sleep a little easier." It was stated like a fact but her voice carried that ounce of tenderness that I had not expected.

I chucked, "Yes. I hope I will. Thank you."

It was then I noticed that she was a mage, her staff hanging upon her back, clear as day for anyone to see. A mage! Here! In the Chantry! Where Templars roamed free and would try to capture apostate mages! It was obvious she was an apostate. She was not wearing Circle robes. How she had not been captured was beyond my comprehension. My mind turned back towards more vile thoughts of the lady.

An apostate who refused to bend to the laws of Kirkwall; she could very well be a blood mage. I cleared my throat quickly and stated in a fairly aloof tone, "Consider this an advance. When I have secured my lands again, you will be paid royally. Now if you'll excuse me, I must meet with the viscount and petition him for aid to a fellow city." She had done too much for me to betray her but neither could I swallow the disappointed feeling I felt over her being a mage.

In the end, I could never shake off that irreconcilable feeling I had for her. She was a mage but incredibly kind. They didn't belong in the same sentence! She was too beautiful, too lovely and her eyes too sincere and soulful for her to be a vile creature. I could not perceive her negatively. Every time I thought of her, my hands itched to sweep that unruly curl from her mouth or to touch and kiss her hands. I was surprised at myself.

And though I spent so much time thinking about her, it wasn't until very much later on that I realized I never even knew her name.

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><p>What do you think? Please read and review!<p> 


	3. Three Years Later

**Chapter 3: Three Years Later**

I had spent three years campaigning and petitioning to no real end. Three long years passed like a blink of an eye as I travelled throughout all of the Free Marches, pleading for help from the people who had once claimed boldly to be my family's allies. I received none. Walking into Starkhaven with no army was not an option for me. I could not reclaim my lands this way. I spent as much time as I could with Elthina as the amount of rebel mages seemed to grow in higher daily increments. I was not certain she was safe. I often sought her advice on how best to reclaim my lands but it was futile effort. I had once sworn to be loyal to the Chantry and I had forsaken that. Her advices were no more than persuasions to rejoin the Makers' side. Even my Grandfather, who had been spared from the murders, seemed reluctant to step forward as a former Prince of Starkhaven to aid the citizens of my land. He told me, "Do what you think is right, Sebastian, but the Starkhaven's throne is no real place for an old man such as I."

One piece of good news did reach my ears through my efforts. After countless days of thinking and searching, the mastermind behind my family's assignation had been revealed to me. Lord and Lady Harimann. I remembered them. They were once allies to my family, the nobility of Kirkwall. I could not fathom it. I could not understand it.

I understood the lack of support for my claiming the throne. Starkhaven seemed to be in good hands. However, I knew this was less due to my cousin's ruling than to Starkhaven having no major problems in general.

What I could not understand was outright murder. What was Lady Harimann thinking when she was driven to such action?

I wished to confront her but I could not go alone. I needed help. It was lucky that within these three years, the woman that had run through my mind almost daily had now become quite well known in all circles of Kirkwall.

The nobility spoke of her as both a newcomer and old member of high class society. The Amell's were once incredibly well known for their status and power and Hawke was a descendent of that line. However, she was not always of wealthy background and most of the nobles spoke ill of her. She was _just_ a Ferelden refugee that had simply gotten lucky in her Deep Roads exploration and managed to buy her status with coin.

The rest of society had a much better opinion of her, claiming her to be courageous in the face of death, kind towards citizens, tender when around children and incredibly helpful. I had heard much from the stories in the Hanged Man. There were very few topics about her that were not thoroughly discussed. I had always wondered how accurate these stories were.

I sought for her help. I tried to convince myself that I asked for her help due to her capabilities in a fight. She had, after all, killed a lot of people and come out unscathed. However, I knew half of me was more interested in knowing her, wanting to know more about her than whatever the stories said. What if this mage _was_ different? What if she wasn't the vile woman part of me had painted her to be?

Hawke caught me in the middle of a conversation with Elthina. I had been explaining to Elthina my thoughts on the matter of Lady Harimann.

"I thought it would end here. That young lady, Hawke? She decimated Flint Company! No survivors. Yet, now that I know who sent them, it is hard to see their deaths as justice." I was wistful and morose, longing for any comfort Her Grace could offer.

"Death is never justice." That was all she offered. I wanted to believe it was enough. It wasn't.

Hawke stepped up to where Elthina and I were situated and I had to stop myself from smiling at her. It would have been too friendly, too improper.

"Hawke! We were just talking about you."

Her smile was good-natured and I almost forgot she was a mage. She looked the same, as though she held the secrets of ageless beauty. Considering how much she had achieved in three years, it was unbelievable that she had retained that look of fresh, youthful innocence, as though the experience with the wrong side of human nature would not mar her with cynicism. The only change was her hair – it now reached halfway down her back, its gentle waves cascading past her shoulders. The unruly curl of hers now tickled her collarbone and once again, my fingers itched to brush it aside.

She joked, "Carry on. I love to eavesdrop."

I chuckled; it was hard not to feel some amount of warmth towards the girl. "I'd much prefer speaking to you directly if you don't mind."

Hawke waved her hand with some enthusiasm, as though to explain that she had only been joking. I got right to the point, "I've learned who hired Flint Company."

She blanched, unprepared for the sudden change in topic. Recovering quickly, she nodded, her eyes turning hard, almost glinting from her focus upon me. I twitched my shoulders uncomfortably at her sudden change and continued, "The Harimann's, a noble family in Kirkwall. My parent's allies. Hard to believe they would betray us like this."

"Tell me about this family."

"Lord Harimann used to be a good man. He became rather strange in his dotage. He died some years back."

Her eyes narrowed imperceptibly and she stated briefly, "I think I've met this Lord Harimann."

Elthina shook her head, "I don't want to know."

It was fairly obvious that Elthina had offended Hawke for she stiffened but replied genially, "You're probably right. Lord Harimann has more dirty secrets than you and I know."

I was impressed by her restraint. She obviously disliked being judged by those who knew little about her but had maintained the respect that a Grand Cleric deserved. I nodded and continued, "His daughter took over the family, Lady Johan Harimann. They say she's been quite reclusive of late."

Varric murmured quietly, "Not a good thing."

"Any idea why they turned on you?" Her voice had become very clinical over the course of the conversation and I had to wonder why it bothered me so much. Maybe I just wanted her to smile and laugh with me, sharing a conversation that was warm and tender. The kind of conversation that I had rarely shared with anyone but Elthina or my Grandfather.

"Money. Power. It's hard to say. Lady Harimann was always jealous of my family being royalty whilst her family were mere nobility but I can't imagine that pushing her to outright murder."

Varric's voice turned cynical, "Ha! I wouldn't wager money on that, Choir Boy. Money and power is exactly the kind of thing that pushes people into outright murder."

Hawke turned her head toward Varric, nodding very subtly. I wasn't entirely sure what it represented at the time but I had found out later that Bartrand, his brother, had locked them in the Deep Roads.

She tilted her head, considering a thought before asking, "Is there a peaceful way to resolve this?"

Peaceful? Surely, she was joking! But her tone was solemn and sincere and it was hard to believe that the woman who had annihilated the entire of Flint Company was suggesting peace. Had she softened over the years? Or was she simply acting a role, playing a game she understood well?

Elthina seemed to echo the same thoughts, "If you treat the Harimann's in the way you treat those mercenaries, you could start a war. Go carefully, Sebastian."

I nodded at her, very readily taking on board what she said. I replied, "I must speak with Lady Harimann and find out what drove her to this madness but I am the last of my line, I cannot go alone and make myself the target."

Hawke's features softened and she nodded in an accomodating gesture, "If I am standing beside you that will make her think twice."

I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't realized I had been holding in. I was beginning to find that my assumptions of her were far below what she truly was. I had not given her credit and perhaps the strangers at the tavern, who had never even met her, knew her better than I.

"Again, your interest in my plight humbles me." Then I hurriedly offered, "If you like, I could travel with you until you confront Lady Harimann. Otherwise, you can always find me here in the Chantry."

A flash of something went through her eyes, something emotive; wariness, fear, suspicion and just as I felt my stomach drop, I saw a flash of happiness and hope. Whatever she was thinking, there was something about me that she felt conflicted about. Perhaps a little cruelly, I felt that this was good. After all the endless nights I had stayed awake thinking of her, she deserved a little torment too.

She hesitated for a moment, struggling for the right words. Why was she distressed? In my thoughts, I hoped that maybe she had stayed awake at night thinking about me as well.

Eventually, she settled for, "This is evidently important to you. Let's go now. We have no more errands to run for today. When we're done, you can decide if you still want to stay."

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><p>Yes, Sebastian is starting to feel a little nervous around Hawke. Please R&amp;R!<p>

Much love,

Ann


	4. Four To A Party

**Chapter 4: Only Four to a Party**

As we stepped out into the cooler autumn sun, Hawke turned on me without notice, "You haven't met everyone, have you? I've been so rude!"

She gestured to her companions, "Meet Varric, Fenris and Isabela."

The three gave their personal greetings. Fenris nodded, his troubled, green eyes watching me with deep suspicion. Varric gave a slightly more pleasant handshake. Only Isabela seemed actually agreeable to me, though possibly because she wanted me as a notch upon her bedpost. It seemed that I would need to work harder in order to fit with this group.

I asked her, "These are the people you travel with? I remember another lady with you last time."

Hawke nodded, albeit a little warily, concerned perhaps that I had paid so much attention even three years back. She seemed a little shocked. "The lady you mention is Bethany, my sister. She was taken by the Templars after I returned from the Deep Roads. She's now in the Gallows. There are others. _Perhaps…_ you will meet them."

For whatever reason, the relationship between Hawke and I was tense. There was a challenging glint in her eye that brought out the less impatient man within. Though her tone brooked no argument, I answered her challenge, "I look forward to that."

It was wrong to allow that rake within me to take up so much of the man I was now. Around Hawke, I felt like I had to prove something but what, I wasn't all too sure.

As we walked past the Chantry courtyard into Hightown residencies, Varric struck up conversation, "So, what's your story? A Prince in the Chantry. Was there a life-changing event? Did the Maker speak to you? Did the voice of Andraste come to you in a dream?"

So the rumours were true. Varric was one for wild, tall tales. I shook my head and chuckled, "There is no real story. I was the third son and my parents put me in the Chantry."

That wasn't entirely true but there were reasons I wasn't entirely comfortable with sharing them as yet. We stopped in front of the Harimann estate, the door found partially open.

Fenris stated sharply, "Expect the worst."

Isabela gave a half-chuckle, "We're with Hawke. When don't we expect the worst?"

I watched Hawke's reaction carefully. Her ears twitched briefly. She turned to Varric, "Don't you have Diamondback scheduled? I think Bianca needs a rest."

I echoed, "Bianca?"

Varric drew out his crossbow, as though introducing it to me as a real life person, "Bianca, meet Sebastian." As he returned it to his back, his eyebrow shot up, questioning Hawke, "I can skip that. As Broody over there said, this doesn't seem right."

Hawke smiled to Varric, a smile that seemed to brighten the whole world. It was meant to comfort and give assurances but all she managed to do was astound everyone within the general area. It was… a cocky grin but an incredibly friendly one. It was evident that over the years, Hawke had developed very close relationships with each of her companions.

"Oh, we'll be fine! Just make sure you keep Anders on stand by in case we have any injuries. Not to mention, who'll inform the entire tavern of that daring brush with death we had this morning involving _masses_ of Mabari lords, _countless_ mercenaries and an _invisible _dragon or two?"

Isabela laughed, Varric chuckled and even Fenris managed a small, if tight, smile. Varric replied, "Don't forget those beautiful desire demons that fell at your feet."

Hawke pretended to swoon and placed the back of her hand at her forehead. I very nearly reached out to catch her from her dramatic display. She spoke with a breathy tone, "Oh! Those desire demons! Even they were not immune to my dazzling grace and charm!"

Raucous laughter filled the air and Isabela patted Hawke on the head, "Oh Pet, I do believe your head is beginning to swell just a little."

Hawke shook her head, her arm going around Isabela's shoulder in a relaxing and welcoming gesture. She insisted, "Go Varric. We'll be fine. Just get Anders."

He turned to leave, shouting over his shoulder, "I'll get everyone at the Hanged Man tonight. Give Choir-Boy the chance to meet the team."

I turned a questioning eyebrow to the group, now just the four of us, "Choir-Boy?"

Fenris filled in, "That is the dwarf's way of telling you that you are accepted."

I nodded thoughtfully, "So I suppose that I will be thoroughly observed and critically evaluated?"

Isabela leered, "That's the plan."

I must have had an uncertain expression on my face for Fenris told me, "Our group is… unorthodox. We were missing a do-gooder anyway, aside from Hawke."

Isabela seemed to want to go on but Hawke shook her head and gestured towards the open door, "Come on. Let's worry about whether Sebastian fits in later."

It was the very first time she said my name. There was a hint of Ferelden accent, though slight and unnoticeable in everyday conversation, that caused my name to sound sensually rolled from her lips. I fought an intimate shudder but could not prevent the thought of her _moaning_ my name from blooming. My body tingled but as she gestured towards the door, I banished the traitorous thought from my mind.

It could torture me later.

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><p>Tension is in the air. Sebastian is both challenged and angsty by Hawke. Please R&amp;R!<p> 


	5. Four Harimanns' and One Demon

**Chapter 5: Four Harimanns' and One Desire Demon**

The house was empty, or so it seemed. There was a taint in the air. Hawke seemed to pick it up, too. She said, "I sense magic. Be on the lookout."

At her words, everyone drew their weapons. I stated, "It's strange. The door is wide open and not a single guard posted. This is not the Lady Harimann I remember."

Her only reply was a sharp nod. We kept close to Hawke, who had began a faster pace, jogging through corridors until –

"More! You lazy son of a bitch! What's taking so long?"

I recognized the girl. I called out, "Flora?"

She continued to speak, as though she could not see us. Fenris paced the area downstairs, watching carefully for an ambush.

"Why does no one in this house care what I want? More wine! Or I swear, I will drown you in the dregs!"

Flora waved her arms around, helpless to her addiction to alcohol. She continued to speak to the barrel, as though it were a servant.

I exclaimed, "She doesn't even see us! This is no normal wine."

We left to explore another area of the house. There was something wrong about the whole situation. It was not a wrongness that could be described in normal life. There was something _evil_ at work.

I soon recognized another voice. "More logs! It must be molten!"

One of the sons of Lord Harimann, Brett. There was a cauldron in the middle of the room, with two elven servants; a male holding a knife at the female's throat.

"You! More coins. I want every scrap of gold in this house."

The elven girl cried out, weak with fear, "Please, messere."

"There's nothing to fear. You'll be beautiful." It was as though Brett could not understand the repercussions of what he was attempting to achieve. He was filled with a self-entitlement that was purely preposterous.

He ordered, "Pour it over her!"

I countered that order, "Don't! You'll kill her." There were no responses. I sighed out, "He can't hear me."

The male servant turned his head and seeing us, he walked towards us in an odd stupor as though intending to dispatch four intruders who were much better equipped than he. In anger, I threw a punch that knocked him out. Cold.

The female servant ran away as young Master Harimann considered, "Perhaps I should be the one."

I shook my head and Hawke turned her head slightly towards me, watching me from her peripheral vision. I told her, "We must end this madness."

Her voice was comforting and soft, "We will." It instilled an instant calm that I had not felt in a while.

As we explored the house some more, I told Hawke, "I visited this house often as a child. They could not have concealed such goings-on."

Hawke did not reply but I did notice her ears twitch. She was highly disturbed. That much, I could tell.

We entered a bedroom that had its doors flung wide open. Inside was Ruxton Harimann, doing an act I never thought he'd be capable of.

"Oh…lower…lower…" He was…_copulating_ with his elven servant!

"I beg your pardon, Hawke. I did not mean to expose you to such things." Hawke shook her head, waving my apology away. She looked on with cool indifference, as though he were doing nothing more than sleeping like a wee bairn.

"No apologies necessary", Isabela replied cheekily.

Fenris seemed disgusted and stated plainly, "I will wait outside."

"No! The feather! Use the feather!" Ruxton held out his arms as though he had just received a gift from the Maker, himself. "Where have you been all my life?"

He turned to the elven servant girl, "Today, I am more than a man! Come! Felicitate me!"

Isabela seemed to be the only one who derived any perverse pleasure from the situation, "That's a great line! I should use that line. Ooh, I could get it embroidered on my blouse!"

I was shocked. I knew Ruxton. He wasn't like this. What, in this world, had happened?

"He has no idea we're even here. I've known Ruxton Harimann my whole life. He's a complete prude!"

Isabela grinned at me, "That's my kind of prude."

Ruxton leered at the servant girl, "Where's your brother? Let's ask him to join us."

At that, Hawke turned and with a thoroughly revolted tone, mentioned "I am out of here."

Isabela nudged Hawke in the ribs, "Aw. At least he's having fun."

Scoffing in return, Hawke's expression did not change, "I have nothing against him having fun but I most certainly draw a line at incest."

As we turned away to venture downstairs, Isabela teased, "I suppose you can't imagine cupping Bethany's joining."

I felt a blush rise up my cheeks. Such a vulgar woman! I suppose that was the Chantry Brother within me speaking. Had I met Isabela in my younger days, it was probable that we would have slept together already.

Hawke didn't reply for we reached downstairs where suddenly, all the Harimann children had gathered, awaiting us.

Flora said sharply, "Turn back. There is nothing here for you."

"Odd. When we watched you being a drunken ass, you ignored us completely", Hawke's voice held a brusque note, a bite that I hadn't envisioned as possible with her beauty but apparently, Hawke was a woman of many things and I had barely begun in scratching the surface of her personality.

"You shall not enter!" Flora demanded before she and her brothers promptly dropped to the floor without warning. Each fell to their knees, closed their eyes and slept.

Instantly, shades and a desire demon ambushed us. Fenris cursed foully. Hawke was right. Magic was involved.

Fire dropped from the ceiling, burning away the flesh of our enemies. Isabela was everywhere, slashing at the backs of shades whilst Fenris hacked into the desire demon. I began flinging arrows at every possible direction, my speed and talents with a bow finally being displayed. Widge, Hawke's large Mabari attacked ferociously, snapping and mauling. Ice flittered from Hawke's staff and for a few moments, every enemy froze in their stead. With that, each fell quickly and without further trouble.

As Hawke collected equipment and other objects from the fallen, my mind instantly turned back to what we just fought. I thought to myself, what greater evil were they hiding?

Hawke nodded towards me, "You are very skilled with a bow."

I smiled secretively and asked her, gleeful for her approval, "Perhaps we should discuss strategies later?"

Fenris barged forward, almost protective in his tone, "Hawke's ice spell was very effective with your skills. Perhaps we should use this to our advantage." Perhaps it was his warning that strategies did not need to be discussed?

As we entered an underground passageway which apparently led to ruins, Hawke commented, "Cone of cold, Fenris. Not ice spell."

The corners of Fenris' eyes crinkled in smug amusement. I said quietly, "A ruin? So close to Hightown. I remember no such thing."

The air was stagnant, filled with a putrid green smoke that stung my eyes and nose. Great arches led down the stairwell, skulls of dead humans embedded as part of the decoration. We found many enemies. Rage demons, shades, countless undead.

We eventually found a comfortable strategy. Fenris led as the first line of defence whilst Isabela would attack from behind attackers. When the enemy was aware of Isabela, they would often turn to attack her, leaving Fenris free to lay a heavy blow that would daze, if not annihilate, our enemies. Hawke stood in the middle of the fight, her magic slowing down, freezing and painfully killing the demons. She was incredibly powerful and for one as strong as she was, I was surprised that she was a Spirit Healer. Hawke kept a careful eye on each of us, healing and rejuvenating as needed. Apparently, an apostate did not a blood mage make.

We found Lady Harimann knelt before a desire demon, pleading for power.

"You must give me more. Starkhaven will not submit. I put that idiot Goran Vael into the Prince's seat but the other families won't heed him. I must marry him to Flora and solidify our hold. I need more power!" Her voice was edgy, her tone screaming of lunacy and beyond. She was past redemption, I thought.

The desire demon spoke, her voice titillating and tempting. I stiffened against it, "I've given you much. Your desires run deep." She trailed a hand across her breasts in an inviting offer. I grimaced at the sight.

"You've already traded your husband and your children. What more can you offer?" The desire demon's toyed with Lady Harimann, pushing her further and further into insanity.

Hawke cut through, "At the Blooming Rose, fifty silver's standard for a whore." She turned towards Isabela, "I can't believe I said that. You're such a bad influence."

"I do my best" was all Isabela offered in return.

"You'll hardly find my services 'standard'", said the desire demon, her arms waving out as though in welcome.

Lady Harimann stood, her voice turning fearful. "Who is this? Who are you? How did you get here?" She babbled senselessly until her eyes saw me.

"Sebastian…?" Her face froze from shock, eyebrows lifting further than I thought humanly possible.

I shook my head at her, I was disappointed by this. "You were my mother's friend! How could you murder her?"

"Such an ugly word. I prefer 'removed the only obstacle between her and her dreams'." The desire demon seemed slightly annoyed that she was not the centre of the conversation.

I pointed at her accusingly, "This was your idea!"

The demon laughed mockingly, her horns shaking this way and that. "I could create such desires if I wished but it's far easier to nurture those that already exist. The desire for power is easy to find. You and your friend both possess it, do you not? You both wish to rise."

Hawke was cool in her response, "Not if it meant selling out my family."

"How loyal were your friends to you? Everyone has a price. Everyone wants something." The desire demon was trying to tempt Hawke. For a moment, I was afraid that Hawke would be tempted by this creature. Were mages not more susceptible to the enticements from the creatures of the Fade?

I told her, "Do not listen to her!"

"Oh, such a pious soul masking so much ambition… Are you so different from my lady? You yearn for the same lands, the same power."

I was righteous in my response, my tone marred by vengeance and anger. "I am the rightful heir. She is a usurper and a murderer."

The demon countered, "You swore to put aside worldly goods and ambitions but they couldn't stop you from wanting them."

She was right. This was what I had once wanted. I had been envious of my brother's rightful place as King. Wasn't that part of the reason why I was placed in the Chantry? My parents did not want me competing for the throne. Here was the truth laid bare before me. Was I even doing the right thing for the people or simply for my ego?

Hawke turned to me, trying to instil faith back to my soul. "You'll be a good ruler. It doesn't matter what you do to get there."

I tried to explain, "I'm not acting from ambition. I only want what's best for my people!" My answers were of no use. My resolve weakened.

Mockingly, the demon answered, "For the people who'll adore you? All those smiles they used to give to your brother? Now you'll be the shining Prince. All you have to do is kill anyone in your way."

I felt Hawke's stare pierce through my thoughts and I tried to strengthen against the demon's words. "Silence, temptress. Your whispers have led our allies astray. You're the only one I must kill."

And with that, another battle began.

I could not concentrate in the fight. I barely remember any of it. At the end of it, Hawke did not comment. She seemed to understand my lack of focus. So many things were not as I presumed.

Hawke was a mage yet she did not fall to the desire demon's words as I had. I thought I had been acting for my people but was I really? I had doubt within my heart and I cursed that demon for putting it there.

Lady Harimann lay dead at my feet with a pool of blood to her right as any indication that the desire demon had ever existed. I sighed with defeat, "Let us return to the Chantry. I must pray for Lady Harimann's soul." And for my own, I added in my mind.

We met Flora in the cellars of the Harimann estate.

"Sebastian! I am so, so… Sorry is such an inadequate word. When I think of what our mother made us do, what those creatures made us do."

I lashed out, "We were friends, Flora!"

"It was like a cloud had come down on me. All I could feel or think was what the demon allowed."

Hawke asked, "Did your mother order the attack on Sebastian's family?"

"Father did but it was Mother's idea." The rest of her words fell on deaf ears. I knew all this. I did not want Flora's apology. I did not really want to forgive either. I needed to be out of here.

It was not until I heard, "We were not the only ones vying for Starkhaven. If you face more opposition, you have my full support."

I nodded, "It will not make up for what happened."

Flora agreed, "No, that's true."

I told her, "I'll tell you when I need you."

We somehow found ourselves back at the Chantry courtyard when Hawke brought me out of my whirlwind of thoughts. Her voice carried through to me, resonating calm within me that I could not achieve on my own.

She ordered, "Isabela. Fenris. Sebastian and I will meet you and others at the Hanged Man later."

They left without a word. Hawke was respected, a natural leader. She was someone that would rule a country well. Could I?

**Hawke's POV**

I left Sebastian to his prayers for a while. He needed some time for himself and I had many thoughts of my own to work out. I was confused about Sebastian. I did not know how best to approach him. He was not like any of my group.

With Varric and Isabela, conversations were light-hearted with an odd combination of being meaningless and meaningful at the same time.

With Merrill, conversations were a little strange. She was naïve to the real world and whilst accommodating that in conversations was difficult at best, I had come down to an easy rhythm such that she could share darker secrets with me without prejudice.

Aveline was fairly simple. She and I got along because we shared similar morals and views. Aveline and I had become fast friends very easily.

Anders and I got along because we were both mages and like-minded in the belief of freedom for mages. He was interesting enough and we often worked side by side at his clinic in Darktown.

Fenris took time but he had learned that just because I was a mage did not necessarily make me untrustworthy. We shared secrets. His past life, my past life and we had ultimately become very best of friends. It was with Fenris that I had no secrets, no lies. He did not judge me for my opinions because he respected me enough to know that I did not make decisions lightly. The fact that I had begun teaching him to read only added to our platonic affection and he often called me "Valentha" in private, an endearment in Arcanum meaning "little bird". He looked upon me as one would towards a younger sister.

With Sebastian, I was uncertain. I remembered him from three years ago. Even then, his easy charm and smile had made my breath hitch. I had to constantly remind myself that he was a brother of the Chantry. Despite this, when I knew he was in the city, I often ventured to the Chantry just to watch him work. There was a peace about him that I could not find anywhere else. Without a place for reprieve, I found myself capable of relaxing whilst watching him work tirelessly.

His thick auburn hair…I wanted to run my hands through it. His eyes, so bright but so sapphire blue… I could stare into them forever. I could imagine myself leaning in close for Sebastian's hungry kisses and lustful caresses. The kind of kisses and caresses that a pious man could never give.

I was so distracted by my thoughts that I did not see the Grand Cleric sit beside me until she spoke, "Young Sebastian is distressed."

I stood quickly, nearly losing my balance from fright. After a few moments, I inclined my head respectfully, "Grand Cleric Elthina. I did not see you."

She smiled kindly, "Apparently, you are also distressed. Speak to me, Hawke. I wish to know you better."

I was not sure what to say. So I diverted the topic and asked, "I thought you did not approve of me."

She shook her head, "I am worried about your influence upon Sebastian and until I am sure, I reserve judgement but it does not mean I am ignorant to the amount of good you do this city. Now tell me your problems."

I sat beside her and shook my head, "It is complicated. There is a lot on my mind."

It was true. I was worried about Bethany. How was she doing in the Gallows? She had often warned me against visiting and I missed her terribly. Though I had now given my mother her old, childhood home, I wondered if it was enough. She lost father, Carver and even Bethany to a degree. She couldn't be happy.

I also wondered what I was doing with my life. Everyday I went on adventures, righting wrongs but for what reason, I did not know. Furthermore, the conflict between mage and Templars were culminating to a disaster and I was an apostate. How long could I stay "hidden"?

And now, with Sebastian – he made my life more complicated. How does one act towards an attractive man who one could never be with?

Elthina sat quietly for a while before commenting, "I remember a time when you would frequent the Chantry halls, finding peace in watching Sebastian work from behind the shadows."

I chuckled, "You are too observant, Your Grace but in any case, that was too long ago. Almost a lifetime ago. Things are different now."

"You have changed, child? Your faith in the Maker has swayed?"

I contemplated what she was asking. Had I changed? No, not really. I could still find peace in watching Sebastian work but circumstances had changed that. Sebastian was no longer a detached person to me. We had shared an intricate dealing. I could no longer watch Sebastian work and feel a sense of pleasure without feeling guilty. As to my faith in the Maker, I wasn't sure I ever really had it.

"I don't know that I've changed. I think the situation has changed and I am not sure what the outcomes are. My mother. My sister."

Her elderly wisdom seeped through her words, "Do not be so distressed. You have done as best as you can for your loved ones."

I sighed softly, "And what about my life? Is this what I want? Is there any purpose to what I do everyday? I am wealthy. I don't need to work."

"Perhaps there is a purpose in everything that you cannot see just yet. The Maker reveals all in time." I found that to be a fairly standard answer for someone in the Chantry but I did not wish to be rude. There was no need to defeat one's attempt to comfort.

I shrugged, "As to my faith in the Maker, I believe that there is someone who is watching over us, guiding us and who judges us when we die. I also believe in doing good things. I don't enjoy harming people. If I have killed, I have not done so lightly but I am not a proper Andrastean."

Elthina smiled graciously, "There is no such thing as a proper Andrastean." I turned to her, shocked by her words.

Her smile widened a little, "There is no one way of serving the Maker. We all do the Maker's will in different ways. I have tried to guide the citizens of Kirkwall and Starkhaven by teaching the will of the Maker but what each citizen does will be different. You do the Maker's will by righting the wrongs that you find. Some believe in charity. Others simply bask in the glory of the Maker's creation. There is nothing wrong with that."

I watched as Sebastian walked to the balcony, leaning upon his forearms, deep in thought. I rose from my seat and bowed to Elthina, "Thank you for your words. I will reflect on the things you say."

She nodded, "That is all I ask."

As I strode towards Sebastian, I realized that I had yet to work out a good tactic with him if he chose to join me in my travels. I resolved to keep him at arms length until I knew what to do. Being too friendly or too cold would only end in trouble. I wasn't sure whether it'd work or not but as it turned out, I never stood a chance against Sebastian Vael.

**Sebastian POV**

I had been watching Hawke speak with Elthina. Hawke seemed to have troubles of her own but what, I did not know. That seemed to be a common theme for me: ignorance. Ignorant of my feelings, ignorant of my morals, ignorant about whether I was doing the right thing in breaking my oath to the Chantry and most of all, ignorant about Hawke.

I felt her presence behind me but I simply stared out at the various sisters of the Chantry going about their duties. Even behind me, I could see her posture was too stiff and her eyes were hard. Yes, she was troubled.

My voice came out anguished, "I had hoped prayer would cleanse me of the desire demon's touch but I still hear her voice so clearly. I feel like I've bathed in filth that will never come off."

I expected Hawke to make a joke, she seemed to view life humorously but her tone was serious and assuring, "You acted honourably. Why are you ashamed?"

It was the time for truth. Hawke needed to know what I was. "The demon didn't lie. I used to be bitterly jealous of my brother. I wanted to be Prince. Now, everything he had is mine and he lies in ashes."

I pushed myself away from the banister to face her. I persisted in my argument, "I keep asking myself, do I want this because it's right or to have what I never thought I could?"

She frowned, confused by what I said, "Aren't you your parents' heir?"

"I'm the youngest son of three. My parents were rather traditional. They wanted the heir and the spare and I was left in the cold. They put me in the Chantry to prevent me from competing with my brothers."

"You seem… very dedicated to the Chantry. You were put there against your will?"

"At first but it was the best thing that could have happened. I was a wild boy, a shame to my family. The Chantry made me a man." I bowed my head in guilt, ashamed of my past.

She nodded for me to continue and I explained my dilemma. "It's odd. When I wanted to rule, I would have been terrible at it. Now that I might be decent, I don't know if it's the right thing."

Hawke explained eloquently, "It's the wisdom not to want power that makes us use it wisely."

I shook my head, "You didn't feel what that demon stirred in me. It cannot be right to lead any army to Starkhaven with such doubt in my heart. I owe you more than I can say, Hawke. I will offer my service to you before I move on."

Hawke turned her head away and for a moment, I thought she would refuse. She murmured, "Do this because you want to not because you feel obligated. There are no debts in our group."

I was elated that she had accepted me but disappointed that her words were so aloof. Did she not trust me?

Inwardly, I shrugged and complimented, "You have a good soul, Hawke. It was truly the Maker who led you to me."

Her countenance relaxed and her eyes softened a little but there was still tension within her. I wanted to ask her about it but the rake within me told me not to pursue for she would surely flee.

It was probably a wise decision for she next handed me a familiar bow, "I think this belongs to you."

Elation hit me and I was a young child again, "My grandfather's bow! But… where did you get it?"

She shrugged, "One of the Flint Company mercenaries had it."

I stroked the mahogany fondly, "Thank you. It's… hard to mourn the loss of a _thing_ while most of my family lies dead but I did think of it."

Curiosity seemed to get the better of her for she asked, "Is there a story behind that bow?" She seemed excited for the story, like a wide-eyed child waiting to hear for something wondrous.

I smiled warmly, she was incredibly difficult not to like. Though I had doubts about her mage status, it seemed to wash away easily enough. I could not prevent my resolute assumptions of her crumble away. She was a good person. That was enough.

"As the youngest son, it was my place to lead Starkhaven's militia but I never had a talent for swordplay. Too much getting hit. My grandfather said that the bow is the wise man's weapon. You can defend you city without opening its gates. He said that the day I could pull the string on his bow, it would be mine."

Hawke rubbed the back of her neck, "So why didn't you have it with you?"

"I was young when he made me that promise. I would rise at dawn to practice my shots until I could hit the eye slit of a helmet from the top of the ramparts."

Her breath hitched, in awe of my talents. Innocence, not naivety, shone through. Perhaps this was why she seemed to get along with Varric so well. She listened with intense curiosity.

I hated to disappoint her and her expression turned sad as I said, "But my parents pledged me to the Chantry before I could show him."

"Were you and your grandfather close?" There was a yearning in her voice, a longing for what I assumed to be family. I made a mental note that perhaps she yearned for more loved ones.

"He was a man of the world – Prince of Starkhaven- but he had the most unshakable faith in the Maker. When my parents threatened to pledge me to the Chantry, he told me he'd gladly trade his title for a life of contemplation." My tone turned fond as I thought of his face, the way his voice resonated within his chest, "The Maker ordained a place for each of us, he said, we have only to serve."

She had a wistful expression on her face, warm and fond with faraway eyes. Then she stiffened and recovered quickly, "Perhaps you could honour him by using his bow to reclaim your lands."

I nodded but I was confused by her sudden transformation, "Yes. This will be a fitting weapon to carry against the usurpers. If I choose to reclaim those lands." I thumbed the bow gently, remembering a time when I had thumbed a locket, the locket I still wore three years on, that was warm from her skin. I longed to touch her. I could not stop that thought from spilling out into my mind.

I settled for a husky gratitude, "Thank you for thinking of me, Hawke."

Hawke's breath came out uneven but she nodded resolutely and motioned to the Chantry doors, "Come, we have spoken enough. You should meet everyone at the Hanged Man."

As we walked together, we were silent and it was just as well because my confusion of her had become outstandingly large. Every time I had a glimpse of the inner workings of her mind, she cruelly snatched it away. What was she hiding that could be so terrible? Or perhaps, was it possible that she was afraid of showing her true feelings towards a stranger?

Somehow, she had slowly worked her way into my bloodstream. When I think back, I knew that at first, it was no more than a subtle thing. A slow, stream of knowledge that she was somehow unique but in only a few meetings, each moment brought an odd sizzle that grew with unnoticeable increments until it was suddenly overwhelming, catching me by surprise.

I believe that it was in that moment that I realized I wanted her and for once, both Chantry brother and notorious rake were in perfect agreement. Perhaps the rake realized that sleeping with unknown faces would never be enough now that I was a man and so, both sides of me wanted to know her. I wanted more than her body. I wanted her soul. I wanted her mind. I decided that I would not rest until every secret was spilled from her _to me_.

* * *

><p>I'm hoping that Sebastian turns out as an incredibly intense character. Let me know what you think!<p> 


	6. Six People To Meet

**Chapter 6: Six People To Meet**

The Hanged Man was bustling with drunken men and women of all ages. Tankards were thumped in almost every corner of the downstairs area, pints being ordered, noisy slurping, general chatter and laughter. Hawke led me upstairs to Varric's room, where unsurprisingly, everyone had already gathered.

Everyone seemed to fall silent when Hawke stepped through. She gestured to me, "Everyone, meet Sebastian. He will be joining us in…our everyday activities." She turned back to me, "I'll let you socialize with everyone and get to know them on your own."

As I took a seat upon the long table, Varric clapped a hand upon my shoulder and yelled, "Have a drink!"

I stuttered for a moment, I was no longer a brother in the Chantry but out of habit, it seemed wrong to drink. Hawke saved me from answering, "Let's make that a hot cider and some honeyed mead."

"Again? Why don't you ever drink anything else?" Varric snorted as he went off in search of a tavern girl.

Hawke replied, half to herself and half to me, "Because anything else tastes like absolute swill."

I chuckled as Isabela sauntered over, dropping a hand upon my shoulder, "Oh it's not that bad. Sure, some of it will make you wake up next to someone you don't know and don't want to know but it could really be worse."

A woman dressed in guard captain's armor stalked up and threw Isabela's hand off my shoulder, "Keep your hands to yourself, whore."

Hawke introduced, "Sebastian, meet Aveline. She's guard captain and currently in a relationship with Guardsman Donnic. Aveline, meet Sebastian. He's a brother in the Chantry and also Prince of Starkhaven."

The first thing Aveline asked was, "So you're a Prince, are you?"

"That is apparently true"

"There's doubt?" She was a woman of few words, satisfied in being blunt and getting answers directly.

"I've accepted the burden. That's all that matters. Why do you ask, Guard Captain?"

"The entitled types are always trouble." Ah, she did not approve of my title.

"In that case, I'm glad I count myself as one."

"They never do." I respected Aveline. It was her way of telling me that she reserved her judgement and would be watching closely but would still be capable of civility.

As a glass of hot cider was placed in front of me, the remaining two companions came over in greeting. Both of them were apostates and judging by the cuts upon the elven girl's arm, she had to be a Blood Mage. What was Hawke doing, associating with such people?

Anders and Merrill offered me nods or enthusiastic waves respectively. Merrill complimented me, "You have very shiny armour on you!"

I smiled weakly. What could I say in return? 'Those cuts on your arm are very fetching' did not seem right. Anders eyed me shrewdly and I stared back, the both of us sizing each other up. Eventually, I turned away. I was a Chantry brother. To partake in such foolishness was nonsensical.

A breeze drifted through the open window and then Anders gripped Hawke's foreman tightly. He stated, "I smell blood." His eyes had narrowed down in suspicion and Hawke shrugged, "No one was hurt. Maybe someone has a fresh stain on their clothing?"

Fenris inserted, "She has a burn on her leg from a rage demon."

The room concentrated upon Hawke. She said with some amounts of irritation, "It's very small! I can fix it later."

Anders said nothing but his face was a hard stone and he pointed towards a chair. Hawke tutted under her breath and threw at Fenris, "Thank you _so much_."

He inclined his head sincerely, "You're very welcome", but there was something about that statement that echoed with amusement, like this was a very common occurrence. Seeing my interest, Merrill supplied, "Hawke likes to pretend she has no injuries."

This seemed to be an event that occurred often for everyone sniggered under their breaths as Hawke protested loudly, "I'm a mage, too. I know how to heal my own wounds."

Anders, unlike the others, did not seem amused. He pushed into a chair and she huffed impertinently. He told her sternly, "You aren't able to heal your wounds such that they're scar-free. Justice can do that. Now, are you going to let me see that leg or do I have to remove that robe myself?"

Justice? What was this justice he spoke of? How could justice heal a wound? No one else seemed to pick up upon Anders' language and I made a note to ask Hawke of it later.

Varric wolf-whistled, "That's a very good line." Isabela nodded in agreement, "You should put that into 'Hard in Hightown'."

Hawke found it hard to suppress and smile and gave up, asking Anders sweetly, "Can't we do this later?" Her face was open, honest and good-natured but her tone rankled me. Why was she so _sweet_ with this apostate?

Anders pushed a chair opposite to her and shook his head but his face warmed at her tone of voice. He gestured for her leg and after a light sigh, she complied, pulling her left leg from the folds of her robes and placed her foot upon his thigh.

My gut tightened, albeit for two reasons. Her leg… creamy white expanse, slim but very well proportioned and incredibly long; then my eyes fell upon Anders, his hand upon her thigh and jealousy pulled at me.

A bright orange burn marred her perfect skin, it was crusty along the edges, a vicious reminder of the rage demon that gave her that mark. Merrill seemed fascinated, "Wow. A burn!" I didn't pay attention. I was too busy being jealous. What I wouldn't do to be Anders for a moment, running my hand upon the insides of her leg.

I stared angrily into my cider as Isabela spoke loudly, "Oh! We need this in the story. Hawke, could you throw her head back a second. I need a good visual in my mind."

My hands clenched into fists and Hawke complied, throwing her back towards Isabela. Anders was lucky that Hawke's expression was one of total exasperation rather than joy. If it were the latter, I wasn't sure what I'd end up doing.

After a while of more socializing, we eventually sat down and talked about upcoming errands. Hawke began, "Alright, we've got a fairly busy schedule ahead of us so I want to say in advance that I appreciate any extra time you've taken to assist in our quests."

There were murmurs that waived her gratitude away, as though she were being pesky.

Hawke continued, "Varric would like to find Bartrand, his brother and we want to go to Bartrand's estate sometime within the immediate future. I'm hoping that we can do that tomorrow night. Aveline, Fenris, would you be free?"

Each nodded their assents. Satisfied, Hawke continued, "Merrill, I know you wish to see Keeper Marethari in Sundermount but unfortunately, that will have to wait for a few days maximum as Bartrand may leave at any time. If possible, I would like Isabela and Sebastian to accompany. Please take a look at your individual schedules so that we may sort out a particular day."

"I will be seeing the Arishok tomorrow as he has requested to speak with me. Fenris, seeing as this is your area of expertise, I would like you to accompany me. Anyone else who is free, please join me."

Anders offered, "I am free tomorrow." I could not suppress the irrational jealousy that burned my lungs and I blurted out, "As am I."

I hadn't actually checked if I had tasks to do tomorrow but I could not allow Hawke to be with Anders without me. It was irrational. Something about Anders did not bode well and I was not sure that I felt Hawke unwise to trust him as much as she did.

"Lastly, there is something in Darktown that I need to take care of and I will need a lot of firepower."

Everyone leaned forward and after looking around briefly to ensure no waitresses were nearby, Hawke whispered, "I've found a number of Evil Tomes around the city and I wish to destroy the last one however, I don't think this one will be easily destroyed."

Merrill sat back, annoyance streaming through her words, "I do not see why you insist on destroying this books. I do not see how they are evil. It is only power."

Anders threw his hands up into the air, "Says the blood mage. Every time we destroy a tome, you want to know what crops up? That's right. Demons. Not just any spirit. Demons. Oh, that's right, you're friendly with these creatures."

Fenris snarled at Anders, "Like you can talk, you abomination. Both you and the witch are just as bad."

There was uproar for a few moments until Hawke intervened. "Stop it. All of you." She turned to Merrill, "I understand your wishes but these tomes have done a lot of damage and harmed too many people. I cannot allow that to continue. I'm sorry."

Her tone then turned frosty and I would have sworn the entire room became chilly, "As to the both of you", she gestured towards Fenris and Anders, "you will both stop this incessant arguing."

Silence reigned for a while allowing everyone to calm down. I asked myself, what is Anders? Was he an abomination? I needed to speak to Hawke about this.

Hawke then commented, "As for this weekend, my mother has invited all of you to dinner. She has also managed to allow Bethany to visit and I'm sure she'd like to see all of you again and of course, meet Sebastian but for tonight, let's leave it here."

General socializing seemed to start up and after a short time, many left. Varric was insistent upon walking Merrill home and Isabela left with them as well. At one point, Donnic arrived and left with Aveline towards the barracks. That left Hawke with three men – Anders, Fenris and myself.

With a half-stifled yawn, Hawke motioned casually, "Let's go. We've got a very long day tomorrow. We're all heading up to Hightown anyway."

Anders laughed, "Are you so tired that you've forgotten that I live in Darktown?"

With an impatient shove, Hawke pushed him out the door protesting, "You're not _walking_to Darktown. Don't be absurd."

The four of us trekked through Lowtown and a quiet Hightown. She turned towards the three of us, "I'll see everyone tomorrow morning."

I wanted to talk to her. There were things I needed to know. I asked, "Could I speak with you for a moment?"

Hawke frowned momentarily but she nodded anyway. She waved a goodbye to Fenris and told Anders, "Tell Bodahn to lock the cellar doors behind you. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

That left the two of us alone. I saw her swallow nervously. We both began, "Are you – " "I wanted to-"

There was a moment of awkward laughter before she led me towards the back of Hawke estate, opening a gate into the garden. She motioned for me to sit down and she stated, "You don't like the fact that I'm a mage or the fact that our group has another two more."

She was calm and a little aloof and again, I felt like any warmth I received from her was once more snatched away. I replied, "I have concerns about Merrill and Anders, yes. Merrill seems very naïve but she is a Blood Mage."

Hawke did not lie. "Merrill doesn't understand the difference between a spirit of the Fade and a demon. She thinks that they are one and the same. At such, she falls prey to demons easily. She could become an abomination but we're trying to watch out for her. That's all I can say about Merrill."

I frowned, it was as though Hawke did not understand the dangers an abomination posed to all human life. "You speak as if all of this has no consequences. She could pose a danger to many people."

She turned on me, seemingly angry but still remaining a tight calm, "You're right but what would you have me do? Throw her to the mercy of those Templars? If you are under the impression that there are no corrupt Templars then you have no idea how wrong you are. I am not trying to insist that she is not dangerous. Quite the opposite, in fact but I cannot do more than to simply observe."

"And this errand you speak of? To go to Sundermount? Is all of this related?"

Hawke sighed, defeated by my words, "Yes, it is. That's why we're going."

I shook my head in disagreement. "All you're doing is encouraging her! This is insane!"

She rounded on me, her anger glinting in her eyes under the moonlight, "I am doing no such thing! You think I do not understand the dangers of blood magic? I have _killed_ more than my fair share of demons and abominations to realize exactly how dangerous all of this is! However, if you think that mere words can cause Merrill to turn away from a quest that she has lived and breathed for almost all her life then you, Messere, have no idea about life or human nature."

Her voice carried through the night air, her hair swung around her face as she spoke with frustration. With a groan, she turned away. A mask of false calm seeped through her words, "I am sorry to have yelled at you but I have questioned her on this. Her attempting to repair a mirror with a demon can lead no where good but refusing to help will only cause her to attempt this on her own. She'll end up doing even more damage without us than with. I hope you realize that."

Something about her tone aggravated me so. I preferred it when she was real, when she shouted. When she turned around, she was not really Hawke at all. She was hiding what she really was from me. She didn't seem to have any trouble yelling at her group before without apologizing. Why was she apologizing to me?

I tried for a semblance of calm, "And Anders? He is not a blood mage, judging by how disgusted he seemed by Merrill's attitude regarding the tomes but Fenris called him an abomination."

Hawke sat on the edge of a small fountain, dipping her fingers within the water, "He is no abomination. A spirit of the Fade, a spirit of Justice was caught in our world. If it did not have a willing host, it would die. The spirit of Justice would die. Anders offered himself as a willing host but there were complications."

I strode towards her, her tone was so sad, so tired. What had happened to her the last three years? She seemed innocent and fresh this morning. Was she only sometimes like that? Though it was obvious that she and her friends were incredibly close, something about the life she was leading was wearing upon her. I sat beside her and looked into her eyes. They were so weary but at least, they were no longer cool. I asked, "Complications?"

She nodded, "Anders was captured by Templars when he was young and forced into the Circle. He was never abused there but knew of many who were. Rapes, violent beatings, he'd seen and heard of many. He became very proactive in campaigning for the freedom of mages. His anger twisted Justice into a spirit of Vengeance and it is hard for Anders to control himself but he is no abomination."

We stared at each other for a little while and for a second, I think I very nearly stroked her face but she rose too quickly. She apologized again, though this time it was heartfelt. "I am sorry for yelling. Things have been difficult lately and Merrill's wish to do this personal quest has caused much tension."

I did not want the night to end yet. There was so much left to speak of. I asked her, "And what of you?"

Her back stiffened as she stared up at the half crescent moon, "What about me?"

"You seem very…" Tired, weary, unhappy, I thought to myself, what word couldn't apply? I eventually settled upon, "troubled."

Her laugh was dry, "You needn't trouble yourself. I have no scary mage back-story."

The Chantry brother within me told me to be polite and leave for the Chantry. It was unwise to push her for information when I had not even settled on whether I was to be brother or Prince. But hadn't I decided to know Hawke anyway? The rake within me pushed me on, taking too personally her aloof attitude and her flagrant display with Anders. I knew I was being unreasonable. She had not asked to be healed but a part of me still felt bitterly jealous.

I told her, "I do not simply want a background story. Though you are unwilling, I want to know you and I will know you." And maybe even do more than know… I chastised myself for such thoughts. This was unseemly.

She threw an overused excuse, "We've just met. There will be time enough for that."

I took her words by face value and whispered, "Just remember what you've promised." I gently took her hand in mine and bowed, brushing my lips against her knuckles. Her lips parted and her eyes became half-closed.

As I whispered a good night, she turned and left for the back door of her house. As she opened it, she paused for a moment and turned towards me. It was a sure sign of her affection towards me, no matter how small. The inner rake danced within.

A soft yellow glow streamed through the gap, washing her with tones of family and warmth coupled with her Mabari's happy bark at seeing her. I could read conflict in her eyes and she seemed to struggle over what to say. Then she deflated and gave in, "I'm really glad you're still here. I wasn't sure that you would be."

She left after that. The notorious rake within me sincerely jumped for joy. She wanted me to stay. That's why she was so hesitant, so aloof all day. She thought I was interested only in her aid! Foolish girl. I was interested in _knowing_ her, each and every single part of her. Knowing that yes, she felt conflicted about me but yes, there was a part of her that couldn't resist me either made my battle easier. Much easier.

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><p>Though Hawke doesn't say anything, I'm sure she's breathless from joy too~!<p>

Much love,

Ann


	7. Seven Hours of Running Around

**Chapter 7: Seven Hours of Running Around**

Dawn broke over the horizon and soon, I was at the Hawke estate, introducing myself to Lady Leandra Hawke and being thoroughly licked by Widge. Hawke's Mabari hound was particularly large, his paws the same size as my own hands.

"Oh yes! My daughter spoke of you last night. Prince of Starkhaven. How very impressive!" She tittered.

I blushed and replied, "Thank you, Lady Hawke. I must admit that I should have introduced myself as a brother of the Chantry."

Leandra waved my explanation aside, "What you choose to do with your life is your decision but there are some titles you cannot place aside no matter where you go and who you are. You are initiated as a brother but you were _born_ a Prince, it is important you remember your heritage."

Starkhaven did need me, no? Perhaps Leandra had a point. I shuffled it away for later contemplation. Hawke called out as we walked down the stairs, "Good morning, Sebastian. Mother."

We looked at each other for a while, each remembering our conversation from last night. I held her eyes to mine for a short while before a small smile graced her lips and a blush rose to her cheeks. Ah, she remembered my kiss. Good, I thought.

When Fenris and Anders joined us, Hawke kissed her mother on the cheek and left for the Qunari compound.

It seemed the Qunari were a very blunt but respectful people in a strange way. It was not shocking that the Qunari were so often vilified, they simply did not assimilate well into society. Though Hawke had not responded in any way but politely and she never acted shocked or surprised at the Arishok's words, I do not believe that there is ever any real circumstance where "It'll be interesting to see if you die" can be applied appropriately.

Apparently, the recipe of a poisonous gas, saar-qamek had been stolen with the thief believing that it was an explosive powder called gaatlok. Anders seemed to think that the Coterie was the best way to working out where Javaris was and we headed into Darktown.

Along the way, Fenris explained that the gas was highly dangerous, capable of turning humans against one another. It seemed imperative that we find the thief and the recipe.

The Coterie member told us that Javaris had headed into the tunnels of Smugglers' Cut to avoid those to whom he owed money. Hawke's only response was a sarcastic, "Wonderful. Let's go chase him down elsewhere", to which everyone chuckled.

Smugglers' Cut was trouble. Though the thugs within were no match to the force and strategy of us combined, they had the advantage in numbers. Swarms of them seemed to come from every direction and doorway and at one point, Hawke had been so overwhelmed that she had to send a powerful mind blast just to escape to another part of the room to heal whilst Fenris made short work of them.

When we reached the end of Smugglers' Cut, Hawke opened a chest and found a ship within a bottle and she cooed, "Wouldn't Isabela love this?" She giggled happily at her find whilst the three of us, being males, shrugged indifferently. We all exchanged glances and for a moment, we all stifled the urge to laugh. There was no other word to describe her expression – adorable.

We found Javaris, after killing all of his bodyguards that attacked us upon sight. He cowered at the sight of Hawke, explaining pitifully that an elf had framed him for stealing the powder. Hawke let him go and she shook her head at the sight of him running away, hands upon his behind.

Anders teased, "Admit it, you were tempted to kill him."

Hawke grinned, "Just a little. It was tempting to strike him down for giving us so much trouble but now that he's running away like that, I've had my comic relief for the day."

Fenris asked, "So what happens now?"

Her expression soured, "We find this crazy elf and hope that this gas hasn't been distributed and then hope that I still make it back to help Varric by nightfall."

We were too late. By the time we got to a side-alley in Lowtown, it was already covered in a mist of green smoke with the sun setting fast behind us. Hawke told Anders, "Get Varric and Aveline waiting at Bartrand's estate. Fenris and I will be there as soon as possible."

Fenris had been right about the gas. It was detrimental to mental well-being. There were many times within the battle when I had been tempted to strike Hawke in the back. Though I was able to shake off that feeling, each time became progressively harder. Even when all the gaskets were closed, I did not get a reprieve. The area was still covered by the green mist but it was fast fading.

An elven fanatic attacked us and before long, she too lay dead at our feet and the recipe was in our hands. I muttered a quick prayer for the fallen amongst us whilst Fenris and Hawke watched. When I was done, Hawke motioned for us to return to the Arishok.

"So, I was wrong about our thief." Hawke seemed worn out by the day's events and the Arishok's indifferent attitude was grating upon her nerves. Despite that, she maintained a respectful countenance.

"So it seems."

"They say we were careless with the trap. That this is our fault but even without that saar-qamek, there would have been death. This elf was determined to lay blame at our feet. I admire conviction with a focus but your kind is truly committed to weakness."

Hawke commented, "She had supporters. This is not yet over."

The truth came out. "None of this matters. I am here to satisfy a demand of the Qun that you cannot understand. No ship is coming. There is no rescue from duty to the Qun. I am stuck here."

Hawke's hands came behind her back to hide the fact that her fists were clenched. She was more than frustrated, she seemed just about ready to pommel the Arishok. She inclined her head, "May I inquire as to your reason why?"

"Filth stole from us. Years ago. A single act of greed has bound me. We are all denied Par Vollen until I alone recover what was stolen under my command. _That_ is why this elf and her supporters do not matter. _That_ is why I do not simply walk from this pustule of a city!"

The Arishok seemed on the verge of a violent outburst for he seemed more and more furious, "Fixing your mess is not a demand of the Qun and you SHOULD ALL BE GRATEFUL!"

Though I understood that the Arishok had not asked for his possessions to be stolen, it seemed that neither had he cared enough about the city to ensure that no one would steal anything. Laying a trap like that was indifferent to human life and I found it hard to respect that.

"Thank you for your service, human. Leave." Hawke seemed more than happy to do just that.

As we wandered from the docks towards Hightown, I commented, "The Arishok is very on edge. The Viscount should know of this."

Hawke waved her hand imperiously, her frustration and irritation lining her face. "Tomorrow. Tonight, Varric needs me. I will see you soon, Sebastian." It was an instant dismissal.

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><p>Yay! That's another chapter. I'm pretty happy. What did you think? Please R&amp;R!<p>

Love, Ann


	8. Eight Weeks Without Her

**Chapter 8: Eight Weeks Without Her**

Many weeks passed and I had not really seen Hawke at all. I spent some nights at the Hanged Man hoping that she would join us for our group activities but she never showed up.

Varric mentioned that despite his temptation to kill his brother, Hawke had persuaded him against it. Bartrand was now in a sanitarium, confused and suffering from lunacy after holding onto a lyrium artefact that he'd found in the Deep Roads.

Isabela showed off her new trophy of a ship – the gift that Hawke had found her in Smugglers' Cut. Though Fenris made a few derogatory comments about it, it was evident that Isabela was very grateful for the gift.

Merrill seemed highly distraught and upset with Hawke for she was unwilling to hand over the arulin'holm, an artefact that would help restore some mirror that Merrill felt would be useful to the restoration of her culture to her people. Merrill's motives were noble but I could not say the same about her methods.

Many shared stories of her. Her noble acts, her charming grace and wit, there were so many stories that almost every night, I spent time with these new friends, revelling in the enjoyment of a different kind of family. Elthina was a mother to me but this family, dysfunction though it was, stuck together through the solid efforts that Hawke put in. I was but enjoying the outcome. And though I had poor opinions about certain people such as Anders or Merrill, I nevertheless enjoyed spending time with each and every one of them.

However, more and more, I simply missed Hawke. I caught her often but she never seemed to have much time. I caught her once outside the Viscount's office and she briefly mentioned about more Qunari problems. I learned later that night through Varric that things between Kirkwall and the Qunari were not going well. With the Viscount's insistence of Hawke carrying out tasks for him, it seemed that many events would be centred on her. What happened next was highly dependant upon her and I wondered whether she could withstand such pressure.

I caught her once in the midst of teaching Fenris how to read. She was incredibly patient, teaching him the slow nuances of how dips and tones of language worked. I had stayed out in the shadows, listening to the ebb and flow of her voice until it became drowsy and she fell asleep upon Fenris' shoulder. Though Fenris knew of my presence all along, watching her from the door jamb, he never mentioned anything.

There was also the dinner her mother had planned but I did not spend much time talking with her. It was evident that she missed her sister's company and spent a lot of time holed up in her room, laughing and giggling. She needed companionship from people who would understand her and it was blatantly obvious to me that though all of her friends were part of her family, she was still a leader. There was only so much she could tell each of them about her true feelings.

My feelings for her grew despite not seeing her. Many times a day, I would think of her and smile. She was such a giving soul but even still, there was something about her that lay just out of my grasp. I knew her through other people. I needed to know her for myself.

One sunrise, I caught the backs of her and Fenris walking towards Hawke estate. From her fatigued and drained outlook, she had spent the entire night fighting for yet another cause, righting yet another wrong. Did Hawke's giving never have a limit?

I grew distracted. I could not focus on anything, not even upon my dilemma of reclaiming Starkhaven or not. I tried not to factor Hawke into my decisions but she constantly cropped up into my mind. Images of kissing her pouting lips, to feel her skin upon mine… In frustration, I all but ran to Elthina, attempting to forget everything that Hawke stirred in me.

"I'm giving it all up! I made a vow to the Chantry and it was wrong to turn my back."

I flailed helplessly, hoping Elthina would understand. She sighed in exasperation, "Sebastian, listen to yourself. You're an impulsive now as the day you turned away from us. Do you think the Maker wants another rashly spoken vow that you'll abandon when the next passion takes you?"

I protested, "I will not –"

She waved aside my protests, exclaiming, "This is your life, child. Don't spend it being blown about like a weathervane." She threw her arms up in the air, beyond frustrated. I knew what she was saying. She wanted me to make a decision for myself rather than live in fear and end up having decisions made for me.

She was right, of course. In my attempts not to think, I had turned to the Chantry as some kind of escape plan. It was not right. I spent a few hours with Aveline, hoping she could give me some sound advice as to whether to reclaim my lands but nothing she said really impacted.

Then one night, I sat at a desk, trying to work out what I wanted. Hawke. Always Hawke. In the end, I realized that I couldn't work anything out until I resolved the problems I had with Hawke.

Elthina came to me and as she sat opposite to me, she told me, "She's watching you again. It's been a while since she's done that."

I was confused at once, "What?"

Her Grace tilted her head infinitesimally towards the door and whispered, "Young Lady Hawke. Whilst you were roaming from city to city, she would come here to watch you work when you were in Kirkwall. She seemed to derive some peace from you but then she stopped, too caught up by the hardships of life she's had to endure, I imagine."

I looked at my hands. I could not tell Elthina what was on my mind but she seemed to know. "And you seem to always be thinking of her. I see the looks you've given her. What will you do?"

I blurted out softly, "I know her so well and yet not at all."

She regarded me with a critical eye, "So isn't it about time you did something?"

Elthina left and as I concentrated upon the door in my periperhy, I could faintly make out the line of a dress, the tangle of hair and the curves of breast and waist. I no longer wanted her to hide from me and I called out, "Hawke?"

She stepped into the firelight, clothed only in a thin, white nightdress of Orlesian silk that bared her arms. My stomach tightened at the sight. So innocent. So seductive. She would be the death of me but she also seemed fatigued and reluctant to come any closer. I strode towards her with determination and held my hand out. After a hesitation, she took it and I took her towards the desk, sitting her down in the armchair whilst I sat opposite to her.

Hawke ran a feminine hand through her hair, leaving strands tickling at the corners of her lips. My hands itched again and this time, I did not resist, brushing it aside whilst purposely grazing her lips. I spoke gently, "You are tired."

"And yet I could not sleep." Her voice came out just as softly, as though unwilling to shatter the comfortable atmosphere of the room.

"Talk to me, Hawke. Share your burdens with me."

She placed her hands upon the table, palms up almost in supplication. "It's been weeks of endless struggling between the Viscount and the Qunari. There haven't been official acts of war but both sides are restless. And the Arishok…" She shook her head in despair, "He is but a hair's breadth away from killing us all."

I touched her hands, toying with her smooth fingers. I marvelled at her delicateness. Her skin was smooth, unmarred but the tips of her fingers were cold. I held her fingers between my palms and told her, "You should call on us, on me, for aid."

"I think that's why I came here tonight. I feel like I'm falling apart, Sebastian. I need…" she broke off but a silent "you" finished the sentence in my mind.

"Yes?"

Hawke moved around in her seat causing one of her shoulder straps to fall off. It was difficult to keep my mind upon the topic of conversation when in my mind, I could clearly see her in bed, a look of want gracing her face with my hands slipping the other shoulder strap down.

She sighed, "I need… want… a lot of things I can never possibly have. It doesn't matter."

It did matter. What did she want? I did not push. She would come to me in time.

"The Viscount constantly has me up in his office, discussing every possible angle of the situation. There are so many tasks that he requires I do alone and it's a miracle I've come out unscathed. Anders…" she broke off.

I smiled, "He is very upset with you because you've been injured too frequently."

Anders had come to me, wondering if I knew what Hawke had been up to but unfortunately, I could offer nothing of use. The entire group had spoken about their concerns but none had seen Hawke enough to voice them.

Hawke nodded, "Keeps asking me what is happening too but I haven't been answering. And tomorrow, Aveline needs us to help the guards patrol the Wounded Coast. Fenris and Anders were the only ones who weren't busy."

She yawned and her eyes dropped. I shook my head, "You've forgotten me. I will be there tomorrow. However, you should sleep."

I wanted to tell her more. I wanted to tell her that I needed her in my life but she slumped forward, her head resting upon her forearms and I realized that I would have time tomorrow or the next day. There was no real rush. We had made a start. That was good enough.

I could have carried her home. The Chantry was not so far from her estate but selfishly, I wanted her to myself and so, I cradled her in my arms and laid her in my bed. It wasn't how I'd pictured her being in my bed. The sheets were wrong, the pillows were wrong and most of all, I was not beside her but it was a start.

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><p>A mini intimate scene. Did it send hearts a flutter? Let me know!<p>

Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	9. Only Cats Have Nine Lives

**Chapter 9: Only Cats Have Nine Lives**

When early morning came, I went to Hawke's estate to ask Bodahn to collect her robes and weapon. I did not want the townsfolk judging Hawke as some hussy, dressed in her nightgown, walking around Hightown. When I returned, she was still sound asleep and out of a moments weakness, I lay beside her in bed, pushing my face into her hair. She smelled sweet with a note of forbidden spices that I could not ignore. I groaned into her neck and she began to shift. Realizing how improper I was behaving, I sat up and pretended to shake her from sleep.

Her eyes fluttered open and seeing me, she smiled in a seductively drowsy manner. "Good morning. Where am I?"

My mouth went dry and I had the sudden temptation to cover her body with my own, kissing her until we were both breathless. I stood to grab her clothes and replied, "You're in my room, at the Chantry."

She giggled before turning in the bed, burying her face in the pillow, "Well well well, Sebastian Vael… what would the Chantry sisters say when they find out you've had a woman in your bed?"

She was obviously in a better mood than she had been the previous night and my throat tightened as she pulled her legs from under the blankets, exposing their familiar length to me. Stretching out like a feline, my hands twitched, wanting to grab her, love her… I closed my eyes against the assault of images that burned into my brain. My hands all over her, my mouth closing over her breasts… oh Maker, forgive me.

I left for her to change, bringing her some food for the walk to the Wounded Coast. When we passed the estate, Fenris and Anders joined us and once again, Hawke had the attention of three males upon her. I had to admit that I had been watching the swing of her hips as she walked and I'm not sure that the others were immune to her…bodily charms.

We found a group of guards huddled behind a rock. Lieutenant Harley greeted us, stating that Fell Ordan and Evett's mercenaries were attacking in large numbers. The guardsmen all seemed rattled and Hawke gave an inspiring speech telling them,

"Evett's marauders. They're just men. Flesh and bone. Flesh can be torn. Bone can be broken. Alone, they will pick you off. One by one. Together, we are _unstoppable_. On me!"

Harley's last words were to advise us on the traps hidden beneath the sand. I went to work immediately, disabling every trap that I could find that would impede our movements. Fenris hacked through any who dared to oppose us. Hawke placed a glyph of paralysis upon many of the men, making it far easier to dispose many of the rogues that had a tendency to disappear. The battle was long and hard. Though no more of the guardsmen fell, Fell Ordan was a blood mage, summoning many enemies. They seemed to come in waves. I had to wonder where all these thugs came from.

When at last, no more enemies seemed to be coming, we all put down our weapons. Harley began to thank us profusely for our assistance, leaving us to head for the barracks when disaster struck. We had missed two rogues, one on either side of Hawke hidden in bushes and behind rocks. With our guard down, it came as a shock when two arrows whistled through the air into Hawke's legs, impaling her right through. Crippled, she fell to her knees in a yell whilst another prepared to stab her from behind. With fast reflexes, I shot him down but the damage had been done. The rogue had cut right through the back of her robe and blood stained red against the normally pearly pink and purples of her robe. An ugly gash marred her back and she screamed in agony.

The three of us dropped to her side immediately whilst Anders searched for potions in his bag. He cursed foully, "I have no healing potions left but –" He poured a black substance down Hawke's throat. She convulsed but the bleeding stopped. The pool of blood stopped growing on her robes. Her eyes began to close.

Anders explained, "Hawke, you need to stay awake. This potion only stops the bleeding temporarily. If you fall asleep, you might not wake up. Stay with us, sunshine."

She was conscious. She tried to babble nonsensically from the pain and Fenris tried to distract her as Anders tried to look at her leg. Irritated by the folds of her robes, he took out a small dagger and cut through her robes to assess the damage. Two arrow were firmly embedded in her leg.

Anders shot to Fenris, "Keep your weight on her torso. She'll thrash. The first arrow is easy to take out with a clean entry and exit but the second one won't be so simple."

Fenris held onto her body tightly, refusing her any movement. With a nod, Anders broke the ends of the first arrow and pulled it straight through. A piercing scream shot from Hales and many birds took flight. Fenris whispered to Hawke, cradling her head, "Shhhh, Valentha… focus on me… keep those eyes open. Talk to me, Valentha."

Valentha? Though Hawke had never mentioned her first name to me, I knew for a fact that Valentha was not her actual name. Anders studied the tip of the arrow for a moment. It was a cruel invention, the tip designed with spikes to rip and tear flesh apart. He cursed foully, "Fuck! I need to push the arrow so that the head is out. Otherwise, it'll do even more damage. Keep a steady hold on her, Fenris."

It was the only time I had ever seen the two work together so efficiently. Her screams cut my soul made me want to kneel to the ground. I would have done anything to stop her suffering but I comforted myself, at least she was actually awake. She forced herself to stay awake but as Anders pulled out the second arrow, she slumped against Fenris, unconsciousness taking her over.

Distressed by the situation, I cried out to Anders, "Can't you just heal her?"

He shook his head, "Their equipment has been tipped with poison. If I try to heal her flesh, it'll only break apart again later. I need to heal her from the inside with lots of healing potions. We need to get her back to Hightown. Now."

Fenris passed me her weapons and carried her all the way back. Though I would have preferred carrying her myself, I did not complain. This was not about my ego but about Hawke's safety. Along the way, I had to ask, "You called her Valentha. That…isn't her real name, is it? I thought her name was Hales?"

Fenris nodded his head, "Yes. Valentha is not her name."

I persisted, "What does it mean?"

"It means 'little bird', I thought it fitting considering she's a Hawke but so delicate. Valentha is not her name."

I watched as he cradled her closer to his body, hastening his pace without jostling her. Anders and I seemed to realize the same thing but untactfully, Anders blurted out, "You're in love with her."

"Do not speak in such an accusing tone, hypocrite."

I looked towards Anders, "You're in love with her, too?"

Anders laughed morbidly, "Do you know any within our group who does not harbour love for her in one form or another? It's just that I cannot be with her. I'd end up hurting her."

I turned to Fenris, "And you?"

Fenris snarled, "That is not your business. I will simply say that when a man looks upon a woman, he knows if she'll become his lover. She is in love with another."

Before long, we arrived in Hightown. Anders quickly went down Hawke's cellars to take every single healing potion he could find along with elfroots whilst Fenris sat her upon a desk, keeping his hand behind her head to support her weight.

Anders arrived quickly and with some help, poured massive quantities of red healing potion into her mouth. It was endless, empty bottles littered Hawke's bedroom until Hawke coughed, her eyes snapped open and she looked around, aware of her surroundings.

We breathed a sigh of relief. Her voice was weak when she asked, "What's going on?"

Anders hushed her, "Don't talk, sunshine. I'm stitching your legs but you have to keep your weight off of your right leg for a while."

Anders stitched her legs, whispering to Hawke that he promised there would be no scars by the end of the healing process before wrapping bandages around her leg. When he was done, he motioned for Fenris to sit her down so that he could assess the damage on her back.

Fenris gently carried Hawke to a stool and Hawke sat with her back facing Anders. He tore through the back of her robes to expose only the part of her back that had been cut. Already, Anders' foul, black sludge of a potion had begun to stop working as drops of blood began to leak again. He poured a white salve on her wounds, causing the skin to hiss. Hawke cried out in pain, her entire body turning an awful shade of putrid grey. The skin fused together but was still a very raw pink. Anders stroked her shoulders, comforting her, "I'm sorry… the gash was too wide. The salve will weld your skin together."

The gash was also incredibly deep. Not only had the knife cut through her robes but also her breast band as the strap was broken. I made a mental note to ensure she bought new robes before venturing into more dangerous situations but just as soon as relief flowed through me, so too did fear and shock.

I had nearly lost her. What if Anders didn't have that potion? What if we hadn't killed the rogue fast enough? What if the knife had gone into her heart? She would be dead for sure.

"_Don't spend it being blown about like a weathervane."_ Elthina's voice was in my mind, her words echoing over and over.

I needed Hawke. Needed her with a passion I had never felt. It was not just lust but I was afraid to use the word 'love'. I did not want to claim possession of her simply in response to her dying and the knowledge of two men who would vie for her attention, if possible.

Did I love her? My heart screamed at me to say the words but what if I was wrong? I did not want to hurt her.

I stood there, struck with fear, indecision and revelation, staring straight through her back. At some point, the two spoke to her, words of comfort and sweetness. I know that they told her to rest and to join them in the Festival of Lanterns in a few days time but all these words did not sink into my mind till much, much later.

Bodahn came up with a tub of steaming water for Hawke's perusal of a bath and still, I stood with Anders and Fenris, watching her weakened silhouette from behind a screen as she, with some difficulty, disrobed.

I did not wake up from my thoughts until Hawke's exhausted face peeked from behind the screen, her eyes filled with unshed tears as she choked out, "I can't get into the bath without help."

Knowing that she was in too much pain, I handed her a clean, white towel for her to wrap around her body and after she voiced her assent, I gently cradled her, my arms under her neck and knees and placed her into the water, towel included.

She was in much pain, I could see it in her eyes. Those expressive eyes told me everything. I poured some bath salts and oils into the water so that she would not need to use any energy to clean herself. I would have offered but I wasn't sure how she felt about my hands upon her flesh.

Fenris voiced his feelings, "We will leave so you have some privacy. Call us when you're done. You are not climbing out of the tub without assistance."

I was the last to walk towards the door but her weak voice stopped me, "Sebastian?"

I turned towards her, her body still covered by the towel, "Yes, Hawke?"

"My name is Hales. You can call me that if you wish."

Hales…so sweet yet so powerful a name. I knew it all along but how could I not have used that name to address her before? I didn't know. Then it occurred to me, had she been awake the whole time back to Hightown? Did she now know that Fenris and Anders were in love with her? Did she think that I had no affection for her?

Then Fenris' voice echoed in my mind. _"She is in love with someone else."_

I groaned, what if I was not the one she loved? Yet, she had slept in my bed with no qualms. She had touched my hands and parted her lips whilst revelling in pleasure. And that night as I kissed her hand, had her breath not hitched?

I had been staring at her, staring through her, once again lost in thought. Sounds of water woke me from another daydream. I apologized, "I'm sorry. Today's been –"

I broke off, how could I possibly finish that sentence? She leaned her head back against the edge of the tub and made an apathetic sound. Hales moved to get comfortable and from the door, I could clearly see the towel drifting lower, exposing gentle swells of breast. Minutes passed. She hissed in pain as she moved, tears glistening in her eyes.

"Hales…" I had to say it and though I had meant to show her that I adored her name, it sounded erotic and needy, even to my own ears.

'I want you', 'I think I'm falling in love with you', 'Be with me', all these phrases floated in my mind but when I opened my mouth, no words came out except, "Would you like me to carry you out of there?"

She reached her arms out for me, and towel included, I lifted her from the water, my hands grazing her silky thighs. As I placed her upon her feet, behind the screen, my hands brushed down her shoulders and though my mind screamed for me not to, I kissed behind her ear, telling her, "I'm very grateful that you're alive and well."

Hales shivered at my touch but I had taken all the liberties I could. After passing her clean towels and her nightdress, I left her alone.

From what I heard later on, Fenris stayed with her the entire day through. She was very restless and frustrated to be bedridden and so, Fenris had allowed her to teach him to read the entire day through until she fell asleep.

I was alone, though. I felt much attraction for her. She was both beautiful and intelligent, however, I had to admit to myself that I knew too little about her and all I did know was from other people. How she reacted to me could be different and though, she seemed to enjoy my affections, there were too many questions that were left unanswered.

Was I in love with her?

Was she in love with me?

Was she someone I could be with?

Could she be a part of my future and if so, what future would that be?

Was I a Prince of Starkhaven or just a Chantry brother?

And until the last question was answered, even though Hales would always factor into my considerations, I could not lead her on and pretend to offer a life that I had no intention of keeping.

* * *

><p>Hmmm... Did I make it sound like a total shopping list? Let me know!<p>

Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	10. Ten Different Women

**Chapter 10: Ten Different Women**

Since that day, I now referred to her as Hales, no matter where we were. She seemed to appreciate that, she told me after a particularly gruelling day, "I'd forgotten what it was like to be called Hales again. Aside from my mother and sister, no one calls me that anymore."

Though that being said, there was a slight change in our relationship. Our friendship had always been strained by overtones of other feelings, especially mine but it then changed. It was as though she knew that I had many decisions to make and she did not want to factor into my decision or affect me in any way. We never flirted and we talked less and in fact but ironically enough, that seemed to be the better way of knowing her.

During our different quests, I began to see her appreciation for life and freedom. Though she often sided with helpless mages, I began to understand that she did not do so for the sake of rebelling against Templars but rather, she had a real concern for the safety of the mage after ascertaining that they were not blood mages. She was careful but also lenient and it was a quality that I had never seen balanced so well.

What I didn't like seeing was her growing relationship with Anders. She was always close to all of her friends. Hales had an easy camaraderie with Isabela and Varric, gentle discussions with Merrill and Aveline and it was undoubtable that Fenris was her best friend but Anders… they had been growing incredibly close.

It had begun on the night of the Festival of Lanterns. Bright red, floating lanterns decorated almost every available space of both Hightown and Lowtown. By then, Hales' leg had healed nicely after daily visits from Anders and being the first night out since her injury, the entire group was to be present.

Through Isabela's insistence that Hightown socializing was not lively in any sense of the word, everyone waited for Hales in Lowtown where admittedly, everyone was celebrating. The Hanged Man was bustling with business, even more than usual and there was dancing. A lot of dancing.

When Hales stepped into the Hanged Man, time stopped. There she was, her unruly hair dropping all the way down her back and she was dressed in a deep siren's red, silk dress. It was sinful. The dress started at her chest, ample swells exposed to the light whilst her sleeves started half-way down her arms leaving too much of her skin bared. The dress was also short, stopping a few inches above her knee and her legs, Maker her legs, were begging for my hands and lips to worship. I wanted to march her home so that she could change or so that I could tie her to a bed and never let her go. And as she walked, no sauntered, towards us, every eye was upon her body.

"Thank Andraste, I'm out of the house!" she cried with enthusiasm, her hair bouncing as she spoke, sending a wafting scent of roses towards me…heavenly.

The rake within me saw red as she stood beside Anders, his eyes roaming over her curves. She pulled everyone outside, telling us that all the festivities were outdoors.

Stalls, shops and all assortments of food were sold. Anders never left her side as she tasted cakes, sipped on wine until her cheeks turned slightly pink. They sat together at the foot of the one of the stairs, watching firesparkles shoot up in the sky as Hales produced an amulet for Anders.

At first, he looked shocked and even a little angry at her gift but as she explained, he appeared mollified and even smiled. She placed it over his neck and he took her hand, kissing the inside of her wrists. She blushed and leaned into his warmth, allowing his hands to drag up and down her arm.

I nearly screamed in frustration and jealousy. My hands turned to fists and I was sorely tempted to drive an arrow right through the man. Hadn't he admitted to hurting her by being with her? Why was he taking such chances now? The selfish bastard! Isabela seemed to notice my reaction and she commented, "You snooze, you lose, Chantry-boy."

It had begun with a Tevinter Chantry amulet. Then he bought her new robes. The colours were bolder, dark periwinkle blue that led into a red reminiscent of the siren's dress she wore that night with golden embroidery that criss-crossed down her body.

Then he began his weak flirtations, throwing lines at her that were both clichéd and unoriginal. My inner rake bristled at his blatant attempts to seduce but I did not do much about it either. I never answered those questions in my mind, just pretended that they didn't exist.

After that, they were inseparable. Hales was never alone. If she was not doing a task, trying to save the Qunari that had been taken by prisoners, she was teaching Fenris to read and if she were not doing that, she was sitting in Darktown, watching Anders heal refugees.

I seemed to be the only who saw Anders for what he was. Selfish, dangerous and though, he was not an abomination, he was just as volatile and unsafe. With Hales so close to him, I was afraid that he would hurt her as he once told me. Selfish man, he knew he would hurt her, why was he pursuing her?

Then Quentin, that monstrous necromancer happened. Anders and she had been walking around the Chantry courtyard, laughing and joking. When she tripped, his arms came around her and pulled her towards him. Her laughter died down. Anders kissed her, devoured her, holding her in a violent passion that I found unforgivable. I had already run down the Chantry stairs to stop him but something else beat me to it.

Gamlen, Hales' uncle, had news of Leandra. She had not arrived for weekly lunch and he was certain that something bad had happened.

Along with me and Isabela, we followed stains of red blood into Lowtown and into a Foundry where we found Quentin and the freakishly stitched up body of Leandra. Every part of her body was from a different woman. We fought possessions of desire demons - Ninette, Alessa, Elsa, Dorothea, Elora, Allison, Cora, Fiona, Danielle and finally, Leandra.

It was with Quentin that Hales' cruel anger shone through. Her fury knew no bounds. She had him cornered inside a lightening cage, lifted him up into the air and an invisible force crushed his windpipe. As Quentin fought for air, hatred lined Hales' face. Ice sliced. Fire burned. Electricity arced. It was a slow death. There was so much blood. I was sure that every drop of blood from Quentin's body had been spilled and even then, Hales was not satisfied.

As Hales held her dying mother, Anders could offer her no help.

"I'm sorry. His magic was keeping her alive…"

Hales tried to talk to her mother, keep her alive through sheer force of will but her mother smiled sadly, a bittersweet smile, "I knew you'd come."

"I tried to find you." Hales' voice became frantic and full of fear.

"Shh, don't fret darling. That man would have kept me trapped in here. Now, I'm free. I get to see Carver and your father again but you'll be here alone…"

Tears welled up, making Hales' eyes glassy as she tried to reassure her mother, "I'll be fine….I'll be fine."

Leandra gave a soft chuckle, "My little girl has become so strong. I love you. You've always made me so proud."

Leandra's eyes closed peacefully and the tears that had threatened to fall came down upon Hales' face. Sobs wracked her body and she placed her face into her mother's neck, trying to convince herself that it was just a nightmare.

It was heartbreaking to watch. I could not stand her sadness. Each of us knelt by her side, taking turns in comforting her but it was no use and nor could it be of any use.

Hales had watched her family taken from her, one by one. Her father. Her brother. Her sister, though alive was not a real part of her life. And now, her mother. She was alone.

At some point, the tears stopped and she pried herself from the cold body. Fire rained down from the ceiling as Leandra's body was burned as a last farewell and without a second look, Hales walked out.

The three of us stayed as Hales explained the situation to Gamlen, who promised to explain it to Bethany and also to retrieve the ashes. He left with a, "Look after yourself, my dear."

She climbed the stairs and sat on the edge of the bed, staring out into the fireplace.

Isabela told her, "At least you had a mother who loved you very much. Despite everything, I know she's very proud of you." She gave a brief kiss atop Hales' head and left, knowing that she needed space.

Anders whispered, "I'm sorry" and left too without another word. I was shocked. Were they not in a relationship? Was he not going to comfort his lover?

Where Anders failed, I was determined to succeed. I would be there for Hales.

"Tell me this is all a bad dream." Her voice shook as she spoke, telling of all the tears that hadn't been released.

I could not give her what she wanted to hear.

I removed my weapons and armour, placing it in a heap on the bedroom floor, they were unnecessary tonight. I sat beside her and gathered her into my arms with painstaking care.

"Why?" she whispered into my neck, her breath hot against my skin. My arms rubbed her back in a few fast strokes, hoping to give her some comfort.

"I don't know", I whispered against her cheek. I wished that my words could change everything. For once, I was angry at the Maker. Why had He not been protecting Leandra? Why had Hales deserved such pain? Such a kind and giving soul, it was unforgivable.

I continually stroked her back as her hands lay limp on my chest. At first, my strokes were evenly pressured but then they changed as the night wore on. They became caresses and my hands, of their own volition, began travelling to other places of her body. Her sides, her shoulders, her lower back. I had barely noticed until the back of my hand brushed against her breast and she moaned a sensual note that thrummed right through my body.

Her face lifted from my neck and I forgot that she was a woman overcome by grief. I forgot that her mother had just died. All I could think of was the way she sounded in my ear before my lips crashed down upon hers. Her arms came around my neck and I covered her body with my own, wanting to possess her completely. I slanted my face, cradling her head with my hands before sliding my tongue around the edges of her lips. They parted easily with another soft moan and without wasting even a moment, our tongues met. Soft… seductive…hot… our tongues sensually slid over one another and I suckled upon it until in need of breath.

Her face was flushed with passion but her eyes… a cold bucket of water poured over me. Yes, lust was there. Need, want and I thought, even a sparkle of love but so was grief. Sadness, sorrow and heartache. I stroked her face, staring down into soulful, brown eyes.

"Hales…" I began but she interrupted, "Don't stop. Please."

I shook my head, "No, we can't." She opened her mouth but I interrupted, "I want you, yes, I want you but I won't make love to you like this… I need you to remember, not forget."

She was startled. She had not expected the term 'make love' and that, strengthened my resolve. I would not simply be sleeping with her, having sex or even, as Isabela likes to say, fucking her. I was to make love to her and I could not allow her to relate it as a way of forgetting rather than a memory of everything that we could be.

And then there was the fact that I didn't want to be with her as a distraction because I was available and since she and Anders…

Hales looked away in shame and I lifted her head so that our eyes locked, "If I could, I would throw caution to the wind just once. I have thought about this for so long and I am not so strong a man that I can really resist you but I can't stand the thought of having you hate me tomorrow."

"I will not –"she protested, sounding a little like me when I protested against my breaking of oaths. But I had and would have broken my vow and she would hate me tomorrow.

I laid a soft kiss upon her lips, gentle and chaste, "You are not one to do this lightly. You are not Isabela. You would regret it. Not to mention…Anders…"

She began a justification but I laid a finger at her lips, "Don't speak, sweetheart, just listen. It isn't my place to say anything, I just want you to be careful. He is a dangerous man and often, selfish. I'm not certain that he could place your needs above his own, as you so deserve."

Hales just nodded. I wanted to hear her explanations, I did but she didn't deserve my pressure. Whatever she felt with Anders, she needed to work out on her own. Satisfied that she knew of what I spoke, I held her upon the bed for the rest of the night, allowing her to find comfort and peace in my arms.

That next day passed like a blur for Hales. That I knew for certain. So overcome by grief, nothing that happened during that day or night meant anything to her. Her eyes were glazed and distracted and she was often unfocused throughout battle. She barely spoke, giving nods or shakes of her head, speaking only when necessary. When Seamus was found dead in the Chantry, she did not seem shocked. She did not share my shock that Mother Petrice, someone in the Chantry, could possibly commit murder. The tension within Kirkwall rose to all new heights.

After that, I paced the Chantry gardens trying to work out my feelings for Hales. I had kissed her, wanted her and broken every possible vow I made. Was this right? Then I caught her sitting with Anders, that night, right outside her house. With her face in her hands, I heard her sob in despair and sorrow. I thought it was because of the loss of her mother but Anders' response did not correlate.

"You tried, love. Please don't cry. I hate seeing you like this."

There were more apologies, "I'm sorry, Anders. I'm so sorry."

He held her hand and placed it over his chest, "This was mine to give but it wasn't like I had any choice in the matter."

He pressed the combination of their hands atop her chest and spoke gently, "This is yours to give but it's not as though you had any choice in who received such a precious gift. What matters most is that I will always have you in my life. That is enough."

"I thought…" she sobbed.

"You thought you could make me happy, could make us happy. You did. You made me so incredibly happy. Always have, always will and it won't matter whether we are lovers or friends, I will always be happy to have as much as you are willing to give."

Overcome by his sweetness, she launched herself at him, embracing him tightly. He kissed her forehead and held on for dear life, his eyes shut tightly as though trying to elongate the moment as much as possible. He loved her and he was willing to let her believe the lies he spoke.

For the first time ever, I understood what it was like to love someone. Watching Hales in his arms burned in my heart. It was not jealousy but rather heartache, so painful and bitter that my body doubled over. I gasped for breath, holding onto a garden fence as my only means of support. To watch her in another man's arms left a deep heartache that could not be cured without her body encircled by my own.

It seemed that no matter how flawed Anders was, his love for her was true. He would bear the pain for her, content in the friendship she offered.

I wondered if I could do the same. Could I leave her for her happiness? But, would she be happy without me? Thinking upon the previous night, the way she had arched into me… was it possible that she loved me?

Feeling like an intruder, I left, leaving them to their conversation. There would be time tomorrow to speak to Hales, or so I thought. I could work out my feelings tomorrow.

The next day she disappeared. She simply left with Widge, without a single word to anyone except Bodahn.

* * *

><p>Awww! Where'd she run off to? Find out in the next chapter!<p>

Please R&R!  
>Ann<p> 


	11. The Eleventh Hour

**Chapter 11: The Eleventh Hour **

I was in Viscount's Keep delivering messages for Elthina. Thinking to visit Aveline, I knocked upon her office door and entered.

She was aggravated, edgy and annoyed. Before I had managed a 'good morning', she was already yelling, "I don't know where she is! Maker, if one more person asks…"

Confused by her reaction, I asked, "You don't know where who is?"

"Wait, you're not here about Hawke?" Her eyes were wide from astonishment, as though she had been struck by revelation and epiphany.

Worry slammed into me, a fear that I could not dissuade. What else could I do but ask? "No! I was here just to see how you were! Never mind that, where is Hawke? What's going on?"

Aveline sighed, two armour covered hands slamming onto the table, "She's just left! Merrill went to visit her this morning and she wasn't home. Hawke apparently told Bodahn that she was leaving for a while and would be back when she was ready. Apparently, she handed enough coin for over a month's wage but didn't say where she was going."

"What?" I knew she was upset over a great deal many things but escaping to a completely new place seemed unlike her. What was she running from?

Aveline nodded, "And as Merrill has so helpfully commented", her voice imitated Merrill's odd accent and high-pitched tones, "Maybe Hawke doesn't want to be found."

If the situation had not been so serious, I would have laughed but instead I asked, "So how come everyone is asking you about Hawke?"

"Merrill told Varric and Varric became very concerned. He came to me for answers and to suggest keeping patrols out for her in case she does something stupid."

I shook my head, "Hales isn't like that. She just needs some time."

Her lip curled as she snapped with vicious ferocity, "And since when have you been the expert on all things Hawke?"

I winced at her comment but she continued, "Meanwhile, Merrill has gone off and told everyone that Hawke is away and everyone, and I do mean everyone except Anders, has come up to ask me if Hawke is alright. Even Isabela! Maker, I don't bloody know!"

Anders… hadn't they been talking last night? Did he know something? What happened after I left? Did he harm her?

I charged off, leaving Aveline's protests behind me, towards Anders' clinic. Elthina would just have to wait. On my way there, my mind enthusiastically assisted in visually supplementing me with all the things he could have done to her. Drugged her, murdered her. Maker, raped her…

They were foolish thoughts, of course. Anders loved her. He wouldn't hurt her, would he?

I found Anders scribbling notes in a book and lifting him by the scruff of his collar, I slammed him against a wall, "Where is she?" I demanded.

Parchment fluttered to the floor and a seat was overturned. He struggled and trying to compensate for his movement, I overbalanced and both of us rolled onto the floor.

Anders was the first to lay a blow upon my jaw and I was more than happy to return the favour, the rake within me cheering me on. The Chantry brother was quiet, too quiet, as though he no longer existed and everything within me was an angry, uncontrollable maelstrom of anger, hatred, fear and worry.

My fist clipped the side of his head as I demanded again, "Where is she? What did you do to her?"

He shoved me off of him and we both rolled, first me on top of him then him on top of me. Punches were thrown, kicks to the gut and then I threw him off, both of us looking a little worse for wear.

Anders wiped his busted lip as I adjusted my own jaw. I opened my mouth to ask again but he interrupted, spitting out at me, "She isn't here."

I never had to explain who 'she' was. He knew. I accused, "You know where she's gone."

"And if I did, I wouldn't tell you."

Our fighting ensued once more. I launched myself at him, throwing another punch to his gut. Weapons were long forgotten. It was a primal thing, like an ancient ritual between males competing for the female. When I realized what we were doing, how much injustice we were doing in Hales' name, I paused with my guard down leaving him free to kick me aside.

We both lay on our backs staring up at the cracked ceiling of Anders' clinic, both out of breath. He threw at me in a disgusted tone, "Why the hell do you care anyway?"

I knew it was Anders' irrational anger talking but where it stemmed from, I wasn't sure. I tried to answer politely, "I care for her. She's just left without any indication of how long she's going to be away for and she's upset. Whilst I don't hold the belief that she'd do anything silly, I'd prefer to know where she is for peace of mind. If you know where she is, tell me."

Anders' stated with a stoic tone, "I am not telling you. She doesn't want to be found. I gave her my word. She knows how to look after herself."

That was not an answer and furthermore, he was so sure of himself that my fists tightened. Frustrated by his lack of a real answer, I threw the sharp comment of, "So break your damn word!"

He laughed cynically, "This coming from a Chantry brother? That's rich. You want to do everyone a favour? Go work out what the hell you are. If you're a Prince, go be your damn Prince and take back your damned land. If you're a Chantry brother, stick to that bloody role. She deserves a man who actually loves her."

I sat up, glaring icy daggers at him, "I do love her. I always have. Don't you dare underestimate my feelings for her! You are not the only one who cares for her!"

"How dare I?" Anders prodded his fingers into my armour, "You're the one jerking her around and toying with her like some kind of rag doll. Make a decision and stop playing with her like this. If you don't want her, stop giving her hope. There are more than you that love her and want to protect her. Maker curse you into the Void but I'll never understand why she set her heart on you."

My eyes widened in hope and fear. She loved me? Anders threw his arms up, "Finally, the Maker's light shines upon him in understanding!" It was such a snide comment but I overlooked it. So overwhelmed by this new found knowledge and hope, I ordered in a regal tone that I had forgotten, "What did she tell you?"

He rolled his eyes, "Work it out yourself, Prince Charming. I'm not your personal advisor on all matters women. Now leave me alone."

I left in a trance back to the Chantry, my body responding and turning at all the right roads and alleys but I never remembered that trek. Many strangers and cloistered sisters gave me wary looks as bruises had bloomed over my face but I was too distracted and somehow, I found myself at a desk and mechanically, I began copying manuscripts with only half a mind.

Elthina was of course, incredibly displeased. She lectured, "You are a Chantry brother! It is high time you act like one instead of allowing yourself to be carried off whenever the passion takes you!"

I was only half-listening. It was in one of those moments that I actually realized how much I loved her, how much I needed her in my life. It was whilst my quill had been suspended above parchment, a dot of ink staining it that I realized that I had admitted it to Anders, of all the people.

Though I hated him, he was right. Regardless of how Hales felt about me, regardless of whether he was right or wrong, I had a decision to make. To string Hales along was irresponsible. Was it the Chantry life or the Prince of Starkhaven?

Though I did not particularly look forward to dealing with jackals like Lady Harimann, neither was I able to live the Chantry life anymore. It wasn't about sex or any physical pleasures. It was about love and giving us a real relationship, not one that was incomplete.

In the first week, I pondered about my vows. Elthina and I talked long and often. I was ashamed that I had broken my vows. I confessed to kissing Hales. Elthina had given a ghost of a smile, telling me, "There is no need to bring up a vow that was broken three years ago. Though I admire your tenacity to keep true to your vows, you were not bound and have not been bound by your vows for over three years. Find the life you want to live."

With her blessing, I spent much of the second week contemplating on what life was better suited to me. My Grandfather had been more than willing to give up his life of title for a life of contemplation. Did I really want to do the same? I left for Starkhaven, snaking into its Chantry late at night.

I'm fairly certain I gave my Grandfather quite the shock when he found me sitting upon his bed but he was joyful in seeing me. With still a bear-like strength, he crushed me to his chest like I was a young child again. I explained my dilemma. I explained Hales. Grandfather beamed as he listened to me speak of her. He told me, "It sounds like you're quite taken with the young lass."

"I love her", I replied. He shook his head and smiled with pride, "It is about time you settled with a bonny lass such as she. I would like to meet her."

I shrugged, "What about Starkhaven?"

As Grandfather stared out the window, he seemed slightly wistful but still happy. "Starkhaven is still only a piece of land. The Crown is still just worldly riches. Yes, it is a huge responsibility and to guide a nation with a steady hand is rewarding but love… what can ever compare to love? Though ruling Starkhaven gave me joy, nothing meant more than my wife and children."

I sighed. I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to hear. Of course, Hales meant more to me than all of Starkhaven but neither did I wish to surrender one for the other. He patted my head and said, "I remember you once being much more fun-loving. Though you've grown up and become a man, you shouldn't change who you are."

I admired the Chantry's teachings and believed in it. The Chantry made me a man, gave me discipline and rigidity, rules and structure, principles and morals. All of these things made me a man rather than a boy. Then I considered the person I was, the playful and fun-loving person that I hadn't remembered being for so long. Wasn't it possible to be the old Sebastian without giving up my morals?

Funnily enough, I went to Isabela for advice. She was like the old version of me. I found her at the Hanged Man and asked, "You have a minute?"

She leered, "Sure. How can I be of service?"

I told her my dilemma. Strangely enough, she was capable of treating the issue as one of serious discussion rather than a joke. She told me, "I've seen the way the two of you exchange looks. Everywhere! When you get a scratch, she sends these puppy-dog eyes your way. Then when she laughs, you start staring at her like she's something to eat. I've been pretty tempted to push you guys into a bed and lock the bedroom door."

I laughed and then felt ashamed. She tutted, "You've been holed up in that convent too long. Just because you have fun doesn't mean you don't know what's right and wrong. This isn't supposed to be difficult. She's uptight these days about politics. You know politics, lived through it half your life. You're uptight about morals but she's a good counterpoint to that – amusing as hell, that girl."

I groaned and put my face in my hands. Isabela teased, "If you don't want her, I'll have her."

I growled in irritation, "She's mine!" I insisted. She tittered, "See that possessive streak? You're not going to get the girl by being Chantry boy. You need to give her a little something otherwise she will get bored. You haven't seen her work her magic on the men."

I snapped, "What are you talking about?"

She giggled, "You haven't seen her at a real party, have you? She's a bloody flirt and tease. She's just been stressed lately and what with her mother…"

I nodded. Isabela continued, "Give her some time. Make her feel comfortable. Seduce her. It'll work out."

I sighed, "What about whether I'm taking my lands or not?"

Isabela shrugged, "There's only so much I can say. What I can tell you though, is that there are many lives out there. Yes, Chantry boy, Prince of Starkhaven but you can be an ordinary person finding adventure everyday."

I shook my head, "Starkhaven needs me."

She gave me a wry grin, "Then you've already made your decision."

I returned to the Kirkwall Chantry happy in my decision. I would reclaim my lands, I would become Prince of Starkhaven. If Hales would have me, she would be Princess by my side.

There were two problems: One, could Hales be Princess considering she was a mage? Two, would Hales have me?

I voiced my concerns with Elthina. She told me, "The Maker will provide. Walk the path He has given you and see where it leads."

The third week Hales was gone, I spent much time with Flora. Given her promise that she'd support my ascension, she had been a great help in introducing the idea of a better Prince within Starkhaven's court. I imagine that I should have felt guilty about tipping Goran off the throne as I intended to but I had no ill intentions towards him. He would be well looked after and still a Prince. He just wouldn't be ruling. That wasn't so bad, was it?

The days that Hales were gone were easily filled. Tasks and duties were readily available. In the three weeks that she was gone, the tensions between Qunari and Kirkwall had only become more and more serious. Messages were often sent back and forth between Viscount and Arishok but it was to no avail. Every time our group passed on a message, the Arishok seemed even crazed and ferocious than the last. There was no compromise and without a leader, our group could do nothing.

It was the nights that kept me awake, lying on my bed aching for her sweet scent and heat. There was a new dream every night. I dreamt of her lips parting beneath mine, kissing down her neck and giving her nipples the lavish affection they deserved. They'd be tight, hardened and pouting for the touch that was demanded. I could see her legs in my mind, open before me and bending at the knees so I could feast upon her nectar. Her eyes would be shining with equal parts of lust and love and she would call out my name in sweet symphony.

I'd wake up hot, hard and unable to shake off the phantom of my dreams. Every night, my hands would wrap around myself and stroke with slow pace, imagining her in my mind until I hastened and spilled. It became easier with each night. There was no more guilt. There was only need and pleasure that could not sate me long. I needed Hales, wanted and hungered.

When Hales came back, no one knew. She acted as though she had never left and it was through Aveline's messengers that everyone found that once more, Hales was up in the Viscount's office for her next task.

Everyone grouped outside the Viscount's office, much to the annoyance of Seneschal Bran. We paced for what must seem like hours until the office opened, revealing a very different Hales to the one we previously knew.

She was thin, her robes hanging off her when they used to be filled very nicely. Though there was a smile upon her face, there was something wrong with it, like it was not heartfelt… and her eyes…cold and sharp. Whatever we expected, this was not it. Many seemed to echo my sentiments with dropped jaws and surprised looks. Furthermore, there was a suspicious lump in her pocket that actually seemed to move…

However, the shock wore off once the office door closed behind the Viscount. Hales' smile became a heartfelt grin before commenting humorously, "I get it. I'm great and wonderful and you can't live without me but seriously, the entourage wasn't necessary."

Isabela was the first to recover, sending Hales her signature leer, "Well, don't get too big-headed. I totally need your help otherwise I'll die!"

Aveline pushed Isabela aside, "Quit wasting time, whore. There are more problems in this world than 'who to sleep with'?"

Hales rubbed the back of her neck with discomfort, "Nice to see things don't change."

There were handshakes exchanged with Aveline and Varric. Fenris commented dryly, "Next time you leave, tell me" and refused to hug her until she agreed. Merrill was delighted, throwing her scant arms around Hales with vigour and enthusiasm. For Isabela, it was a saucy wink and a reciprocated smirk. I hadn't seen that side of her before; was a passionate wildfire running underneath that pale skin?

Anders didn't hesitate in pulling her for a tight embrace and she wrapped her arms around his neck, leaving a soft, pink lip stain upon his cheek whilst whispering, "Thank you." I met Anders' eyes above her head and to taunt me, his arms drifted down her back towards the curves of her bottom. My fists clenched and I looked away as she released him.

That left me. After a quick regard, her fist met my shoulder before asking, "How are you doing?" It was casual, informal and totally indifferent. What happened? I panicked. Did she not love me anymore? Was she indifferent to my presence? No!

I blurted, "Where have you been?" Everyone else echoed my thoughts.

She chuckled, "I know. You all want the details but we're going to have to wait for the reunion. We have a Qunari problem to deal with. The Arishok has collected two wanted criminals who have converted to the Qun."

Aveline nodded, "He must be convinced to release him. He's already feared because of Petrice. If people begin to think that he can ignore the law…We need to make sure this doesn't get out of hand!"

Isabela protested, "I'm going to die! There, got your attention? Real problem."

Hales leaned nonchalantly against the wall; she seemed relaxed and healthier despite not looking that way physically. Wherever she disappeared off to, it seemed to leave her refreshed and more like herself. She tilted her head, "I heard 'Arishok' and 'die' so what's this about?"

"Remember the relic? The one Castillon is going to kill me over? A man called 'Wall-eyed Sam' has it. If you help me get it, Castillon won't kill me. Please."

Aveline bristled, "I'm trying to keep the entire city from rioting against the Qunari!" Her voice was loud and carried through the corridor. Some citizens paused. Hales' lip pursed, "Let's speak of this elsewhere."

She motioned to Seneschal Bran's office and closed the door behind the entire group. Isabela commented after a brief hesitation, "Well, maybe it's all connected."

"What?" Everyone turned suspicious eyes upon Isabela.

She quickly protested, "I'm just saying that maybe it'll help. It's important to someone, right?"

Hales narrowed her eyes as Aveline cursed; "Now you start you being responsible? Shit!"

Hales questioned coolly, "You're sure this is the relic you're after?"

"I've had my ear to the ground for a while, there was a description of the book. After Sam began dealings with black market merchants, it wasn't long before I got wind of it."

Anders interrupted, "Wait, a book? You said you didn't know what it was."

I was about to say the same. Isabela had vehemently denied her knowledge of the relic and it was plainly obvious that she knew more than she was letting on. She stuttered, "Well…I… I know it's a book. That's all I know. It's written in a foreign tongue."

As she recovered, Isabela finished with bravado, "Honestly what does it matter, it'll save me from Castillon so I need it."

Aveline objected, "I'm dealing with hundreds and thousands of lives. That takes priority!"

With a regal wave, Hales silenced the group. As silence reigned, there was a soft purr in the air that seemed to emanate from her pocket. I shrugged it off as when Hales spoke, it was with an unquestionable air – an air reminiscent of how my mother once ruled. "The relic issue has to be resolved before we take on the Qunari."

Aveline seemed reluctant, "You trust her this much?"

"Probably not, I wouldn't" said Isabela, smiling wryly.

Hales nodded, "This Qunari problem has been going on for weeks. One more day won't make too much difference."

Aveline assented with a reluctance that I shared, "I really hope this helps, Hawke because if it doesn't…"

It was reaching the eleventh hour. Things were intense and threatening a severe downhill motion. The Qunari Compound housed too many. If they intended to harm…

Isabela interrupted, "You think I like having this on my mind? Come on, the exchange is happening tonight at a Lowtown Foundry."

Our leader leaned against Bran's table before nodding, "Meet me at my estate tonight after sundown. If anyone is available, please meet us there."

It was a clear dismissal. Varric said, "Drinks on me and Diamondback at the Hanged Man. Anyone interested?"

Everyone cheered and Hales said, "We'll be right there. Just need Anders for a moment."

Damn it. I wanted to talk to her. I stayed by the door as everyone filtered through and lingered to hear the conversation.

Soft mewls echoed in the tiny office and Anders exclaimed, "So that's what was wriggling around in your pocket! The kitty's adorable…"

Hales had a cat stuffed in her pocket? There were gentle peals of laughter from Hales, "She's not Ser Pounce-a-Lot but… she's something. Even Widge has become quite taken with her."

"A Mabari hound and a kitty, I'd pay coin to see that."

There were more purrs from the creature as Hales explained, "If you're free to help Isabela out, bring her along and let Widge look after her for a few hours. You'll see."

"Are you alright?" he asked, worry lining his tone. There was a brief pause before she said, "It was a much needed trip. We'll talk about it when we have time. Oh, and Elissa sends her platonic love."

Elissa? Who was Elissa? Anders and Hales were close enough that they had mutual friends?

The door opened revealing both of them with a tiny, black kitten no bigger than two of Anders' hands. The kitten hopped onto his shoulder as Hales scratched the back of its ear before I interrupted, clearing my throat.

My tone was formal and brooked no argument, "Hawke, a moment of your time?"

She blanched. It had been a long while since I called her Hawke. As Anders eyed the two of us cautiously, Hales waved him on, "I'll be fine. See you at the Hanged Man and give the kitty a name!"

With her back turned towards me, she leaned onto the banister to ask, "Is there something you'd like to talk about?"

I stepped forward beside her and boxed her against the railing. I would not allow her to avoid me, "Yes, there is much. I have questions about you and answers for you. I have chosen-"

She turned towards me with a hard face, her eyes glinting like pebbles under moonlight, "Please Sebastian, this is not the time. We have much to plan for. I am almost certain that Isabela's relic is connected to the Qunari otherwise there is no reason at all for her need to find it now."

I commented, "She needs it to save her skin but this might be what the Arishok has been looking for."

"Exactly. And Isabela will not give it up lightly."

I nodded as she continued, "Then there are the two fugitives. The elves are protected by the Qun and the people of Kirkwall will not stand idly by as the Qunari do as they please. Though the Qun is law, it is not our law. We will never understand. This can only end in bloodshed."

We began walking towards the Hanged Man and it was not until we reached the area that I realized what Hales had been doing. She had purposely dangled pieces of information in front of me to distract me from my questions. And I, like some half-starved dog, had responded accordingly, falling right into her trap. I cursed myself. She had been avoiding me and though, she had a point about the fact that there was much planning to do, I would give her only the time she needed.

Hales would not avoid me forever.

* * *

><p>Are things steaming up yet for Hawke and Sebastian?<p>

Let me know! Love, Ann

PS - Made an edit. Thank you to whoever (anonymous) reminded me that Starkhaven was Prince title not King title. I found out but forgot to change this chapter!


	12. Midnight Fighting

**Chapter 12 – Midnight Fighting**

Everyone was drunk, or at the very least, tipsy. Merrill swayed from side to side, Aveline gave off very unusual giggles and many were just all over Varric's table in various means of incapacitation. So, when night fell deep, Anders, Isabela and I went with Hawke to retrieve the relic.

That seemed to be the ongoing theme, Anders and me vying for Hales' attention and love. Though Anders was already a man of her past, rather than her future, he was nevertheless competition. And I refused to lose. We made a stop to the estate, allowing Anders' new cat to curl up with Widge.

Much to Isabela's disappointment, there was no fight. The cat seemed more than content to sidle against the Mabari, taking comfort in the heat and companionship. Hales' only response was, "I told you so."

As I looked around the foyer, I noticed many packages that were not yet unpacked. Though unwilling to question her personally, I had been curious. Thankfully, Isabela was blunt enough to ask, "What are in those?"

Hales stiffened but gave a genial smile and answered vaguely, "Random things."

Knowing Isabela, she would have asked more questions so Hales cut her off saying, "We can talk later. Let's find your relic first."

The streets of Lowtown were quiet, no thugs, no gangs, no one to impede our way until we reached the Foundry. A group of Qunari stood there awaiting Isabela, ordering, "Halt! You shall surrender the relic!"

Isabela answered brusquely, "I don't have your stupid relic."

With that, they attacked us. I had never faced a Qunari squad and they were by no means easy to defeat. Though each fell easily after their leader died, it had taken quite a while to even dent their skin. I was very grateful that they wore no armour.

Hales and I shared a glance. Our previous assumptions of the Qunari seemed accurate. Anders accused, "Anything you'd like to tell us, Isabela?"

"Er… yes, about that. The relic belongs to the Qunari and there's a small chance that they want it back."

Hales' voice became cynical, "A small chance? You realize that the Arishok has been looking for this, stuck here because of it, correct?"

Isabela had the good sense to look contrite and muttered, "I've always known what the relic is, I just didn't want to worry you…"

"How kind of you", I commented wryly.

She waved her hands helplessly, "The relic is a Qunari text handwritten by some philosopher of theirs. I stole it from them, they followed me to reclaim it and now, they're stuck here."

Hales slapped her forehead, her loose dress floating about her, "You could have done something about the Qunari!"

She had the gall to be unrepentant, "Done what? The blighted thing didn't show up for three years! Look, the book is right in this building and I'm not going to let it slip away again. It's the only thing that'll get Castillon off my back. Please tell me you'll give me the relic."

Hales sighed, exasperated by the events that had transpired. She looked up to the sky for a moment, as though wondering why she'd ever come back to Kirkwall but eventually nodded, "It's yours. Your life depends on it."

Anders rounded on her, "You'll let her walk away with the one thing that'll save everyone?"

Hales did not answer. Her loyalty was to her family. She couldn't be the cause of Isabela's death. I hissed at Anders without Isabela overhearing, "Did you really think Isabela is going to just hand it over?"

The three of us shared a look of resignation before following.

We were already too late. Tevinter mages, a handful of Qunari were already fighting over the Tome of Koslun. Wall-Eyed Sam took the opportunity to run and Isabela ran after him, leaving us to fight both mage and Qunari.

I flipped my bow out and took aim but Hales stopped me, "No. Let them fight. We'll take out the remainder. The Qunari are not easy prey."

Mages fell, they were no match for charging Qunari but they had, at the very least, weakened the few that came toward us. The fight became easier. Most were already weak from taking damage. I noticed that the Qunari seemed to be straight up fighters, preferring the use of brute force. This would come in useful, I was sure.

A little bruised, we raced out of the Foundry only to find Wall-Eyed Sam's cold, dead body and Isabela's note that she had left with the relic.

Hales crumpled the letter and burnt it, removing the one piece of evidence that Isabela had taken the relic and left. She gave a slightly snide comment, "Relic issue resolved. Next!"

I told her, "We had best get to Aveline. She'll want to know of this."

We found a sober Aveline nursing a headache outside the Qunari compound with a small retinue of guard. She looked up when Hales' shadow fell upon her path. Aveline questioned, "What happened?"

Hales shook her head in response, a symbolic answer that Isabela had left with the relic. Aveline cursed foully and even Hales winced as though she had been struck physically, "I told you!" Hales did not dignify with a response.

Aveline told the Qunari guard, "I request an audience with the Arishok."

"He will allow it but not in this number", his voice was resolute, thrumming with authority.

"I will only bring my friend and a small complement of my guard. Is that few enough?"

The guard seemed surprised at Aveline's easy agreement but my gut tightened. Something about all this did not seem right, I was very certain that things would end badly. What could one woman do? What could Hales do that hadn't been attempted by the others? The Arishok, though respected Hawke, still perceived her as disposable.

As a portion of the guard waited outside the compound with Anders and me, I heard nothing from the conversation. I saw only movements and two elves that must have been the fugitives Aveline mentioned. From what I could see, the conversation was going nowhere. Though there were no shouts of movements of violence, the Arishok's stance was unforgiving and unnegotiable.

Anders fidgeted beside me, "I can't hear anything and things aren't looking good." I nodded.

Our worst fears came to life when the Arishok raised his hand to silence Aveline and turned away. Spears came flying down from the sides of the Qunari compound and from above, impaling all of Aveline's guards within a second. Two attacked Hales and Aveline in close combat. Aveline made short work of the first being heavily armoured but Hales had to duck and weave, her agility serving her well rather than brute force. Hales weaved around the Qunari and thrust her staff at his back, leaving his body searing from the flames.

As Aveline and Hales fled the scene towards us, Hales turned at the very last moment to exchange a dark promise to the Arishok that spoke plainly: This will not go unpunished.

I yelled, "Hales!" and seeing my expression, all of us fled towards Lowtown. Along the streets, Hales and Aveline weaved elsewhere, taking another route. By the time Anders and I found them again, they appeared to be in deep discussion for a while already.

There were angry slashes along Hales' robes whilst Aveline's armour seemed a little worse for wear, dents appearing where they had not been only a few minutes previous. Apart from that, the two seemed fairly healthy, considering the circumstances.

I told Hales, "Thank the Maker you're alright. I was worried."

Aveline stated, "The Qunari are assaulting the city. And fast. The Arishok has planned this for who knows how long. We should head to the Keep to rally my guardsmen. Whatever happens, be careful."

The walk to the Viscount's Keep was long and unrelenting. Qunari seemed to be at every corner, impeding our way, attacking us with vigour whilst our energies began to fade. Towards the end, Hales began to lose focus. Exhausted by the overuse of her magic, she had barely any energy left to walk or run.

As one of the Qunari charged towards her in the Chantry courtyard, she foolishly stood her ground aiming spell after spell. She would not survive if his body slammed into hers and so, I grabbed her by the arms, shoving her behind me. From my force, I knew she probably fell. As the rest of us readied towards defeating the mage-like Qunari, it became unnecessary as a sword poked straight through his chest and he fell to the ground without a whimper.

A heavily armoured Templar with blonde hair narrowed her eyes at us. I recognized her. Knight-Commander Meredith. She offered a hand that pulled Hales to her feet. There was a shrewd, calculative look in her eye that warned me of trouble. Templar and apostates were not a good mix. Her first words were, "I know you. The name, Hawke, has turned up in my reports many times. Too many times."

Aveline seemed to breathe easier, "Its good we've found you."

Anders and I seemed to disagree through our mutually exchanged glances. Though we did not particularly like one another, there was now a grudging respect. With two apostate mages in our group, it seemed like the worst possible time.

Meredith continued, "The Qunari are taking people to the Keep and may already be in control. We will need to deal with them."

Hales shook her head, "Why are they taking hostages?"

Aveline supplied, "They're taking everyone important to kill or convert."

"Charming" was all Meredith offered.

Hales offered, "I am willing to do whatever it takes to defend my home but I am content in travelling in my own party."

"You think I'm a fool, do you? I saw you using magic." I cursed inwardly whilst Anders gave a cynical comment, "Uh oh. Here it comes."

Meredith raised a stern finger, "You have one chance and one chance only to prove yourself, apostate. Do not test me."

Hales' eyes turned deadly, yet another promise that Meredith would pay the ultimate price if she even dared to harm her but Meredith relented, "Head to the Keep. I'll see what remains of my men. These creatures will pay for this outrage."

As she walked away, Hales muttered, "Bitch."

Everyone looked to her in surprise. We had rarely heard her swear. She shook her head, "I guarantee you, that woman will cause trouble for us if she can."

A low groan caught our attention and Hales helped an elder mage to his feet.

"Many thanks, my friend." His voice was weak, gruff but still unyielding. Clearly, a good sign.

"You don't seem badly injured compared to the others." Hales commented though her voice was clearly distressed by all of the fallen mages around her.

"The others! Surely, they cannot all be." He surveyed the damage around him before his eyes lay upon a young woman's body.

"Andraste's Grace", he muttered as he reached her but Hales was the first to recognize the body.

"Bethany!" she rushed to her sister's side, cradling her body as the elderly mage healed her wounds.

A rush of breath came from Bethany and her eyes fluttered open.

"Hales?" Bethany murmured, still groggy from being unconscious.

"I'm here." Hales held her younger sister tightly, her hands soothing out Bethany's frazzled hair.

The young girl murmured, "I've missed you. I –"

Hales hushed her saying, "We'll talk later." She laid a kiss upon Bethany's forehead and slowly picked her up from the ground.

"First Enchanter Orsino. You survived." Meredith's voice rang through the courtyard.

"Your relief overwhelms me, Knight-Commander" replied Orsino, his voice taut with sarcasm.

"There is no time to talk. We must strike back before it is too late."

"And who will lead us into battle. You?" Orsino taunted.

"I will fight to defend this city as I have always done." Meredith was incredibly self-righteous, a quality that I'm sure most found irritating.

"To control it, you mean. I will not have our lives tossed to the flames to feed your vanity", Orsino argued. Meredith seemed very well used to giving orders and expecting them to be followed. My stomach dropped.

Hales exchanged glances with her sister and her ears twitched as if to say, "Seriously? This is what we're arguing about?"

Bethany shrugged her shoulders. Hales interrupted, "Let's not fight. As amusing as mage versus Templar is, we have bigger threats to deal with."

Orsino muttered, "Then perhaps you should lead us."

"What?" came Meredith's indignant squawk, "She isn't even of this city!"

"Neither am I, yet I don't hear you complaining that we are both trying to defend our home."

If looks could kill, Hales would have died a terrible death. Meredith was evidently threatened by Hales' presence and this did not bode well considering that she was the Knight-Commander who wielded a degree of control over Hales' mage status.

Meredith nodded, "Well whatever it is you plan, be quick about it."

Hales tilted her head in a fashion that was calculated to annoy but on face value, appeared to be acquiescent. It had the desired effect. Meredith stiffened and her fists clenched. What Meredith wouldn't give to run Hales through was a list that probably did not even exist.

As though unaffected, Hales stated, "Let's head to the Keep and see what we find first", and gestured for Meredith to lead the way.

As our group hung back, Bethany joined her sister. She commented, "I can't believe you still do that annoying head thing. And to the Knight-Commander? You do realize what she can do to you, right?"

Hales quipped, "And here I thought I was the only one who disliked her intensely. Sister dear, she can, for all intents and purposes, kiss my ass."

Anders chuckled under his breath and though I shot her a half-disapproving look, I know I ruined it by smiling. I was simply grateful that for a moment, we were all relatively unharmed.

* * *

><p>Meredith. What a bitch, right? Please R&amp;R!<br>Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	13. Twelve Spells and a Dagger

**Chapter 13: Twelve Spells and a Dagger**

At the Viscount's Keep, we found the Qunari in swarms, guarding the solid double doors. We hid by the side, out of their sight, discussing strategies.

Meredith said, "This is the only entrance. We must assault them before they can grow in numbers."

Anders and Hales exchanged glances and each quickly looked away to prevent from laughing. Grow in numbers? Did she expect the Qunari to instantaneously breed?

Orsino rebutted, "Are you mad? We need a distraction."

Hales agreed, "A direct assault is too risky."

Orsino gave a shadow of a smile, he was probably enjoying the perverse pleasure of annoying Meredith. "We'll need to get you inside. We'll catch up as soon as you can."

Meredith seemed unhappy to be overthrown in votes so many times in a day, "And just how do you plan on doing this?"

"Have confidence, Knight-Commander."

Orsino was a powerful mage, his control over the elements of fire and ice superseded even Hales' abilities and she was by no means, weak. With the Qunari intent upon defeating Orsino, our group snuck in easily.

The Keep was empty. Everyone was in the Throne Room. We interrupted just as the Viscount's head was thrown upon the carpet.

Hales stepped over the threshold and without faltering, she strode towards the Arishok, demanding, "We can still work this out."

"Perhaps. Prove yourself or kneel with your brethren."

Hales called to Anders, "Let's give them a cold farewell."

Four Qunari surrounded us but they had simply fallen into her trap. With Anders and she back to back, ice flitted and solidified around each of them, causing them to freeze into statues. With a half smirk, she motioned to the solid forms, "Aveline? Sebastian?"

Two were struck down by arrows straight through the eyes, the others sliced apart by Aveline's sword. The Arishok was highly disappointed but admittedly, impressed.

"You are basalit-an after all. Few in this city command such respect. Tell me, Hawke. You know I am denied Par Vollen until the Tome of Koslun is found. How do you see this conflict resolved without it?"

The doors bounced open. A Qunari fell through whilst Isabela made her entrance. She stepped upon the Qunari, "I believe, I can answer that." She exchanged a look with Hales before handing over the tome with a wry, "I'm sure you'll find it mostly undamaged."

As the Arishok contemplated the relic, Isabela explained to Hales, "It took a while to get back, what with the fighting everywhere. You know how it is."

Hales didn't smile but her eyes were filled with hope and warmth. One could not look into her eyes without understanding the amount of affection between the two friends. Even so, her tone was enough indication, "I thought you'd be long gone by now."

"This is your damned influence, Hawke. I was half-way to Ostwick before I realized I had to turn around. It's pathetic."

The Arishok addressed everyone, "The relic has been reclaimed. I am now free to return to Par Vollen. With the thief."

Isabela seemed shell-shocked, "What?"

"She stole the Tome of Koslun. She must return with us."

Hales shook her head, "Not negotiable."

The Arishok swung his axe threateningly, "Then you leave me no choice. I challenge you, Hawke. You and I will battle to the death with her as the prize."

And what a prize, I thought. Of all the things to fight over, Isabela? But I understood Hawke. Her loyalty to her friends was unwavering. Giving Isabela to the Qunari was not an option but to me, neither was Hales' adamant answer. She was going to get herself killed. Had I not watched fully trained Tevinter mages fall at the hands of the Qunari in the Foundry earlier tonight? And none could be compared to the Arishok's power.

Isabela protested, "No! If you want to duel anyone. Duel me!"

The Arishok denied her request, "You are not basalit-an. You are unworthy."

Hales pushed Isabela aside and answered, "I accept."

"No!" I whispered but the protest fell upon deaf ears. The Arishok roared, "So shall it be!"

Our group huddled around her as Hales walked to a nearby room for preparation. Isabela offered, "I'm sorry, pet. This wasn't…"

Hales waved her apologies aside, "Stop it. All I'm going to say is that you officially owe me drinks."

Varric laughed, "That's the spirit!" He was concerned but he didn't show it. I exchanged a stern glance with Varric and him knowing what I wanted, he shooed everyone out but Anders, me and Fenris. In the end, we were the closest.

Anders told her, "You can't do this. There's still time. Just leave!"

Fenris objected, "This is a matter of honour though I believe that you have been foolish in your decision, Valentha."

Hales turned to the window, watching the beginnings of another new day, "There was never another option. I must do this."

I shook her, "You fool! You will die. You are a mage, not a seasoned warrior capable of taking that much physical damage to your body!"

Breathlessly she murmured, "I understand all of your concerns but I need your faith right now."

Faith… had I not been a brother in the Chantry? Why did I find it so hard to summon faith?

I told her, "Make sure you stay out of his way when he charges. Don't make that same mistake as before."

She became irritated, "Duly noted, your Highness."

Fenris touched her arm briefly whilst Anders cradled her face. He whispered, "Don't do this. Please."

It was too intimate but I could not disallow Anders from finding his comfort. It would have been too cruel. She murmured, "I have to."

He pressed a kiss upon her temples and the three of us left Hales to her final preparations. Her voiced stopped us short, "Keep Bethany out of the Keep until I'm done."

Fenris and Anders assented. I did not. I was not going to leave Hales to deal with this alone.

It was the wrong time, the worst possible time but I dragged her to me and pressed our lips together. Need rushed through me and I tried to convey every struggle and conflict I felt into the kiss. I needed her alive. All this was worthless. Pointless. Isabela was not worth this! Not even the entire of Kirkwall was worth this. I understood what Grandfather meant – to love and to have love made you the richest man in the world.

She ripped herself from my grasp, her voice was taut from passion but also reprimand, "Sebastian! Of all the time to do this?"

Yes, it was the worst time chosen but I countered, "If you want to reprimand me, you'll have to wait till later. When you're done fighting the Arishok."

She shook her head, "You can't just go around kissing people! What about your vows?"

I tilted my head and sent her a slow smile, "I do remember you throwing yourself at said Chantry brother not too long ago." She looked discomfited by my words and I consoled her, "There are no vows. The vows I made, I broke three years ago. Elthina refused to readmit me with vows."

And with that, I pulled her to me by her belt and her arms were thrown around me in careless abandon, our tongues met and duelled, her body arched into mine as my hands wandered down her length. Maker, she made my head spin. As she suckled upon my bottom lip, a wave of tenderness enveloped me. This was what loving a woman was like… I gently lifted my head as she murmured, "We shouldn't be doing this."

I shrugged roguishly, "You want to settle out the score? You know where I'll be when you're done."

"You complicate my life." She stated, looking out the window.

"You enjoy it but if it is any consolation, you do the same to my life also." I desperately wanted to tell her how much I loved her. It was all but on the tip of my tongue but I could not. This wasn't the right time. Though I cynically thought that it never seemed to be the right time, I was determined to find one. The perfect one. One where her life was not about to end. I never thought it wise to blurt out last minute confessions as most humans did. It was not right.

I took out a sheathed dagger that I'd always kept with me. It had been fashioned by my Grandfather when he was younger, a blade of brightest Moon Steel with the face of the Maker emblazoned upon its golden hilt.

"I want you to take this with you." She turned to look at me and the outstretched dagger I offered.

Hales accepted it, her fingers moving along the blade and created face. She whispered softly, "It is the face of the Maker, no?"

I nodded, feeling a little embarrassed. I told her, "My Grandfather believed in the Maker. He felt that he saw the Maker's face in a dream and sought to recreate it. The face is a little vague, the features aren't distinct…" I remembered once telling my Grandfather the same, scoffing that the Maker's face would not be so characterless.

She smiled, "Everyone sees the Maker differently, His face is no different. Humans are imaginative creatures, we create a version that is entirely our own. If it was distinct, it would conflict with our own images, the Maker's face would not serve its purpose."

I cradled her face, stroking her cheeks gently, "I need to know that the Maker will watch over you."

Apparently, years of Chantry teachings still ran deep in my veins. It was comforting to know that though I was embracing my own individual personality, I still thoroughly believed in the Maker. My guilt dissipated. The Maker would not fault me for loving Hales when he led her to me.

"Sebastian…I can't take this… Your Grandfather..." her voice shook, overcome by emotion.

I gently took the dagger from her hands and tied it to her belt, "Will love you when he meets you one day."

She seemed surprised, "Your Grandfather is still… alive?" Feeling embarrassed, she rushed on, "I meant no offence, I just thought…"

I smiled, "Not now. If you want answers, we can talk later."

We walked back towards the Throne Room and before she took her stance, I told her, "Move out of his way when he charges. Wear him out."

With a nod, she squared her shoulders and moved to face the Arishok. Each took their stance and with a roar with the Arishok, the nightmare began.

Right from the start, she was outmatched. A mage could not sustain the kind of injury an axe would inflict but Hales had taken my advice, she stayed clear of him. When he charged, it was as though he could nothing but run in a straight line and she took advantage of that.

Charging towards her, she swept out of his line of fire sending bolts of lightening and streams of fire from her staff. Well, at first it was just her staff. After a while, it seemed as though her body was nature itself, turning from ice to fire to pure lightening. Outraged at being unable to land a blow, the Arishok roared, causing the general populace to cower in fear. Surely, that tiny slip of a mage could not defeat such an overpowering enemy?

Merrill watched beside me and counted her spells aloud, "That's her fireball. Chain lightening. Rock armour. That's good."

Rock armour enveloped Hales with an extra layer of protection. Boulders wrapped themselves around her body and as the Arishok landed his first blow, the damage to Hales seemed less severe.

As the Arishok prepared to charge, Hales sent a cone of cold to envelop him. It seemed to work for she seemed to have time to down a quick healing potion but all too quickly, the Arishok's strength seemed to cause the ice to crack and soon, he was out of his icy prison.

Merrill continued to count, "Fist of the Maker… she's really good at that. Look at that mark on the Arishok's armour!"

I wasn't sure whether her commentary irritated me or made me feel less uneasy about everything. Isabela fidgeted, watching with worried eyes as her hands gripped upon the nearby walls. Isabela told me, "Qunari are really hard to fight against. Especially for mages. It's like their blood naturally fights magic. None of the effects ever last long."

How could she allow Hales to walk into such a battle for her knowing that she might not survive? I couldn't help but hate the woman. The hatred grew as her words turned out to be true. Stone fist, petrify, fire storm, crushing prison… spell after spell ripped itself from Hales and I could tell that her energies were fading fast. She cast a spell that hastened her own speed and then healed her but it wasn't enough.

Not long after, he caught up with her and swinging a heavy blow, though Hales weaved, the back of his hand hit her body with such force that she lost control of her staff and fell to the ground in a heap. Blood spilled from her head and mouth. She tried to stand but wavered, collapsing upon the floor.

I watched helplessly as the Arishok picked up her staff and snapped it cleanly in half. This was it. That was the end. Around me our group readied their weapons, intent upon killing the Arishok even at the price of dishonour but apparently, Hales had not run out of ideas.

Using the last of her strength, she bought her palms up to the ceiling summoning a twister of wind and ice to appear in the room. The room gasped. I think, even the Arishok had paused to watch the impressive display.

Shards of ice whistled through the air to embed into his skin and he gave an angry cry of pain. He was momentarily blinded by the ice, his skin being torn off piece by piece but he still fought against the twister. He swung at the ice, sending frissons of broken ice and water everywhere and threw his axe into the whirlwind of nature. It was foolish. How could one fight against wind? It seemed ironic considering what the Arishok had once said.

Then the twister slowly cleared. Hales slumped, her eyes seemed resigned. She had no more strength. No more mana. No more. The Arishok turned his eyes upon her, dark and malevolent and though he no longer had his axe, he seemed intent on killing her with his bare hands. Skin and sinew were torn from his body and I was certain that at one particular angle, I saw a glimmer of beige bone.

"No!" I yelled, "Move!"

She heard. I know she did. There was a resigned smile, a wistful longing look upon her face.

Then he charged. The scene suddenly seemed slow but too fast at the same time. Our group raced out to Hales. He was already charging. I had no hope of reaching her in time. Then I watched as, with a deadly accuracy that no mage should ever possess, a glint of silver was flung from her hand and embedded firmly into the Arishok's chest.

I heard my heart beat once, twice and it was only a second, a fraction of a single moment but suddenly, the Arishok stopped. He faltered, stumbled, touched his chest with an expression of curious disbelief and then fell upon his knees.

So stunned by incredulity, it took a while before everyone began to understand what actually occurred. Then the dagger gleamed in the light as the Arishok fell upon his back, clutching at his heart. As he gasped for breath, he threatened uselessly, "One day, we shall return."

With that, the Qunari left. All of them, without struggle, without any sort of adverse backlash. A Qunari tilted his head and all walked out of the Keep as though nothing had occurred at all. They seemed to accept that the duel had been won and there was no point staying any longer.

Hales lay battered and broken on the floor just as Meredith, Orsino and a small handful of guard came in along with Anders, Fenris and Bethany. I ran to her.

"Is it over?" Meredith seemed surprise.

As I lifted Hales to her feet, she struggled to balance and leaned upon me for support. My arms went to her waist as she weakly stated, "It's over."

As the nobles of Kirkwall cheered in happiness, claiming Hales to be the 'Champion of Kirkwall', we all ignored the crowd. What use was such a title if she did not survive? I lifted her body to the stairs of the Throne Room, allowing her sit down. Bethany held onto her hand as Anders healed her wounds, pouring vial after vial of healing potion down her throat.

Anders commented, "This is happening way too often."

Hales seemed to be alright, charming enough to say to Bethany, "Hey there, pretty girl. Why are you crying?"

Bethany smacked her leg, "You idiot! You nearly died! And you had Fenris and Anders blocking me in."

Hales chuckled and then grimaced in pain but managed to choke out, "Having a younger sibling watch you get beaten up is really bad for ego."

Nobody seemed too amused by the comment but was too relieved to reprimand her for her lack of caution and general foolishness.

"I need sleep" came Hales as she closed her eyes. Anders warned her as he touched the back of her head, revealing a hand covered in blood, "You can't sleep for long. You've taken a rather large blow to the head. You'll need to have someone wake you frequently to make sure you don't slip into unending sleep."

There was another yawn and before she fell asleep, she muttered, "Won't sleep. Have to get dagger. Buy new staff."

Not to mention a new robe, I added to myself. I left her briefly to obtain my dagger. It came out of the dead Arishok's chest with a quick pull. Surprisingly, the blade was not even covered by blood. I thanked the Maker quickly in prayer.

"Maker, thank you for watching over her and coming to her aid."

I tied the dagger back onto her belt. It belonged to her now. Without further ado, we all left for Hawke Estate.

Meredith watched us leave with burning eyes and I couldn't help but feel as though she was hoping that Hales would not survive the night.

* * *

><p>Yeah, I still don't like Meredith. Do you? Please R&amp;R!<p>

Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	14. Two Weeks to Recover

**Chapter 14: Two Weeks to Recover**

As I gently placed Hales upon her bed, Bethany and Oranna took over, pushing me out of the door. Though I protested, Bethany exclaimed, "She needs to be cleaned! We'll make sure we wake her up! Maker!"

It was obvious that Bethany had recovered some of her bravado. Dissatisfied, I waited outside her bedroom along with everyone else.

Fenris asked, "What happened after we left?"

Merrill piped up, "Hawke saved everyone! She was really good. It was all very exciting."

Fenris snarled, "I know of that, witch. I am asking for specifics!"

Smiling to Merrill in comfort, Isabela patted her on the head before replying, "She just evaded him as much as possible, sent spells his way as much as she could. It was mostly normal Hawke stuff until she did this thing…"

Aveline echoed her sentiment, "I don't think I've ever seen that before."

Irritated, Anders snapped, "Yes, now if we could get onto what that thing actually was?"

I supplied, "She used magic. Without her staff. She created a whirlwind of ice, a vortex, and aimed it at the Arishok."

Fenris' eyes narrowed, "It seems that Valentha is more talented than we gave her credit."

Furious, Anders exclaimed, "This isn't supposed to be a good thing! There's a reason why mages uses a staff. Staves are supposed to focus the energy to lineate the power from within to become power from without. Mages who can legitimately use magic without staffs are few and far between because to do so can cause a lot of lasting damage to her mental and physical form!"

Everyone blanched at his tirade. The slow relief that had gradually seeped into the group suddenly disappeared. I ordered, "Tell me what lasting damage!"

"She can become stuck in the Fade, unable to leave because she overexerted her powers so much that she becomes a part spirit! And that's the best one can hope for." He turned towards the bedroom door, intent upon assessing Hales' damage.

Bethany's voice rang out, "Hales has been cleaned. I woke her up and she seems to be in relatively good shape. I wouldn't worry too much about her not using a staff. She's had plenty of practice before."

Varric reiterated, "Wait a moment, sunshine. You're saying that this is a common occurrence for her?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "I wouldn't call it common but our father had trained us before in using some magic without the assistance of a staff. He was very careful of course and told us never to advertise such skill but I suppose, my sister didn't have much of a choice in the matter."

I shook my head, "You weren't there, Bethany. The Arishok snapped her staff in half like it was a brittle twig."

Anders commented, "That's quite dangerous, you realize. She created a whirlwind. That takes a lot of energy."

Bethany offered, "I think she is alright, just tired and shaken. Being an apostate for so long, our father taught us a great deal many things. Hales, being the quick learner she is, picked up a lot of spells, skills and talents that you wouldn't expect a normal mage to have. When we first got to Kirkwall, she taught me some of the harder things too but since I was initiated…"

There was a knock at the door. Bodahn opened the door to reveal First Enchanter Orsino.

He greeted each of us and asked about Hales' welfare, "She is going to fine, I hope?"

Anders gave a non-committal shrug, "I'm intending on doing a full assessment. It seems that she should be alright."

"That is good. I heard about her interesting abilities. Knowing the problems that could come of it, I thought to bring this." He revealed a small vial of bubbly, lavender liquid.

Anders seemed to recognize it straight away and gasped, "Are you supposed to have that? Such a potion is forbidden in the Circle!"

Orsino shrugged, "It is a useful potion that causes no harm."

Bethany inquired, "What does it do?"

He explained, "It allows the user to sleep freely without being pulled into the Fade. I'm not sure whether she needs it but perhaps, it is best to err on the side of safety."

The vial was passed to Oranna who went into the room with Anders to administer the potion. Bethany then pleaded, "Please, First Enchanter, let me stay here. I want to –"

Orsino waved her off telling her, "Stay here. Now that your sister is the Champion of Kirkwall, I'm sure it will be best if you spend your nights here. You'll still have to return to the Gallows for classes and the like but in the name of safety, I'm going to send in an application such that you can live with your sister. I'll have someone send with your things."

Bethany was overjoyed, "Thank you", she gushed repeatedly. Orsino left soon after, allowing all of us to simply wait.

When Anders returned, we rushed towards him with a gush of questions. If there was anyone who could save Hales, it was Anders. He told us, "There's good news and there's bad news."

We nodded for him to continue, "Good news is she'll be fine. I did a full assessment of her body and it seems that she will make a full recovery. Her injuries, no matter how severe they seemed, are not internal injuries. However, said full recovery may take days or even weeks, there is no way of telling how long it'll take for her to do even simply things like standing. She's also overexerted her magic, Justice is of the opinion that she may go through all sorts of physical traumas. Fever, rashes, lung constriction, we'll have to keep an eye out on her. Things will get a lot worse before they get better and if we're not careful during the time things get bad, well…"

Bethany broke down into tears. The young girl was like an emotional mess, she spiked into joyful and fell into worry. It unnerved me. Oranna returned from the bedroom and after a quick curtsy, she said meekly, "Mistress is now dressed."

Anders muttered a 'thank you' as I grimaced. Had Anders removed her clothes? How could he take advantage of her body when she was incapacitated? That was indecent!

Oranna continued, "I will be in the kitchen, should anyone need me."

Merrill seemed delighted, "Oh, let me join you." As we all looked at her in disbelief, she shrugged. She said naively, "Anders said she'll make a full recovery. We'll keep an eye on her. I think she'd appreciate the nice aromas of good cooking."

Merrill began to cook with Oranna, smells of herbs and bread wafting through the air. Everyone took up some duty or another around the house. It was unnecessary but useful in distracting the sombre air of the house.

Varric and Isabela went to the library, intent upon rearranging or writing new books to entertain Hales later on. Fenris and Aveline went to repair the chandelier. Before Anders left, I grabbed his arm.

It was such a small petty thing but I needed to know, "Oranna needed to dress Hales. What did you do?"

Disgusted by me, he spat out, "Yes, Sebastian. I went off and decided to molest Hales while she was lying there, pale and sick!" He shoved me away, "You're standing there riven with jealousy whilst I'm trying to save her life! What kind of person are you?"

He was right of course. I had been thinking of Anders as my competitor, not as a healer. I quickly apologized, "I'm sorry. That was wrong of me. I was not thinking."

Anders was annoyed but after a moment, he shook his head, "This is pointless. She's lying on her deathbed and we're fighting like children over her."

I nodded and he continued, "I love her and all I want is for her to be happy, whether that is with me or you. Though I am incredibly jealous of her affection for you, I can understand and appreciate that you love her too. So, let's just stop. Hawke will make her pick and no matter what, we'll be there for her."

I told him, "You are right about everything but one. She holds affection for you as well. She loves you." I was certain of that. Hales loved everyone in our group. She held her loyalty to her family. We were her family.

A wistful smile came over his face and we descended the stairs to clean off any bloodstains that Hales had left. As I worked, I often glanced at the boxes of unopened goods, wanting desperately to reveal its secrets. Turning it around, I found a strange seal. It was oddly familiar, the red flag and stamp yet I could not name the city or country.

Anders supplied, "She was in Ferelden."

"What was she doing there? I know Lothering was her old home but…"

He tickled the kitten in his lap, which stared up at me for a moment, its mossy green eyes bright in the firelight, before shrugging, "I could tell you but I think you should just ask her when she wakes up."

I told him, "And you think she holds no affection for you. You are the one who holds her secrets."

He smiled, "I have no doubt she loves me but I'm still a man. I want to love her as a lover does. Besides, everyone holds a secret of hers. It's her way of letting us know we're her closest."

I went upstairs, not wanting to leave Hales alone. She was covered by silk sheets and blankets, her long hair splayed out over her pillow. I stroked the tresses lovingly; I had a weakness for such luxuriously feminine hair.

Relief washed over me. It was delayed by trying to save her life, keeping her awake, carrying her to her house and trying to ascertain damage with the group. I had time to think then. Tears welled up in my eyes. I could have lost her. Again. Had I not sworn she would know of my feelings? Why had it taken me so long?

I whispered to her, "You shouldn't take such risks. I can't go through life without you." I caressed her cheeks and she mewled softly, arching into my touch. The blankets dropped a little, revealing soft, pastel pink silk. It was so innocent a colour yet it reminded me of something very seductive. It was like a promise, a teasing piece of bait that lured me in. I pulled the blanket up to her neck and allowed her to rest.

I looked around her room, smiling at the crumpled towel on the floor and the cluttered notes that were on her desk. My eyes strayed back to her face. She was so pale, she seemed so fragile but remembering how strong she had been in battle, I felt my jaw tighten. I paced in her room, looking at the dagger that lay at her bedside table. Lifting it, the Maker's face seemed to smile, the hilt glinting in the morning light.

Every hour, I would wake her, looking into her eyes to make sure her pupils dilated properly before allowing her to rest. My hands were constantly upon her hands and face, stroking and caressing.

Each time, she smiled at me and softly called my name. It was intimate, the way a lover would sigh in sleep. Though it had been long, I had never forgotten what a lover sounded like. Hales would never say my name that way if she'd been aware that she was not in a dream. That made my heart clench tightly. There was a part of her that I had not yet touched. My entire body ached and I clasped my fists to fight the feeling away. Heartache… I needed her walls to come down.

Each time I woke her, she arched into me for more. Each time I looked into her eyes, her smile became all the more intimate. Each time I told her to rest and sleep, she would cling all the more. Each time, it became harder to pull away. I sat upon her bed, brushing her cheeks, caressing her neck, tracing her the line of her jaw until unable to resist, my lips found hers.

It was a full day and a half before Anders had given her another assessment of her injuries, declaring that she would no longer need to be woken up every hour. The bump upon her head had decreased dramatically in size under his watchful care and he told everyone that her body simply needed rest.

Everyone seemed to congregate at the Estate everyday. It was a silent consensus that we would stay in the house as much as possible until Hales was recovered. Though everyone left at night to sleep at their own homes, most would be back at various times the next day.

I was loath to leave her at night but it wasn't right to lie in her bed. Though temptation had overcome me more than once and I often lay beside her, stroking her bare shoulder, I never stayed the night. I wanted our first night together to be at her request.

When I lay beside her, I would bury my face into her neck, inhale her sweet and unique scent. She smelt floral and sweet but something altogether spicy, tempting and thoroughly addictive. Her scent made my body throb but I endured. Maker, how I endured.

Flowers, gifts and numerous letters came for the new Champion of Kirkwall, thanking and praising her for her bravery a few days later. That's when Hales started having problems. She had not woken for days. She was asleep, constantly asleep.

Fever. Her body steamed and heated up like a furnace. When I got to the Estate, Bodahn told me that Bethany had run off for Anders. He arrived with bags of medicine, herbs and vials of potions. As Anders examined Hales, Bethany ran to the Hanged Man, bringing back Isabela, Varric and bags of ice.

Isabela surrounded Hales' body with ice, trying to keep her body cool to limit the amount of damage heat could do to her fragile body. Everyone in our group slowly appeared one by one.

Anders told me, "I'll brew a potion for her that should hopefully make her sweat, causing the heat to dissipate. That'll take a few hours and hopefully, the Hanged Man will have enough ice to keep her cool."

I asked, "Can't you use magic? That ice cone thing seems useful."

He shook his head, "It's not a spell that can last very long. A few minutes at the most. What I am worried about is her not being able to eat. When she got back to Kirkwall, she'd lost weight but that was only some days ago. She hasn't had anything in her stomach. If she doesn't wake up soon, her stomach will begin to eat itself."

Isabela tutted, "Leave that to me."

Fenris growled, "And what exactly are you going to do? Chew food and then spit into her mouth?"

Everyone grimaced at his suggestion. Merrill cried out needlessly, "I don't think Hawke would appreciate that too much."

Isabela rolled her eyes, "It's called broth. Boil enough food in water and the water will be good for her. It'll be like food that someone could trickle down her throat. I am _not_ doing that but I don't mind making it."

Aveline snorted, "This is your fault. Of course, you should do it."

I sensed an argument arising and I interrupted, "Let's not fight. Let's just gather whatever is necessary and make sure Hales comes through."

Anders and Bethany left for the kitchen to begin brewing potions whilst Oranna promised to stay by Hales. The rest of us left for Hightown Market. I loathed to leave her side but Varric insisted that I take a breath of fresh air and so, I left with them.

Merrill and Isabela busied themselves at the food stalls, picking out fruits and vegetables that would be necessary. Isabela spared no expense and I had to smile at her determination. It was obvious that Isabela, no matter how wanton she behaved, had a good heart. She would not want Hales to be unwell, especially not because of her thievery.

I told her, "I really appreciate you doing all this. Thank you."

There was a flicker of sadness upon her face before she quipped, "Can't have the Champion of Kirkwall dying on us now, can we?" It lacked her usual charm but I just nodded.

Merrill smiled up to me as Isabela bought pieces of meat, "You love Hawke."

I stuttered for a moment, was I that obvious? I didn't want to deny my love but neither was I entirely willing to discuss it when I had not done so with Hales. Isabela shot me a look before answering, "Yes, he does but he needs to do some talking with Hawke first, pet."

Merrill wrinkled her nose, "What's there to talk about? She loves him. He loves her. Done."

Isabela chuckled under her breath and I could not help but smile. Fenris and Varric joined us with a bottle of something labelled 'Fire-Whiskey' tucked in his hand.

I gestured to the bottle and Varric explained, "Its dwarven whiskey. A small glass of this and she'll be right as rain. It is for dwarves though so Rivaini can put it in her broth and let it stew for a while so the alcohol comes out."

As we passed some merchants, my eyes passed over a stall that sold robes and weapons for mages. I stopped and Isabela encouraged, "Go and pick something for her. I think that'll really make her happy."

A staff of pure onyx caught my eye. It was, at the very least, as tall as Hales was. It was long, slim and incredibly light considering its size. Up the top was a set of claws that help a bright blue crystal that seemed to have flames of fire burning within it. I found it fitting. Was Hales not a warm fire within a very cold world? Without hesitation, I bought it.

Aveline commented, "We should get her some robes. I've seen the set the nobles want to present to Hawke. It isn't pretty. I guarantee you she won't wear it."

Curious, Merrill asked, "What does it look like?"

Aveline shook her head, "It's just very odd with odd blue fur and this odd chest piece that pokes out. Hawke won't wear it. It's too…"

Isabela sniggered, "If you think its ugly, Hawke won't wear it. She's very conscious about this kind of stuff."

I blushed, "I'm not sure what she'd like, really. I know she likes robes and dresses. Floaty materials that bare her shoulders but this is for protection, I don't like how much skin she's showing." Realizing what I said, I stuttered, "As in, showing skin isn't a good idea in front of enemies. It's an area of weakness!"

Varric coughed behind his hand whilst everyone else snickered at me. Isabela patted my shoulder, "You know her better than you think."

I browsed through the rack of robes until a magnificent piece caught my eye. Robes of bright scarlet and grey with bright gold trimmings and light shoulder plates that gleamed in the sunlight. I stroked the black fur trim near the thigh area and without another thought bought it. As the merchant wrapped the pieces, the others exchanged knowing smiles and looks.

Unable to take their scrutiny, I asked, "What?"

Merrill was the only one who answered, "You love Hawke. You know her really well. It's very sweet. When will you marry and have children?"

With everything bought, we went back to the house to prepare for Hales' awakening. Isabela began boiling the broth and the rest of us cleared out of the kitchen. Aveline excused herself, she had duties as Captain after all.

The potion was soon readied and Anders administered the bubbling solution straight away. I watched from the door, watching Bethany and Anders heal Hales slowly. The ice had melted into cool water in bags and Oranna rushed to empty them. Before too long, Hales began to cool down. I did not touch her, not wanting to affect her in any way but I did continue sitting with her, watching her face as she twisted and turned in sleep. She murmured often from the discomfort.

She woke up just as Isabela finished making her broth. Her eyes slowly fluttered and she began to murmur. I whispered to her, "Hales?"

"Mmm…Sebastian…" she was waking! I was so relieved. She hadn't gone through lung constrictions or rashes or anything else Anders had neglected to mention.

"I'm here. I'm right here, sweetheart. Open those beautiful eyes for me."

A smile, weak but present. It was a secret smile, a soft and gentle smile that was both intimate and warm. A lover's smile. Her eyes opened slowly before whispering, "Hey…"

"Morning, beautiful", I replied, brushing stray locks from her eyes.

Isabela interrupted, opening the door with a bowlful of broth. "Alright, I have it! Whose shoving this down her throat?"

A child-like giggle echoed from Hales and everyone yelled, "Hawke!" or "Hales!" or "You're awake!"

Isabela seemed very happy for she said, "You must eat! Or drink!"

Hales yawned widely before trying to sit up. I was with her in an instant, supporting her weight as Bethany propped her pillows. Everyone sat on her bed. Even Widge seemed to know his mistress was awake and had flopped onto the foot of the bed.

Hales scratched her Mabari behind the ears before saying, "I'm so tired… so tired."

Anders told her, "It'll take time to restore your health and energy. What you did… well, you probably don't want to try it again."

She slumped against her pillows and smiled, "I won't. I don't normally do that."

Bethany took the bowl from Isabela and began feeding her spoonfuls of soup. Hales sipped obediently. While she ate, all of us stayed very quiet, watching her cautiously. We followed her every sip, taking gasps of breath when she choked. It seemed that intense worry was consistent throughout the group and we were all relieved that she was awake but also prepared for the worst.

When Hales finished, she said, "Thank you all for looking after me. I really appreciate the effort. I'm alright now, though. You needn't worry so much."

She then turned to Bethany, "Not that I'm complaining but…what are you doing here?"

Bethany laughed, "First Enchanter is letting me live with you. I still have to go to classes and stuff but he's giving me a week to look after you and letting me spend my nights here."

Hales lifted one arm, allowing Bethany to curl up with her. The blankets slipped from Hales' body revealing her a nightdress that left very little to the imagination. Anders' eyes appraised her body openly, clearly staring at the small swells of her breast. I had to admit that I had been doing the same. I was only a man after all.

Everyone slipped into comfortable conversation. Merrill said, "You have many gifts, Hawke. Many admirers have sent you letters and gifts."

Varric added, "You're going to become even richer than before just selling the junk."

We had left the presents in her room and I pointed to the ever growing pile of letters and gifts. My gift was upon her chair where her robes were draped.

Hales offered, "I have a little energy left. Let's go through it and distribute."

It was worrying to see how little energy she had. Her arms seemed like lead and often, we had to open the presents for her. Fenris, who had progressed admirably in his ability to read, had read most of the letters, going through notes from suitors wishing to meet her to official letters of invites to various noble parties in the city.

Hales groaned, "I love a good party but this is just too much. I don't know half these people."

Isabela shrugged, "Just do something scandalizing like have sex on the dance floor."

Wryly, Hales replied, "Wonderful. They can call me the Champion Slut of Kirkwall."

We shared a laugh over that. Gifts of wine were the most popular which Hales distributed amongst us. Daggers were another favourite due to the way the Arishok had been killed. They were also given to us, leaving nothing for herself.

I asked her, "Don't you want to keep one? It's rather handy."

She smiled at me, "You forget that I already have one." It was another intimate smile, like a secret that was shared only for us. I revelled in the brief moment of excluding the others. The moment was broken however, when Fenris read out an officious letter.

"To the Champion of Kirkwall,

You are cordially invited to the presentation of your rewards. Please write back when you are available such that a party can be planned in your honour.

Thank you,

Seneschal Bran"

Hales laughed, "Oh Maker. Please tell me you're joking."

Isabela grinned, "Oh, it's no joke. Apparently, your reward is some hideous robe that Aveline's seen."

The look of disgust that crossed Hales' face was comical. "I am _not_ wearing something like that. You couldn't pay me enough to wear something even Aveline finds ugly. No serrah, not going to happen."

Fenris then opened another letter and chuckled, "This is an interesting letter, Hawke. Listen to this:

To Lady Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall,

I have heard of your beauty, skills and talent and would be most honoured and grateful for your time. I hear that you are resting and recuperating from what appears to be a most life-endangering battle however, I would be greatly indebted to you if you would join me in discussing a potential match.

I look forward to meeting you in person,

Prince Goran Vael of Starkhaven"

I ripped the letter from Fenris' hands and reread it. I snarled, "What! He thinks to. Ugh! The arrogance. The simpleton thinks himself worthy!"

Angered by the audacity of my cousin to pursue _my_ woman, I scrunched the letter and threw it into Hales' fireplace, watching it burn to ash.

Her voice calmed me, "Sebastian…do you really think I'm about to marry someone I don't love?"

My face twisted into an ugly expression, "This is not about love. It is merely a transaction to establish a firm hold. I assure you that Goran Vael _does not_ love you!" She winced at my tone, hurt by what I was saying. She did not deserve my outburst. I tried to explain, "I've known Goran all my life. He is simple but not very open or accepting of others." Especially not mages, I thought to myself. Nobles were well known for their dislike for magic in their bloodlines. It seemed to diminish them, somehow.

I sighed, feeling ashamed of myself and apologized, "I'm sorry, it was unexpected. Please don't feel as though you're not deserving of love."

There was a chuckle from her, a very tired sound, "I am too far away from even walking out of this room. Any people of import will simply have to wait. I am in no hurry to receive ugly robes _or_ to marry some Prince I don't know or love."

The group exchanged looks with me. They all knew of my decision to reclaim Starkhaven. They knew of my decision to be Prince. What Hales said, though not in reference to me, struck a chord a little too close to home but the conversation would have to wait. Hales did not have any energy to listen.

She shimmied underneath the blankets, her eyes already half closed. She murmured, "You guys should go and do stuff. There's nothing entertaining about watching me sleep. I'm sure I'm really boring."

Most patted her on the head or hand before leaving. Isabela whispered, "Thank you, Hawke" in her ear before leaving. Anders and Bethany both dropped kisses at her temple whilst Merrill waved. I brushed a kiss upon her lips and she murmured something unintelligible. I told her, "Sleep. We'll talk when you're better. Goodnight, Hales."

It was late. I had no choice but to return to the Chantry.

Our conversations would have to wait.

Just until she got better, I promised.

* * *

><p>Sebastian is really reaching the end of his control. Something will have to give soon. R&amp;R!<br>Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	15. Fifteen Minutes of Sinful Seduction

**Chapter 15: Fifteen Minutes of Sinful Seduction**

I spent much time over the next week with Flora, trying to arrange for my ascension to the throne. I told her about Goran's plan to marry Hales and she laughed, "It is not so unsurprising. Hawke would give him a firm hold upon Starkhaven with such a strong alliance to Kirkwall. Everyone looks to her now. Now that she is Champion, she will have a huge part to play between mage and Templar. Goran is, for once, planning ahead."

I grimaced at her but she comforted me, "Unless Goran is suave enough to sweep Hawke off her feet, it seems unlikely that she will fall for him. She would sooner be on your arm than his."

I tried to convince her, "This is not about vying for a lady's attention, this is about –"

Flora shook her head at me, "We have been friends for all of our lives. You think I do not know when you are in a jealous frenzy, ready to slaughter Goran for even his slight transgression upon _your_ territory? This is not about Starkhaven. This is about Hawke. Although, who Hawke chooses has a large impact upon who sits upon the throne, this is simply a by-product to you."

I was a little flustered by how clearly she read me but I tried to shrug it off. I visited Hales daily but every time I called upon her, she was asleep. I couldn't help an odd feeling grow over me; Hales was pretending to sleep every time I came around. Her sister didn't particularly help my sense of wariness, Bethany seemed to always distract me or ask me to escort her to particular places for unproductive causes. And then there were the boxes of previously unpacked goods which were now open and gone.

One such day, I decided to ask her about it whilst she was distracted in her task of choosing fruits, "Is Hales recovering?"

Bethany was evidently still young; unaware that I was attempting to outmanoeuvre her as she answered naturally, "She's gaining in her strength. At first, she needed constant naps but now, she's often walking around the house with less sleep time. Hales actually managed to take a short walk into town today."

I told her, "That's good. I was worried about her. She disappeared without a word, came back looking a little worse for wear, then the Arishok thing happened and I have to wonder, is she really alright?"

Bethany hummed at the back of her throat so I questioned, "I see the boxes from Ferelden are all packed up?"

Bethany smiled, "She told you about the trip to Ferelden, did she?" Actually Hales hadn't but I made a non-committal sound hoping Bethany would continue. "I think that trip did a lot of good. She found our old house. Some of our own possessions were still undamaged despite the wreckage. That and Hales knows Lady Cousland, or rather the Queen of Ferelden. She had some time to really lean on a friend, for once."

I felt offended. What were we as her companions? Chopped liver? Bethany consoled me, "Don't be upset. Hales simply feels guilty for leaning on the people who look up to her. It's a big burden to carry, leading everyone and making sure no one fights. I think it really wears on her sometimes."

So Hales knew the Queen of Ferelden, did she? I had heard of Lady Cousland. Her family had been murdered just prior to her becoming a Grey Warden. She had then met Alistair, who became King Alistair and married after the defeat of the Blight.

Hoping to squeeze more information, I told Bethany, "I'm worried. From what Anders thought, Hales really overexerted. She's never awake. I just hope…"

I trailed off, hoping the girl would continue without thinking. To my relief, she comforted me, "Hales actually spends many hours awake, she's started to reply to her letters. She wrote to Feynriel and to Seneschal Bran. The party's going to be pretty soon from what I hear."

I asked her curiously, as though naturally going along with the topic, "So she'll need a new dress?"

Bethany laughed at me, "She'll be shopping tomorrow from morning till night, I expect. Don't worry so much, Sebastian. You'll get wrinkles from frowning so much."

I turned the girl towards me and asked accusingly, "So she will not be asleep tomorrow when I get there as she has been doing?"

The girl stuttered, trying to work out a suitable excuse. As I stared at her, she eventually stumbled out, "She'll still need cat-naps. She's having a lot of those. Just half an hour here and there."

I tried to maintain my peace and calm before suggesting, "It is best that you don't lie for your sister. That is a sin. She is avoiding me."

Bethany fidgeted under my gaze before she sighed out, "My sister is…confused."

I nodded, "There is much for she and I to talk about. We have scores to settle as we previously agreed."

She chastised herself, "I am such a bad sister. I should have known you would try and weasel answers!"

I shook my head, "It is not your fault. Do not blame yourself. What I would appreciate though is a little advice and information."

After a moment's hesitation, she offered, "She is confused about how you feel about her. I suggest that you tread lightly. Give her time and be patient. Hales isn't as strong as she seems, she's just had to put on a brave face to look after everyone. She's… a little afraid of you."

I was shocked, "Why?" I blurted, "Surely, she knows I mean her no harm."

"It's complicated", she began with a wave of her hands, "she trusts you and the entire group with her life. We're all family, as she says. She even trusts all of you with most of her heart, she knows that none of you will intentionally hurt her or backstab her but for you… she's afraid to give the remaining piece. It's the only piece of her that belongs to her. What if you decide she's not what you want? I think she'd rather never start things than risk being hurt."

I understood. Though I felt that Hales was a bit of a coward, she had lost much in life. Was it too much to ask that she didn't lose herself, too?

Seeing my pensive face, Bethany supplied, "You have the ability to shake her world, annihilate it, change it; did you really think she'd just allow you to waltz in and do just that?"

I replied, "I don't expect her to lower her guard easily but I do intend on doing just that anyway." I was going to shake her world upside down until there was a place for me in it. I would pursue until she could not think about living without the thought of me being wholly combined. I would seduce until she could not love anyone else but me. Most of all though, I would love until she would give me her surrender; every little fibre of her heart belonging to me and only me and I would reciprocate the favour.

Bethany became quiet after that, her face painted with a mournful expression. Did she think I was going to hurt her sister? I placed my hand upon her shoulder as we arrived at the estate, I tried to reassure her, "I will not hurt her. I just want to be with her."

Bethany smiled in relief, "Oh, that's alright then. Good, I'm rooting for you. She needs you. She certainly loves you. I think you should corner her the night of the party. Dance with her, court her… all that kind of thing."

I knew very well what the girl meant. This called for some of my prior experiences. The rake inside me took over. Hales wouldn't know what hit her until too late. I'd have swept her off her feet and she'd be too reluctant to leave my arms.

Bethany revealed, "She's written back to your cousin."

I looked at her, a little aggravated, "When? What did she say?"

She shrugged, "She was polite. She just said that she was happy to meet with Goran Vael –"

"She said, what!" I yelled out in the market. Bystanders stopped to stare at me.

Bethany gave a light giggle, "Hold on. Let me tell you the rest. She also declined his match."

The weight did not lift from my shoulders. I groaned out, "I am happy that she's declined his match but the fact that she's agreed to meet him does not bode well."

It truly did not. Princes never enjoyed being denied anything, myself included. If Hales declined his match but agreed to meet him, it would mean Goran would attempt some idiotic move to blackmail or seduce Hales into submission. Both would not work, of course. I refused to let that happen.

She gave a wry response, "Then you'd best hurry."

As I opened the Hawke Estate door, I allowed Bethany to go inside and I asked, "Is she awake now?"

Bethany stated loudly, for Hales' benefit, "No, she's not" before whispering to me, "She doesn't need sleep anymore but she does need to take it slowly. Any magic and she's on the floor in a minute."

I nodded and started upstairs, saying to Bethany for Hales' benefit, "I just want to see her. I shan't be long."

As I opened the door, I found a bath set up, wet footprints leading to the bed and a towel thrown carelessly upon the floor. Hales was in her bed, with the sheets over her body. When Hales was asleep, her breaths were even and slow, each breath consistently deep. As she lay there, her breaths were even but not slow. They were too fast paced. It was obvious that she had heard our voices, panicked, dried herself and then jumped into bed without ceremony.

My fingers tested the water. Yes, still very warm. Coward, I thought to myself. Who would have thought that the woman who readily faced the Arishok would flee at love? I felt myself grin, if Hales had just left the tub, she was probably naked. No reason not to torture her a little, now.

There was no blanket, just a thin, silk sheet. I could clearly see her form from beneath, the extension of her legs, the curve of her buttocks, the slight arch of her back. The sheet was wrapped around her breasts, exposing her arms.

I reached out with a deft but rough fingertip, tracing from elbow to neck and then lowering my lips to her shoulder. My voice dropped, leaving it smooth but husky and I whispered into her skin, "So beautiful…"

I heard her breath hitch ever so subtly before she pretended to roll over on her stomach in her sleep, leaning away from me as though she had been irritated by a disturbance of her sleep. It only left her in an even more vulnerable position. The silk sheet gave way, sliding half-way down her back towards her hips. It was a relief to see her figure fuller than before, looking slightly healthier. Her wavy hair lay over her neck and the top-half of her back and so, I gently brushed it away. My hands traced down her spine and she shivered in response, a soft mewl torn from her lips.

I smirked. Interesting… the spine was always a playground but apparently, this was doubly so for her. I gently eased my weight upon the bed, revelling in the softness of her skin.

I murmured, half to myself and the other half to her, "Maker… so soft… ", my lips touched her neck as I continued, "What I wouldn't do to touch you everywhere", I risked the tip of my tongue just caressing the pulse at the bottom of her neck, "what I wouldn't do to make love to you."

Her body shifted, unable to resist. It was reflexive; she could not restrain her body from reacting as it did. My hands became bolder, travelling to the curves of her buttocks, my fingers caressing her skin over the silk. I could clearly see her biting on her lips, trying to refrain from crying out. Good, she was responsive. I would enjoy that.

My fingers travelled to her ankles and then back up again, tracing this time on the insides of her legs. At her knee, I dragged back down to her calves. Then my hands slipped up higher, towards her thigh and then back down. Up and down I went, each time getting just a little closer to the apex. Her hips rolled and I knew she wanted me. I stopped.

I would drive her insane with want but I would do it slowly. I wanted every wall of hers to crumble down before I took her. Unrepentant, though I knew that I was sinning, I kissed her neck again, mumbling, "Sleep well, my sweet. I'll visit you soon."

As I left through the door, closing it behind me, I heard her voice distinctly, "Maker…" It was breathy, yearning and wanton. I stayed by the door, hearing a soft unsatisfied moan before she cursed me, "Damn you, Sebastian."

I chuckled as I walked down the stairs, unable to stop the grin. Damn her too, she made me constantly ache for her. I thought of her smile and my body would freeze in need. I had just seen her body, part of it, played with her and toyed with her and no matter how she complained, I suffered too.

My body was hard beneath my armour, straining against my breeches and in need of release. I ignored my body's command. When the time came, this anticipation would only take me to ever higher heights.

I should have been ashamed about the images that floated into my head. After all, the Chantry did forbid our dalliances with temptation. Still, I found no shame. There was no shame in being with the one that you loved. There was no shame in making love with someone who would one day be your wife.

I had to thank Elthina for her words. She had told me _"The Maker will provide. Walk the path He has given you and see where it leads."_ It was true. The Maker had given me a path.

Hales was mine. She already loved me. I simply waited for her surrender through my mastery of her body.

It was just a matter of time.

* * *

><p>Sebastian, Sebastian... Sebastian. You're an absolute rake, you know that?<p>

Please R&R!

Love, Ann


	16. A Blur of Sixteen

**Chapter 16: A Blur of Sixteen**

It would be about three days after that raunchy event in Hales' bedroom when she had Bodahn summon everyone to Varric's room in the Hanged Man. Bethany slipped in for a brief moment before skipping off to the Gallows for lessons simply to warn us, "Look out, everyone. Hales wants to go shopping with all of you today so play nice, she's just finished recovering."

Everyone groaned, aside from Varric, Isabela and Merrill. We knew Hales. We knew of her childlike ways, tearing through choices in clothes, trying things on from dawn to dusk. None of us could survive that. To be dressed by a woman was… dangerous, at best.

Fenris commented in an idle tone, "I saw her the other day. She was fine and sprightly enough for more reading lessons."

Isabela tutted, "Hawke is fine, stop worrying."

Anders shook his head, "I've wanted to talk to her about how she is but I don't really know how to. It's one thing to talk about the Arishok but I don't really know if she's recovered from the shock of her mother dying because of _that sick fuck._" He ended with a disgusted expression on his face.

No one bat an eyelash over his cursing. It seemed that everyone agreed no matter how they worded it. Varric shook his head, "Hawke is strong. She'll come through."

I told them, "From what Bethany has told me, her trip to Ferelden was significant in her recovering."

Merrill commented, "Ferelden must have good air."

I smiled weakly. From what the Orlesians say, Ferelden smelt like 'wet dog'. Merrill didn't seem to understand the difference between emotional recovery and physical recovery.

Fenris scowled, "Ferelden was her old home. Of course, it helped." It was almost amusing watching him. Merrill seemed to irritate him simply by breathing. The worst part was that it was probably true.

I shrugged, "She had friends. Apparently, she's good friends with the Queen of Ferelden."

A seductive trill came from the door, "Correct me if I'm wrong but I get the feeling that Bethany told you much more than she said to me."

I blushed; caught red-handed talking about a lady was never a good thing. Then I turned to face her and blushed even harder. She was wearing the robes and staff that I had bought her. That scarlet robe draped over like a second skin, all her curves accentuated perfectly. Seductive, sensual but not outright forward. My hands jerked, wanting to slide my hands down her slides, feeling her body against me. Hales filled out the robe wonderfully and I nearly groaned.

Hales was leaning against the doorjamb, an utterly feminine smile crossing her face as she watched my face burn. It was the kind of smile that held a secret, a dangerous thrill. I hardened beneath my clothes in an instant.

She greeted everyone and ordered drinks. Anders began, "Are you sure you're ready to be out and carrying a staff? It might still drain you."

Hales replied, "Using magic will thoroughly tire me out so I won't really be up to anything life-endangering for a few more days but I didn't want to walk around unarmed."

She cradled her signature drink, honeyed mead, and sipped it slowly. Shrugging, she announced, "Anyway, the reason I've called everyone out is because-"

Varric interrupted with hope, "Because you wanted to get drunk?"

A round of laughter came before Hales grinned at him, "Sorry Varric, not today." Most seemed resigned to the day of clothes.

She continued, "I'm here to announce that we have a ball to attend. The invitation is addressed for all of us –"

Aveline interrupted, "Not it isn't. It says 'Champion of Kirkwall and friends'. That's not addressed for all of us."

Hales smirked and she leaned onto the table, resting upon her hands, "Well, friends would be all of you. The invitation states specifically for formal attire and absolutely no weapons. So, I expect all of you to be there."

Aveline snorted, "I am not going unarmed."

After an eye-roll, Hales reiterated, "Let me rephrase, no visible weapons. Bring something small and hide it somewhere on you. Never know if it's necessary."

Aveline continued, "I am also not getting dressed up."

"Oh come on, Big Girl, if you don't get dressed up, Hawke will just drag you there by your hair," Isabela supplied whilst Hales finished her sentence, "wearing nothing except a silken curtain. If you're lucky."

Many asked simultaneously, "What will I wear?" knowing that her threat would probably be real enough if they pushed.

Hales threw back her drink before replying, "That's what we're going to sort out today. We're going shopping."

Fenris growled, "I trust you with my life but there is no way you're playing dress up with me." Most of the men had to agree with his statement. I did too.

There was an irritated gleam in her eye, "Fenris, I'm not expecting you to wear whatever I point you towards. I simply expect you to be dressed in formal attire. What you wear is purely your decision _unless_ you want my advice."

Isabela commented, "Not that she hasn't actually picked things out for you already."

There was a sharp nudge in her ribs by Hales before she continued, "That's right but no one is obligated to wear what I pick. That being said, Merrill, I found the most gorgeous dress for you."

There was a bright squeal from the elven girl before she rushed out of the door. Isabela laughed, "That's a yes, I think."

Isabela, being a woman, would enjoy the trip. Everyone trailed out with some reluctance.

An arm shot out to stop me. With a hand pressed upon my chest, Hales leaned closer to me and said, "Thank you for the gifts. I really appreciate the thought."

Her lips were not so far from my own and I had to shake away the clouds that formed in my mind to respond properly. I cleared my throat and replied, "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."

Her brown eyes stared deeply into my own before she slowly backed away, sliding away from me sensually. Our hips brushed and I gasped for breath. I was evidently out of practice in courting a woman.

I wanted that touch. I craved it. I didn't care if I didn't have the upper hand in the situation. My hand trailed to her belt and pulling her forward against me, my fingers stroked the dagger I gave her. I questioned her, "You keep that with you?"

There was a mysterious but knowing smile, once again full of thrilling secrets, "Everyday." I began to strain against my breeches; a dull ache grew as blood rushed downwards. She smelled of something citrus, like sweet lemons and something just as innocent and fresh. It was a stark contrast to the sultry look that formed in the depths of her eye. It was well-hidden but like Fenris once said: a man knows when a woman will become his lover.

I let her go and as though totally unaffected, she met with Isabela and the two chattered on like best friends did. It was frustrating. I _wanted_ her to be affected. Seeing her unaffected by a need that was perpetually growing inside me made me panic.

As we walked past many shops and stalls that were simply overflowing with gowns and formal attire, Aveline and I began talking. It seemed that Kirkwall was a magnet for trouble. Now that the Qunari problem was over, Kirkwall seemed unwilling to take comfort in peace. The relationship between mage and Templar had always been tense and now, doubly so what with Hales being an apostate but still, a Champion of Kirkwall.

I told Aveline, "The problem is that Kirkwall has no Viscount."

She replied sagely, "We have Knight-Commander Meredith."

I shook my head, "I believe she has the interests of this city at heart, I truly do but she is hardly the most objective person. I think Hawke should do it. Kirkwall needs a true Viscount."

It was true. Meredith simply wanted order and security but she could not provide it well. From the people I had seen, none had the sense of balance that Hales promoted without even trying. I did have ulterior motives. Flora had spoken to me about Meredith's influence amongst the nobles of Kirkwall. Many were opposed to Hales being an apostate. If Hales didn't become Viscountess, I wasn't sure how long her money and status could protect her.

Aveline frowned at me, "Have you asked her if she even wants that?"

I gestured to the ground as the sun shone overhead, blinding me for a moment, "I watched my parents in Starkhaven. When times were good, the city ruled itself. Years could pass and no one would notice who's Prince. But when there's famine, when there's war, people look to their leaders. Who does Kirkwall have beyond Hawke?"

If anything, her frown only deepened. I tried to assuage her, "The city can rely on their city guardsmen. People such as you are very dependable but you are a captain. You take orders from the Viscount or from your superiors. The person above you needs to be equally as capable."

Hales turned around, giving the two of us a speculative eye. Aveline shook her head, "It's a conversation the both of you should have."

Hales and Aveline swapped places. She and I walked for a while, watching as Merrill squealed in happiness at the dress she had tried on. We exchanged a look and each turned away to prevent from laughing.

She asked me, "You want me to be Viscount?"

I smiled at her. I was filled with peace, "Andraste said, 'the Maker is king in the heavens, but it is the kings of Thedas who must recreate His worldly glory'."

I deviated from the original topic of conversation, desperately wanting to take the opportunity to talk about my reclaiming the throne. "I keep thinking about that. Who better serves the Maker, a brother of the faith or a Prince who can sway a whole city?" I asked her.

She hesitated for a moment before answering, "I was told that everyone does the Makers will in their own way but I suppose that more people follow the word of their king than their priest."

I shrugged and told her, "Starkhaven needs me" I watched her freeze before I continued, "but I will not leave Elthina to the mercy of those apostates or Templars. As far as I'm concerned, they're both have potential for despicable actions. I would not trust Her Grace with either."

It was true. That was part of my reason for not leaving for Starkhaven immediately. I continued, "I can return to Starkhaven with a clean conscience when all this is resolved."

Her voice was stiff and cold, "Very well. When _this_ is resolved, I'll remember to wish you well."

She was offended. I was not surprised. She was a mage, what could I possibly have expected? I took her by the wrist, my hold firm but not tight. She shot me an icy glare and ripped her hand away, pulling it hard enough for me to hear an odd popping from her joints.

"Hales…" I began whilst taking her hand again, "you know I have nothing but the utmost respect for you. I don't hate mages. I have no vendetta against them. I know that there are corrupt Templars. You've told me so much yourself. Anders has seen it and I know he is not lying. However, there are corrupt mages too. Some of the Blood Mages and we've fought our fair share. You know how damaging power is, whether from magic of from status. I just want to see an end to that."

Her eyes softened and I knew I had been forgiven. She nodded, "I know. There's a long way to go with all this mage tension. Isabela thinks that it won't help now that I'm Champion but also an apostate."

So she knew. That was good. I linked our fingers together, my thumb brushing over the back of her hand as I revealed, "I worry that you will be at the centre of it all. I do not wish to see another similar episode to the Qunari. I'd rather you take action now, sit upon the Viscount's seat and work this out once and for all."

Something I said struck a chord within her for she stiffened against my touch and slowly pulled away. I felt as though I was being tethered away. Seeing her rejection stung and my heart throbbed in pain. Eventually she answered, "I'm not sure that the Viscount's seat is being offered to me but if it is, I will consider what you say, Your Highness."

I wanted to yell, scream and throw myself at her until she saw reason. I spun her around to face me and placed my fingers under her chin to force her to meet my eyes. It was reluctant but what I saw comforted me. She was hurting from longing… maybe me?

I accused without any heart, "Am I not good enough compared to Goran Vael?"

She closed her eyes tightly and she would have responded had Varric not cried for her, "Hey Hawke, cosy up to your boyfriend later. You need to tell Anders he needs to wear this tunic!"

Hales left for a while, trying to brave on a smile for her friends. She told Anders, "I think that white and black pattern looks lovely. Ignore Varric. You really don't need to wear a silly tunic. It'd make you look like a girl."

Fenris sulked at the choice Isabela threw on him. A shirt of forest green with many lace-like ruffles at the collar. Varric guffawed at her choice. Hales rolled her eyes and told him, "The green brings out your eyes but the ruffles? Who thought of that?"

He gave a half relieved snarl of, "Isabela."

She shook her head, "Pick something out yourself that is simple but green" she said as Merrill swept up to her in a sea of purple silk. Hales chuckled, "You know, you can take that off until the night of the party."

"But it's so pretty, Hawke. Thank you for picking this for me! What are you wearing?"

Hales shrugged, "I haven't found anything yet." Giggling, Isabela commented, "You're too busy flirting with Sebastian over there. If you don't hurry up, you'll have nothing to wear."

With her distracted by clothing, she spared no glances for me. She gravitated towards the red, "Oh look! Red! I love red!" but was pulled away by Aveline and Varric. Receiving resistance from everyone over what formal attire involved, she became incredibly bossy, threatening at one point, "I'll rip up your bloody 'Hard in Hightown' book unless you try on that shirt!"

Most realized, at that point, that messing with her was probably detrimental to the health of their physical beings as well as their worldly possessions. I chuckled heartily a number of times as her threats became all the more creative ranging from "I'll clasp a chastity belt on you whilst you're asleep and throw away the key" when Isabela picked out something that could only be described as a scrap of cloth to "See this shield? I'll melt it down with fire if you don't try this on right now!" when Aveline swore she would not try on any dress and Hales would have to be satisfied with pants.

Yes, the group got the general picture very quickly that one did not mess with Hales where clothing was involved. However, they had their time to pile Hales with choices both good and bad. I had a sneaking suspicion that Aveline purposely picked unsuitable pieces just to annoy Hales. The poor girl tried on armfuls – no less than sixteen. The dresses went by in a blur of colour and so, our group managed to attain some degree of revenge. By the time the clothes were paid for, I wasn't entirely sure what Hales had picked out.

She returned to me with humour, "I presume you will have no trouble picking something to wear." I was the only one who had not required her assistance.

I grinned, "You forget who I used to be."

That sobered her good mood and I had to curse myself for reminding her. As I went to apologize, she held up her hand to silence me. She continued our previous conversation and said with a succinct bluntness, "There's nothing wrong with you. I never thought to compare you with Goran Vael and I would never dream of doing so. I know nothing about him. I know… _enough_ about you. I just don't think we should carry on this odd charade", she gestured between our bodies awkwardly, "like we're lovers or something… You will marry some noble and I'm not she. Let's not create problematic relations, shall we?"

Relations… she said the word as though it was a foul disease, able to kill and contaminate easily. It angered me the way she spoke about herself, about us. I accused her again without heart but wanting her to be shocked to the core, "So its fine for Goran to ask for your hand in marriage despite your self-proclaimed civilian status but for me to do so would be out of the question. I don't know what illusions you harbour about yourself so let me break them for you."

Her face was an expression of scandal; clearly she had not expected such an angry outburst from me. I did not let her speak, "You are of the noble class. Whilst I know little of the Hawke family, you are also a descendent of the Amell's, a very noble line in Kirkwall. Furthermore, I don't know what you regard a title such as 'Champion of Kirkwall' but for most people, that would be called a _noble_ class. I thought I'd clear that up for you."

As I spoke, my voice became all the more authoritative, colder and slightly edged. She winced and guilt sank into my bones. She did not deserve this. She never deserved this. We needed time but we constantly got problems. This was no fault of hers. And every time we spoke, we ended up offending one another, misunderstanding one another. I offered without another a thought, "A few days. Just until the end of the ball. Give me that much. Maybe you should see what it's like to be with Sebastian Vael. No titles, no status."

There was an irrepressible smile that crossed her lips and as she spoke, her tone was reluctant, reprimanding but incredibly fond. "This will not end well but I know you're stubborn enough to badger me until I agree."

I gazed at her with my eyes half-closed. Her breath hitched as I responded in a husky tone, "Yes, I would have 'badgered' you but fortunately or unfortunately, you'll never have to know what that entailed."

Her mouth opened and shut several times as she struggled for speech. Eventually, she settled on a complete change of topic that I had to smirk at. She demanded, "I want to know exactly what Bethany told you."

I teased, "But there were so many things!"

She pushed me and I relented, "She mentioned that you and Lady Cousland were friends. She said that Lady Cousland is the Queen of Ferelden. She mentioned that you were in Ferelden and sought her company. She said you found the old house your family lived in."

Hales demanded, "Anything else?"

I shrugged, "Plenty but we can get to that later. I want to know about your trip to Ferelden."

The group began wondering to other stalls, buying shoes and other accessories. Aveline had a constant grimace on her face and everyone chuckled at that.

Hales' eyes became unfocused. She was faraway, reminiscing about her time in Ferelden. "Elissa and I were good friends growing up. My mother and her mother were very good friends. We used to get into all sorts of trouble and we used to spar. She's very skilled with a sword. A tough warrior but different to Aveline; Elissa was very sneaky. A little like Isabela but not quite."

Elissa. So Elissa was the Queen of Ferelden who was also the Warden Commander that Anders had fought with. It all made sense.

Isabela piped up at the sound of her name, "Are you talking about me?"

Hales grinned, "Yes, we're talking about your wild ways and outlandish behaviour. It's very inappropriate."

Isabela leered, "Don't knock it till you've tried it. Maybe you should come to my room and let me look after you…"

Hales teased, "I thought you were interested in cupping Bethany's joining?"

I blushed at how easily Hales could refer to her sister and sex within the same sentence. Isabela slid her hands down Hales' sides muttering, "Well, I'm more than happy to cup yours too."

I cleared my throat loudly and Hales burst out into childish giggles at my reaction. I interrupted, "Back to Elissa…"

Hales shrugged amidst giggles, "I was going through the wreckage of my old home. I found a number of old things. Drawings, old jewellery, my diaries from my younger days… it was nice to reclaim something of my past. As I walked the general area, Queen Elissa and King Alistair were doing some tour of the area. Elissa found me and well, we talked and reminisced. I met Alistair and he was very kind."

Isabela made a purr from the back of her throat, "And they are both Grey Wardens. Their stamina was highly impressive."

I commented snidely, "So the rumours are true. You really have slept with almost everyone in Thedas."

Hales giggled, "They did offer but I just couldn't do it. I think I was just too upset by what happened with mother and, I don't know, they seem so perfect, I couldn't be a part of something so wonderful. That was theirs. I just want my own, I didn't want to take part in another couples' happiness."

Isabela rolled her eyes, "Spoilsport. Now, I'd have to imagine what it would have been like if you _had_ tumbled with them."

Hales intoned a flippant reply, "I'm sure your imagination will be more than enough to satisfy."

I coughed a chuckle behind my hand. Isabela left and Hales continued, "We spent a lot of time just talking. I told her she had done great things with her life and she told me that I had too. She told me, 'You became a Deep Roads explorer, everyone in Kirkwall knows your name. I became a Grey Warden and a Queen. We've both done well for ourselves'. It was good to see her. She writes to me now and maybe, when I have time, I'll visit her again. It was due to her that my pain healed so easily."

I knew to what she referred. Her mother's death. I stroked the length of her arm and smiled, "I'm glad it did you so much good. I think you really deserved it. That being said, I'm also very happy you didn't sleep with them. I was jealous enough at Anders kissing you. To think that a man-"

I broke off and my fists clenched. To think of a man making love to her. Another man. It drove me insane.

She whispered to me, "I couldn't do it. There was another-" She stopped herself, not wanting to reveal her inner secrets. I did it for her. I murmured in her ear, "There was another in your mind. Me…"

She shoved me away with surprising strength, exclaiming defensively, "I never said that!"

I sent a very slow and heated smile her way before responding, "You didn't have to."

"You are very arrogant!"

"But I'm right. Bethany told me enough", I told her, not mentioning the fact that Bethany had actually told me that Hales was in love with me.

Hales bristled, "I am not…", she paused and then gestured wildly with her hands before lowering her voice and hissing, "_in love with you_."

I shot her a very bland and neutral look, "Lying is a sin."

Flustered, she cried out, "So is-", she stopped herself again before ending off with a, "Oh, never mind."

I knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to say that it was a sin to touch her the way I had that day in her bedroom but she could not do so without admitting that she had been awake the entire time.

Once again, I supplied her with the answer, "You were going to say that I was also sinning by touching you as I did?"

She struggled for words before spitting out, "You did not have my consent."

I laughed at her, "Ah, but apparently, I did. You see, you could have pushed me away. You could have turned to me and told me off but you didn't."

Her cheeks flushed, turning her cheeks a soft pink in colour. It was hard not to be aroused. The image of her lying in bed, open to my touch; the image of her now, pink with embarrassment combined with the stark contrast of need and lust in her eyes made me harden yet again. I seemed to be spending my days perpetually aroused.

I leaned in closer, sliding my arms around her waist and pulling her into me, "Instead, you tried to lean away from me. You tried to pretend you were asleep whilst your body insisted otherwise."

Her eyes closed and her body shifted in my arms, subconsciously wanting to be touched. She tried for a decided edge in her voice but failed due to her breathlessness, "You are very adept at manipulation and seduction, more so than a Chantry brother is allowed."

I shrugged, "I was once a very wild boy. I told you that."

"I thought you said the Chantry made you into a man", she wriggled a little more.

"Yes, I did become a man. A man still wants, Hales. The only difference between that boy and man is that the man will offer and give you everything he asks for in return." My lips lowered to her ears and I nipped just the top edge before continuing, "And said man wants you and only you. So, I will use any of my skills from my previous years upon you until you cannot help but surrender to me and only me."

Her breath came out ragged and I offered her, "Does this make you want me?"

"Yes…" her voice came out in a low, dulcet tone, coloured by desire and erotic aching.

I stepped away from her cruelly and told her in an unaffected voice, "Good."

It was like a bucket of ice water had been thrown over her head. She instantly sobered and threw at me, "Bastard."

I grinned at her, wrapping one arm around her waist as we walked back to the group who had decided to give us some privacy. I told her, "Actually, my parents were married. You can, however, call me a royal pain."

She quipped, "I still prefer 'bastard'. Royal pain doesn't encapsulate the irritant that you are."

I burst out into raucous laughter, almost tearing up from the hilarity of her words. Stitches of pain flashed at my sides from my laughing and I was fairly certain many people stared at me. It would certainly explain why Hales said, "I don't know him."

Eventually, I told her whilst bringing my arms around her waist, "If you think you are suffering, imagine how I've been all this time. Longing for you, wanting you, hardening at every thought of you and staying that way constantly… How do you think _I _feel?"

She quivered before I growled into her ear, "And I haven't had release. I don't want my hands. They wouldn't do you justice. I want _your_ hands,_ your_ lips,_ your _body and by the Maker, I will have you."

Hales stalked off, throwing a superior look over her shoulder, "What if I say no?"

Though her voice was intoned with an ounce of snobbish quality, the truth was in her eyes. Chocolate eyes that had darkened with desire to the colour of sin itself had me whispering to myself, "You won't. I love you too much to let you walk away now."

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><p>So, what did you think? Was it sensual or too much? Let me know!<br>Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	17. Acting Like a Seventeen Year Old

**Chapter 17: Acting Like a Seventeen Year Old**

I spent time with Hales everyday. With few errands to run for Elthina, I found myself at her door by late morning and stayed by her until nightfall. We did have an agreement. She would give me until the night of the ball.

With Anders satisfied that Hales would stay true to her word not to throw herself into battle or even carry her staff (for the most part), there was a general group consensus to develop a routine until Hales was fully recovered:

Aveline and I would escort Hales and Bethany to the Gallows where Bethany resumed her daily lessons. Aveline would then take off, not wanting to be dragged into any more shops, stalls or markets with Hales. To my amusement, Hales did not possess the good sense to be sheepish about it.

Anders or Merrill would drop in for a visit at some point with Merrill constantly bringing flowers and weeds for Hales' enjoyment.

We would then stroll along in Hightown to visit Fenris perhaps and then trail into Lowtown to briefly visit Varric, who would entertain with his newest repertoire of awful jokes, or Isabela, whose stories about how the previous night was spent could surprisingly become more vulgar as the days wore on. The conversations were thankfully kept to a minimal length, allowing me ample time to seduce and woo until Hales would finally surrender. There was still a last shred of resistance and _that_ was simply unacceptable.

We spent much time along the shores of the Wounded Coast and whilst Hales could not swim in the cooler winter waters, she'd splash with her feet, the water frothing and teasing at her ankles.

One afternoon, she'd been particularly playful, splashing me with handfuls of water. I gave chase and though she did not have my exceptional agility, she was by no means slow. With her robes lifted to her knees, she sprinted through the sand, her luxurious hair fanning out like a flag behind her.

I caught her and we rolled into the sand, both partially damped, out of breath and laughing to tears. As we calmed down, Hales rolled to face me and told me, "Goran will be at the party. I thought to warn you in advance since things are going to get ugly."

I rolled onto my side, supporting my head on my hand. I asked, "Why do you think that?"

With her hands above her head, she closed her eyes and sighed as though it were exasperating to have to explain to me, "Let's see", she began in a cynical voice, "he wants to marry me. He's Prince but now, you're Prince too and you're going to tip me off his throne and sit on it yourself. That doesn't seem like a problem to you?"

The afternoon sun lit up her face and hair. I didn't want to talk about politics. I wanted to enjoy her. I stroked those elegantly wavy tresses and asked, "Did you know you have glints of orange and red in your hair?"

She sat up quickly, "Are you listening to me?" Her tone was rich with irritation.

Knowing how seriously she was taking this, I became the epitome of solemness, "I am. I am not worried. I am the first in line. If I reclaim the throne, he must step aside. And you", I said in a slightly menacing voice, "you will not marry him."

Hales lay back down onto the sand, turning onto her side so that her back was facing me. She asked me in an impertinent voice, "Do I not get a choice in this matter?"

I cuddled her from behind, pressing the line of her back against my chest. I held her there for a while, wondering what my answer would be. I couldn't resist it any longer. I had held it inside me for so long that it threatened to burst from me. I told her gently, "You always have a choice. I only wish for you to marry me."

I waited for her to stiffen against me. She did. I tried to hold her against me but it was like I was holding onto a ghost. She could leave at any time. I linked our fingers together but her flesh was chilled, like an icy shell as the only remainder of what she was. Though I had been patient, or at least I felt that I had been patient, I had to wonder what more it would take before she would tell me the truth. Like a man half-mad, I pleaded, "Maker, don't push me away like this."

Her tone was aloof, "Then don't joke about such things."

I shifted aside to roll her over and then covered her body with my own. As she struggled, I caught her hands. I was quick, deftly catching them and dragging them up above her head as I dropped my hips like a dead weight upon her body. Even still, she fought, refusing to look at me.

I told her, "There is nothing funny about that."

Her eyes were focused upon the boulder to her right but I could see her eyes becoming glassy with emotion. I told her, "Please don't pretend I mean nothing to you. We both know that isn't true."

Hales turned her head to look at me. Her eyes were so conflicted. There was something going on inside her that made her miserable and made her struggle with herself. She whispered, "You're leaving for Starkhaven. I don't belong there."

I let go of her hands and slipped one of my hands to cradle her neck. I asked, "What are you really saying, sweetheart? That you don't belong in Starkhaven? Or that you don't belong with me?"

It hurt to say those words but I had no real choice. This was something that she and I simply had to work through. I wanted to tell her that I loved her but it didn't seem like a good time. I desperately hoped that when it was the right time, everything would be perfect.

She murmured, "We… haven't known each other that long."

I told her, "That's a pathetic excuse. I've known you long enough to move past this _friendship_ that we have." I spoke the word like it was some curse. In some ways, it was. Hales and I were incapable of being friends. We could have a relationship where friendship was a component but if it were the only element, it was sure to fail. The attraction was simply too much.

She winced, "I'm…This is all I know. Kirkwall. Ferelden is no longer my home. Everything is here. I know that eventually everyone will leave Kirkwall but how can I?" Her tone was distressing, too full of heartache.

I tucked my fingers underneath her cheek so that our eyes locked and she continued, "Fenris will get bored. Anders will leave. Isabela will get her ship. Varric will find some other place to weave his tales. Even Merrill will live in another alienage just for fun. I think, Aveline is the only one who'd stay in Kirkwall. But me? Everything I know is in Kirkwall. Everything I am is Kirkwall. This is who I am. There is nothing else for me."

How was it that she saw herself in such an unclear image? I stroked her cheek and she closed her eyes to the affection. I whispered, "Kirkwall is only a little part of who you are. You can't define yourself around Kirkwall. Don't push me away like this. Don't push any of us away like this."

"I don't know how to live a life with you."

And there was the truth. She had forgotten what it was like not to be burdened with an entire city's problems. She had no one to lean upon. She had been so strong for everyone else. Who would be strong for her?

I laid a chaste kiss upon her lips, gentle and soothing. Her arms slipped around my neck, her fingers trailing upon my skin. Her brown eyes were so clear in the daylight, watching me with such affection. I almost couldn't breathe. She stated with some degree of revelation in her voice, "I have forgotten who I am without danger, without Kirkwall."

We rolled in the sand, once more on our sides and as I ran my hands up her arms, I told her, "Let me help you remember, my sweet. You are that warm flicker of fire in this cold and icy world. You are that shelter of kindness and warmth that has ceased to exist in this cruel world… that shelter from the storm. You gave me peace from my revenge, calm from my maelstrom of emotion, light from the darkness of the world."

She buried her face into my chest plate and I continued, "Would you really hold that warmth from me, Hales?"

Hales revealed in a low whisper, "No. I want to be with you, desperately so."

It was enough of a confession. It wasn't 'I love you' but it was another step past another barrier. I kissed atop her head, smiling into her hair, "Don't deny me the pleasure of being warm. Don't deny me the chance to look after you, to keep you warm, too."

The last of her walls came crumbling down. She sighed out, "I won't" and rewarded me with an undemanding kiss but when my hands slipped down the curve of her back, her mouth opened and I could taste her – achingly sweet but distinctively spicy.

I didn't control myself. My hands ran greedy over her curves as I suckled upon her lower lips before sliding my tongue into her mouth. She returned the affection, slipping her tongue over mine. I groaned into her mouth with fervour, arousal clouding my mind and stiffening me. Her clever fingers reached under my chest plate to the hidden catch and my armour fell off easily to reveal the soft shirt I wore beneath.

I pushed my hardness against her hips and she became all the more bold, arching up into me ardently. She moaned, "Sebastian…"

My lips travelled down her neck, nibbling at her pulse point, reaching behind her to undo those criss-cross ties at her back. Hales pulled at her clothes until her robes came down to her waist. Watching her caused pinpricks of pleasure to dance along my skin… thousands, maybe millions. She shook me to the core and my hands, strong and impatient, tugged at her breast band until my calloused hands were filled with her breasts. She arched and her fingers slipped under my shirt to press into my back.

And Maker… the texture. Perfect ivory and silk and rose petals. She was everything a man could want to touch and claim as his own. I swore as my loins ached deeper and her body quivered more, melting into my hands. "Sebastian… please…" her throaty purr rampaged through my self-control, my blood burst through my veins and my mouth pulled at her breast, suckled and tugged in my mouth. She sobbed in need.

Her white breast lay atop her black breast band, contrasting in the colour, tormenting me to touch and possess. My mouth went back to hers, devouring her until she had no more breath.

And then I heard the ocean crashing along the shore, felt my boots drowning in salt water and I surfaced from the haze. I was appalled at what I'd done. I had pawed her like some heathen! I tried to gulp down air like I hadn't breathed in too long and gently, slipped her breast band on.

I deserved to be slapped. Run through with a sword. She stared at me, insulted and her tone cynical, "I suppose a virgin isn't quite up to the quality you imagined."

Guilt hammered at me. She was a virgin! I nearly yelled, "No! No…" I toned down, "I want you. Maker, you made me lose my mind. I was going to rip your clothes and take you, here on this sandy beach. You deserve the perfect first time. And I was so inconsiderate!" I berated myself, partly lost in my emotional rant, "I never asked if you ever had done this. Never even considered the possibility. I just took."

Hales was quiet, at first. Then uncertainly she asked, "So it's not because I'm a bad lover?"

"Maker, no. I am angry with myself for my lack of control." I tried to tug on her robes with shaky hands and groaning, looked away, "Please dress. I have a very slippery grip upon my control right now."

We were silent for a long while as we walked back towards Hawke estate. My body was tight and it was as though there wasn't enough oxygen in the air for me. Over the days before the ball, we never spoke of the incident and I resolved to wait for her to offer what I had seen in her eyes.

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><p>Hormones! *Fans self* R&amp;R!<p>

Love, Ann


	18. Eighteen Circles

**Chapter 18: Eighteen Circles**

Bodahn let me into the foyer. I waited by the stairs. Widge, who was thankfully clean at the time, came forward to lick my fingers. I gave him a gentle pat on the head.

"I think he's starting to like you more than me." Maker, but she was beautiful. A silk gown of darkest sapphire blue caressed her body. It was a very daring creation, with the collar of the dress running from one shoulder to under the other arm such that one arm was sleeved and the other bare. The sleeve was tight near the shoulders and expanded down her arms, making her appear like a goddess to me. The silk swept snugly past her waist, hips and then flared dramatically. Her hair was bundled elegantly about her head, sleek but slightly tousled. I itched to pull her hair pins out. Sapphires twinkled at her ears and neck.

Like a boy who had never seen a woman before, I managed to stutter out, "You look… wondrous."

She laughed, a tinkling sound that shot straight through my body. I tried to ignore it. "You look very handsome yourself…"

I had been wearing nothing special. A silk shirt of silver-blue adored by a black belt around the waist; the shirt reached my thighs, burgundy pants and fur-lined boots that came almost to my knee. I shrugged at her compliment and she smiled, "You look every bit the Prince, which will come in useful considering your cousin will be there."

My smile dropped so quickly that hers faltered. She pleaded, "Please don't be upset."

I needed to possess her. I hadn't touched her body, nor kissed her in days. Unable to resist, I dragged her up against me, my arms catching her by the waist and pulling her in tightly. I kissed her boldly, tracing the edges of her lips with my tongue, searing her.

She relished in my touch and murmured as she released me, "You haven't kissed me in days."

I thought to myself that she had no idea just how much I had wanted to but thankful that she hadn't been disgusted by our previous experience, I embraced her for a moment. She hadn't known how difficult it had been to keep my hands off her body. I had thought about it at every waking moment and dreamt about it as I slept. It was agony. My body ached for completion and release.

At the door of Viscount's Keep, our companions awaited, each dressed impeccably with formal attire. Seneschal Bran cried out the announcement as we entered the Throne Room, "May I present The Champion of Kirkwall, Lady Hawke and her escort, Sebastian Vael of Starkhaven!"

With her hand firmly curled into the crook of my elbow, we walked into the room. As was tradition, the honoured guest would begin the first dance with a circle of seventeen other couples. I tugged her close, holding her firmly as we swept across the floor. I knew the whole room was watching us, wondering what kind of relationship it was that the two of us shared but neither I nor Hales had any care for the guests in the room. There was no one else in the world aside from us.

As the dance finished, our hands continued to be intertwined. We sat down at the head table where dinner was soon served. Isabela sat beside Hales whilst Fenris took the seat beside me. He whispered into my ear, "There's a man in the corner of the room who bears a slight resemblance to you. He doesn't look pleased."

I turned to where he suggested and found a familiar pair of sharp blue eyes staring daggers at me. Goran. Though I had not seen him in many years and he had changed much, I still recognized his face. Being a Prince in Starkhaven had evidently treated him 'well', he had become much more portly than I had remembered. I mentioned for Fenris, "Goran."

Anders, who sat beside Fenris, overheard our conversation and his lip curled distastefully, "And thus, he thought he'd steal our Hawke from us? Unbelievable."

As plates were laid before us and uncovered to reveal roasts, stews and all assortments of winter dishes, Hales remained blissfully unaware of Goran's lecherous but angry glare. She giggled throughout with Isabela and Merrill whilst the men looked around for other hostile glowers. Bethany seemed especially happy, being free to do mostly as she pleased.

Throughout dinner, Hales often reached for me. A casual brush of her back of her hand with mine. A gentle smile, eyes sparkling in the candlelight. A hand curled for a moment in the crook of my elbow. I reached for her just as often, stroking her hair occasionally, brushing my hand against the outside of her thigh and giving her a lovers' smile that left her breathless.

After desserts, Seneschal Bran had begun the processions of presenting the Champion's armour, exclaiming loudly, "And as a token of gratitude from Kirkwall and each of her citizens, I present this armour to Lady Hawke, our new Champion of Kirkwall for her magnanimous efforts in defending our home."

Hales swept from her seat regally, strolling towards the stage with an ethereal calm. Her smile seemed sincere despite her eyeing the armour with distaste. Those of us who caught her brief expression chuckled. Her smile widened a little and accepting the armour, she said quickly.

"I appreciate this token of gratitude and hope that Kirkwall can band together for any future conflicts. The Qunari is an event that we should all learn from. If Kirkwall is not strong from within, much more blood will and can be shed. Kirkwall has a long way to go."

It was a simple statement but it brought a fire to Meredith's eyes. A fire that many of our group took note of. She would cause much trouble for Hales. It was simply a matter of when and how.

Hales descended from the podium and was dragged away by Goran, tugging her towards the dance floor. He was too forceful, his movements too strong and it was obvious that his words caused Hales some amount of distress.

I stalked towards them and caught the last few words, "An apostate is still an apostate, no matter what charming title they give you for now. I do believe that it is in your interests to reconsider my offer of marriage. You'll find no better than a Vael."

I tapped him upon the shoulder, "You're correct there, cousin but I do believe that you're referring to the _wrong_ Vael."

Hales winced at my cold tone and even Goran seemed to blanch, if just a little. I saw red when my eyes fell upon the redness of her hands. He had gripped her too tightly. Jealousy pulled at me. It shred through my polite exterior. Hales was _mine_! No one else had claim to her. No one. Only me. Me!

Goran tried to snicker, "Sebastian! Perhaps being in the Chantry too long has addled your mind. Surely, you realize that I am now Prince of Starkhaven. It is not your business if I wish to marry the Champion of Kirkwall."

I took a menacing step forward and stared down the bridge of my nose towards him, "The Champion of Kirkwall is very much my business, cousin. I suggest you leave her be. Furthermore, that seat you sit upon will not be yours much longer."

He forgot about Hales. Like a child, scared witless, he turned towards our forefathers as a means of support, "Our Grandfather will not support this! And I will not endure your attempts of a coup . Do not try my patience!"

I tilted my head and smiled coolly, "He may not support me but neither will he support you. I will reclaim Starkhaven, Goran and it is you that should not try my patience."

Goran snarled, "You and what army?"

Our group materialized behind me. Every single one of them. It was a strange moment for me. The people that had once thought of me as a newcomer had nevertheless come to my defence as necessary. To my surprise, even Anders stood with me.

Outnumbered by far, he stated, "Your army will not be allowed to stand in Kirkwall for long. Not even a Champion of Kirkwall can save your group of low-lives and thieves."

With that statement, Goran had made many enemies in one night but there was also a warning in his voice. If possible, Goran would be another problem for our group. And with Meredith eyeing us with speculative interest, my panic rose. She would recognize this opportunity.

I continued as though without being affected, "Say what you will about my companions. You've made dangerous enemies tonight."

With a huff, Goran turned but I stopped him with one last comment, "Enjoy the title of Prince while you can and stay away from what is mine!"

I turned to Hales, who was still staring at me with a wide-eyed look, and half-snarled, "We are leaving." Dinner had been served, Hales had taken her armour. We weren't needed. I was determined to leave. Our group complied with my orders and shuffled out.

Hales' icy glare cut through me with surprise but before I could react, she had picked up her skirt, mocked me with a curtsy and stormed out of Viscount's Keep with the others.

In Hightown Square, the entire group congregated. Hales had an icy scowl etched upon her face whilst the others looked worriedly between her and me.

After ensuring no one was around, Hales demanded, "What the hell was that?"

I did not have a control on myself. I had no control. Absolutely none. Everything about Hales tore through me in that moment. Despite this, I managed a civil line, "I'm not sure what you're referring to."

Something in the air shifted, the temperature dropped. Everyone looked at Hales with wary eyes as she spoke, "I am referring to your barbaric attempts to threaten your cousin, suggest our group as a potential hostile force and publicly proclaim me as your piece of property in one fell swoop."

I hated the iciness. I preferred her heat. Her yelling. Her shouting. Anything was better than her aloof attitude. I hissed through my breath in irritation before growling out, "You are a fool. Goran is Prince. He can make a lot of problems for you. Were you not listening? 'An apostate is still an apostate'. That was a threat in itself. Kirkwall is overwhelming in mage versus Templar problems. Meredith _despises_ you. If you think that you or our group can be protected through that title of yours, then you've got another thing coming. Why else did you think I pushed for you to consider being Viscountess? Meredith is the Viscount around here. Any opportunity to 'bring you to justice', she'll exploit that. Don't be so foolish!"

Anders stepped forward, "I'm with Sebastian on this one, love. Kirkwall is a bundle of problems for apostate mages and that's exactly what we are. Money and title might not protect us for long."

Hales narrowed her eyes, "And what? Sebastian can suddenly protect us? He and what army?"

Her snide comment stung but Fenris stepped forward as well, "We could be his army. We might need more people but it is not an impossible task. If Sebastian could become Prince, we could all be afforded protection and given proper tasks."

Isabela offered, "I also might have means to a new ship since Castillon is back in town and we'll have to deal with him. We could go to Starkhaven."

The plan was already solidifying. I ended with, "And any mages in our group could become part of the Starkhaven Circle."

Uproar. "No!" came from Anders, Bethany and Hales. I shook my head, "You misunderstand. Starkhavens' Circle lies in ruins after the assassination of my family. It needs to be rebuilt. It can be changed. If the three of you help with that, none of you could legally be called apostates. It's a perfect plan."

Anders and Bethany nodded in thought. Anders suggested, "Justice says that we could be doing mages a lot of good by rebuilding a whole nations Magi system. I'm all for it."

Varric seemed happy with the idea too, "Come on, Hawke. Kirkwall is boring anyway. What do you have here? What do any of us have here? Let's get a ship, build an army, get to Starkhaven and live a good life there. Prince Charming here is going to reclaim is land, right? We might as well help out and reap those benefits."

Merrill asked naïvely, "Will I have a nice place to live? The Alienage isn't really that nice."

Aveline was the only who hadn't spoken. She looked at Hales' expression and being the first friend Hales made even prior to Kirkwall, she stoically refused to speak. I enticed Aveline, "And I wouldn't trust any Guard-Captain at my back that was appointed by Goran."

At that, Aveline seemed to soften a little. Still, she looked at Hales and said softly, "Hawke. It does make sense but I am with _you_ until the end."

Friends or no, Hales' pride stood firm. She wouldn't agree. She would never agree. It was Bethany that broke her down.

"Sister… Hales… please", Bethany pleaded, "Kirkwall is so awful. The Gallows is an awful place. If we could rebuild somewhere else, we could live a _real_ life. Mama isn't here anymore and Gamlen doesn't really care about us anyway. There wouldn't be anyone after us. We could be a family again. We could be happy."

Everyone stayed silent, careful not to break the gentle thawing of Hales' expression. Unable to say no to Bethany, Hales opened her arms and her sister rushed forward, wrapping tight arms around Hales' waist. We all heard Bethany's broken sob, "I've lost Carver. I've lost Father. I've lost Mama. I can't lose you, Hales. Please…"

Hales stroked Bethany's hair, hushing her gently. She tenderly rested her cheek upon Bethany's hair and closed her eyes. The entire group chose this moment to breathe a sigh of relief. No real explosion. No real damage.

When Bethany lifted away, Hales addressed all of us, "Very well. It seems our group believes this is a good idea. We should discuss our plans tomorrow. Isabela, please try to find out about your potential ship. If that's a go, things will be much easier. Varric, contact the people you know that seem reliable in the inclusion of an army. Aveline, keep your ear to the ground. Any sign of hostilities in Kirkwall and we need to be out of here. Anders, I suggest you start closing your clinic and begin finding a better place of residence."

Fenris offered, "He can stay in one of my rooms. As long as he keeps to himself, he shall be unharmed."

Hales rolled her eyes in irritation but turned to Merrill, "Maybe you should pack up your things and stay in the Hanged Man with Isabela and Varric."

Merrill nodded, "I'll do that straight away!"

Hales said, "Aveline, I hope you realize that I haven't forgotten about Donnic and the both of you are welcome to my house."

It was incredible the way Hales' mind worked. Meticulous. No error. She thought of everyone and everything.

Aveline declined, "The both of us are safe at the barracks but I will be talking to him about this tonight. He hasn't any family here so I don't believe it will be a problem."

Isabela suggested, "Just fuck him into a tizzy, Big Girl. He'll promise anything if you do that."

Hales stated, "I will speak with First Enchanter Orsino and some other contacts to see if they'd like to join us. Starkhaven will need a First Enchanter." With reluctance, Hales turned to me. "It seems that we'll be accepting your offer after all. It might be useful to speak with Elthina, perhaps?"

With her authoritative tone, I couldn't help my pride's inclusion in my statement, "So it seems I was well justified in my actions. Perhaps threatening my cousin and posing our group as a hostile force was a good idea, no?"

The only indication were her narrowing eyes but she ignored me and barked to the others, "Everyone, get a good night's rest. Meet after sundown at the Hanged Man."

I demanded, "You and I are _not_ finished!"

Everyone scattered, not wanting to be a part of the explosion. Even Fenris seemed to scamper off, to my amusement.

Without her companions, Hales seemed to deflate, if just a little but still managed an impertinent, "What?"

I started silkily, "About claiming you as my property…" I never gave her a chance to respond. I pulled her in violently and fused our mouths together. She stiffened, fought, closed her hands into fists and beat them upon my shoulders but my arms were like steel bands around her. I refused to let her go until I was done exploring her mouth.

My tongue sought entrance, tracing her lips until her body melted and her mouth parted with a sigh. Then she was mine. Her arms came around my neck, her hips lined against mine and I throbbed painfully against her. I ignored it, revelling in her and the sensations she brought me.

I let her go. Released her completely and waited. We stared at each other for a moment before both of us came together again, our mouths crushing together. It was all I needed to know how she felt for me. How much she wanted me. But it wasn't enough.

I tore away from her and said in an unassailable tone, "You are mine. You are not a piece of property or a piece of meat. You are mine and I give you all that I am. So do this now and be my woman for eternity. I won't take any less."

She did not speak but with worried eyes, stepped forward towards me. Damn her, I thought. That little minx would have been the death of me. Her hands were like those of a temptress and seeing her body waver before me as it did made me want to take her against the cold, stone ground. I wanted to rip that dress into shreds.

I gripped upon my tethered self control and warned her away, "Stop. Every day and night since I touched you at the Wounded Coast, your touch and body are on my mind constantly. I've been waiting; waiting for you to offer me what was in your eyes that day. But you haven't. And I can't wait any longer. You do this and you're mine. Forever. It's your decision. Damn me to the Void or take me to heaven. Just do it _now_."

The words fell from her lips, "I love you, Sebastian."

That was all I needed to hear.

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><p>Cliffhanger. Tell me what you think!<p> 


	19. Nineteen Candles

**Chapter 19: Nineteen Candles**

The trip towards Hawke Estate was rushed, a frenzied mix of heady kisses and fumbling. All was quiet in the mansion and needing Hales too much; I swept her into my arms and carried her up the stairs, taking them two or even three at a time. I put Hales down in the bedroom and kicked the door closed with my foot, toeing my boots off straight away.

Then everything suddenly became still. Her room was awash with firelight. The fireplace was lit and as though someone had intentionally set the atmosphere to be romantic, long-stemmed candles had been lit all around the room.

In the firelight, everything was intensified but also at rest. I had a moment's time to admire Hales from behind before my lips descended to her neck. With gentle kisses, I suckled upon the base of her neck and she tilted her head in response, her breath hitching.

I touched her body, laying claim upon her body with a long and possessive stroke. Mine. Always mine. I reached into her hair, twisting her hair pins out until her hair tumbled down her shoulders and back. My hands dove into her silky mass, bringing her head back so I could attack her throat. I licked a stripe down her neck and her shaking hands came to my clothes, a sound of frustration hissing out when my buttons refused to come undone.

She sighed in defeat, "I'm not very good at this."

I guided her fingers with my own, gently sliding buttons out one at a time. They gave way and I told her, "Do you think I want a woman who can undress me in a moment without thought? No, my love… I want a woman whose hands shudder from wanting me so badly that she can barely undress me."

As my shirt slipped off, she stepped back so she could look at me, her eyes wandering from my eyes to my chest, her fingers caressing, testing. As her hands trailed down my chest and I trembled from the touch. I told her, "I want a woman who sears me to the core with one innocent look."

My head fell back when her fingers trailed lower, undoing the laces to my breeches. My hands joined hers and the laces fell upon, I sprang free from the restraints and my breeches lay upon the floor, forgotten. "I want a woman who shakes my entire world with just one touch."

She bit her lip, unsure and tentatively reached out for a soft caress. I groaned deeply and fascinated by my reaction, cool fingers stroked again. Brokenly, I continued, "I want you." Her fingers became a little more insistent. Too much. I caught her wrist and kissed it gently, murmuring, "You overestimate my self-control, sweetheart and you are not even close to unclothed."

"Should I disrobe?" came her breathy reply. With a single tug at her one sleeve, the dress swiftly dropped like water. My mouth went dry at the sight. She hadn't worn anything underneath. No breast band. No underclothes. She stood there clothed only by jewellery, blue silk shoes with ribbons that came to her knee and firelight.

The urgency came again. With two strides, I pushed her upon the bed, covered her body with my own and feasted. Her arms locked around me, her body restless and eager. I took my fill.

Her scent swam in my head, I brought my mouth to suckle upon her breasts and her taste. Maker, her taste. I went from one breast to the other, her nipples pebbling almost instantly. Her hands caressed my back and as I touched her in kind, her body arched.

I tested her, she was wet and ready. Deliciously hot and needy. I pushed my finger into her, pressed against her barrier. Her eyes widened in shock and the knowledge that she had never been touched like this made me all the more aroused. Her moans filled the air. And all I could think about was how to make her moan louder, to make her need more. I didn't care if the Divine herself was standing outside the door. All that existed was Hales.

Her hands searched for me, stroked me, caressed and squeezed. Her touch ate through my self-control but I still held. I curled my finger inside her, making her mewl out, her head thrown from side to side. She cursed, a single oath spilled from her lips and my self-control snapped. I could wait no longer and plunged to the hilt.

Pain crossed her face and keeping myself from thrusting like the barbarian I felt, I distracted her with more pleasure. My fingers rolled and twisted at the button between the apex of her thighs and she was lost. Her hips came to me by their own accord.

I wanted her to want me, become crazed for me. I wanted to see her wild. I thrust deeply but slowly. She would feel every erotic inch of movement. Her fingers dug into my back, her legs came to wrap around me. As she quivered, trembled and shook, she needed no direction. Something primal had taken over and every secret she kept was laid bare before me.

An intimate rhythm took over, something so natural it was almost like breathing. As I made love to her, it was better than any dream, any fantasy. I was initiating a virgin but seduced by a desire demon. She reacted generously, shyly opening herself to me but it was also stunningly sexy. Our lips fused, a passionate tangle of tongue and lips.

Eventually, it became too much and overwhelming pleasure quaked our bodies until there was only her. Only ever her. I surrendered as she squeezed tightly, molten honey spilling from her core. I cried out her name, "Hales…" and panting, I tumbled over the edge and collapsed upon her. Euphoria washed over me, each wave greater than the last before slowly simmering down.

Hales was boneless beneath me, soft and pliant. Her face was glowing with dazed pleasure, her eyes heavy from our shared pleasure and just a sweet hint of a smile. I kissed her tenderly and murmured against her lips, "I love you, Hales. Only you. Always you."

"As I love you, Sebastian." She giggled, biting her lip to stifle the sound. I couldn't help but smile. There it was, the perfect moment I had been waiting so patiently for.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I'm still wearing my shoes." I reached for her ankles and unwrapped the ribbons that surrounded her calves, throwing her shoes over my shoulder as I replied, "That's not the only thing you're wearing." My fingers flicked at her earrings and then traced her necklace at her collarbone. I shot her a gratuitous smile, "What a painting you would make, naked save for your jewellery and boneless from pleasure."

I twitched whilst watching her, an ache building in my loins. It was to my discredit that I had only shown her one way of making love. I should have given her more.

She looked at me with curiosity, "Sebastian? What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

I lay myself between her legs and opened them, bending them at the knee. Starting at her knees, my lips descended, kissing a line to her inner thighs. I hummed in delight as she tensed and explained, "I find myself a poor lover for showing you so little about lovemaking. There is so much more…"

She rested on her elbows and whimpered as she watched me, "It is too much… I can't possibly…"

I smirked and nipped into the juncture where her legs met her body, "So innocent, my love. Let me show you that you can." I breathed against her sex, my fingers opening her folds. Our eyes locked and I promised, "And you will" before I licked with deliberate slowness. I watched her reactions with hooded eyes, watched her enjoy and endure helplessly. I wrapped my lips around her bundle of nerves and suckling, she screamed out in pleasure.

Pushing two fingers into her, her hips pushed up into my face. I feasted, devoured, she was addictive. Spicy and sweet. Raw and hot. She tasted so good that I pushed my tongue into her, tasting her at her core, at the source. She writhed, squirmed and bucked, almost at completion. I kept her upon the blade's edge, held her ever closer to release but never close enough. Her voice was ragged as she repeated my name like a prayer.

I asked her, "Are you aching?"

"So much", she sobbed out.

"So come for me", I demanded and gave a twist of fingers. Her moans halted for a second, her breath stopped and with a single suckle, her body arched like a well-strung bow, her muscles tensed and then she crashed.

I watched the tides of pleasure wash over her and palmed myself in my hands whilst sitting back. Hales slowly caught her breath, the movements of her chest decreasing in pace with time. Eventually, she sat up and crooked her index finger invitingly and I was hard pressed to refuse. I came to her and she surprised me by rolling on top, straddling my hips.

Her body stretched before me and she said, "I never knew you wanted me this much."

As she spoke, she rocked her hips. I could feel how wet she was, how slick and how ready to be taken she was. With a groan, I told her, "I haven't sated myself for days. There were nights which were spent fantasizing, my hands wrapped around myself and stroking until release but eventually, it was not enough."

She moved sinuously, like a snake, slithering down my body. With a seductresses' smile, her hands wrapped around me and languidly stroked. "Like this?" she asked.

I could not answer. I had no words. Her hands burned me like fire. I leaned into her touch, pushed my hips into her fists in an attempt to hasten the pace but she kept it slow. "Maker, Hales. Do not tease me so."

Her laughter toyed with me, the sound made my body shudder. "You would deny me the pleasure of touching you as I wished?"

She was to torment me and my hands dove into her hair, gripping the silky tresses. I growled at her, "You are a demon here to torture me."

She said, "What was that game Anders was telling Aveline about? Ah…that's right. The Upstanding Templar and the Desire Demon. Perhaps we should change that game? What do you say to The Upstanding Chantry Brother and the Treacherous Maleficar?" Hales playfully tugged me so I would look at her. Her lips were level with my erection and her tongue flickered at the tip before her lips wrapped around me wholly and sucked with a pressure that had me thrusting into her mouth.

Pleasure exploded. I was panting and breathless in a moment. Her mouth was the hottest, wettest and softest thing I had ever felt. Soft like velvet, smooth like silk. I throbbed but leaving her mouth to indulge in it another day, I dragged her up and flipped her upon her stomach, driving into her from behind.

I pulled her up, her head resting upon my shoulder and her back against my chest. I was too close. My shuddering hands ran down her breasts and stomach to toy with her until I could feel that telltale flutter from within. I plunged. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then spasms took over and the coil that was held so tightly within me sprang free. I fell into oblivion…

I felt Hales' warm body cuddling into me as I pulled the sheets over us but too tired for words, both of us gave into sleep. There were no words to describe how perfect it was.

* * *

><p>Sebastian thought it was perfect. What did you think? R&amp;R!<p>

Love, Ann


	20. Playing Twenty Questions

**Chapter 20: Playing Twenty Questions**

I woke before Hales, with the sun's rays catching over her face. It was still early, just a little after dawn. Hales was still sleeping, her body hadn't moved at all during the night and her face was still buried into my chest. Dropping a kiss upon her temple, I rose and she murmured.

"Shhh", I whispered, "rest. It is early yet, my love."

Within moments, she had fallen back into deep sleep. To my amusement, her jewellery was still on. I took care in removing her earrings and necklace, placing it on the bedside table before lowering myself into the bath that I'm sure Oranna had set up whilst we were still sleeping.

As I relaxed in the steaming water, I thanked the Maker for blessing me with such a woman. Hales was a wonder in my life and soon, she would not simply be a lover. She would be my wife and if she could manage, maybe even Princess.

It was that thought that pulled me out of the bath reluctantly. I had to see Elthina. I dried and dressed, albeit with some difficulty as I had to search for my clothes that had been flung around the room. I looked towards Hales. I hated to wake her, she needed sleep but I knew women enough to realize that she would be hurt to discover me gone when she woke.

I stroked her bare arm and murmured, "Good morning. Kiss me before I go?" whilst nibbling down her neck.

She mewled, her eyelids fluttering open. Her eyes were still deep with sleep and it took her a few moments to truly waken. Her first words were, "You're dressed."

"It is morning, my love. I thought that the best way to speak to the Grand Cleric."

A light giggle spilled from her lips and I requested, "Kiss me before I go."

Hales rose to sit upright and the sheet fell to her waist. My eyes skimmed down, I felt my jaw tense and heat curled within me. She waited for our eyes to lock before quirking an amused eyebrow and commenting, "Enjoying the view?"

I leaned forward to kiss her, my lips brushing hers then retreating before re-brushing again. Her arms locked around me and she pressed her breasts against my silk shirt, the coolness coaxing them to hardness. I groaned, "I will never speak to the Grand Cleric if you keep that up."

She laughed, her voice bubbling with happiness, "That's the idea but I suppose I should behave. We have things to do. You need to move your things here…"

As she said that, relief overwhelmed me. She really wanted to be with me forever. I began testing the silky weight of her breasts in my hands and tried to convince myself, "And I suppose we have the rest of our lives to indulge in pleasures of the flesh. I could wait till tonight…"

Sensing weakness, her fingers flicked upon the buttons of my shirt and we never ended up waiting at all.

It was almost noon before I stood before the Grand Cleric. She eyed me with a critical but amused eye and I almost squirmed like a child who had done a misdeed. Elthina could barely keep the mirth from her voice as she commented, "You haven't changed your clothes."

I slapped a hand to my face, unable to hide my embarrassment. She consoled me, "It is good that you've found someone."

I couldn't stop the blush that rushed to my cheeks and trying to straighten my clothes, I cleared my throat and started, "I have also found my place. My friends and I are leaving for Starkhaven. I will reclaim my land and rebuild. Goran has had ample time to rebuild the Magi Circle and the Templars and has done nothing. I will rectify this and the mages of our group will assist. They will be apostates no more and none will be endangered."

Elthina narrowed her eyes shrewdly, "You do not believe The Champion's status will protect her?"

I leaned onto the banister and commented, "Goran may cause trouble with Hales declining his proposal of marriage. From the way he spoke last night, he may just be petty enough to do so. Furthermore, I do not trust Meredith. She hates Hales with a passion. Given the opportunity to ruin her, I'm not certain Meredith would not exploit that. I am here only to request that you accompany me to Starkhaven. I will not have you unprotected here in Kirkwall."

There was a strange expression on Elthina's face as she said, "I did not give The Champion enough credit, it seems. She has given you the strength and will to decide for yourself. It is a change I find most refreshing. However, I will not be accompanying you to Starkhaven. My place is here, in Kirkwall and until the conflict between mage and Templar ceases, I will stay here."

I pleaded, "Elthina…"

She raised a hand to halt my protests, "Your concerns have always been heart warming, child but this is my place. I will not leave my flock. If you truly wish to help me, then ensure Starkhaven's success in balancing mage and Templar conflicts and when you have stabilized your nation, come and help Kirkwall."

I bowed deeply to Her Grace, knowing that I would never convince her. "I will do as you ask, Your Grace."

She pat my face as a mother would and smiled, "Go. Pack your things and don't come back until Starkhaven is secure."

I smiled to her, leaving for my room in the Chantry and I thought, just for a moment, that maybe she whispered in the air, "Princes were never made for chastity and you, my son, were made for greatness."

Looking in my old room, I felt strange – an odd combination of both reminiscence and excitement. I was ready to part ways with this room but yet had come to rely on the comforts of routine Chantry days. What happened next would be a mystery.

I packed my belongings and put them into Hawke Estate. Bodahn assured me, "I'll have these packed in Lady Hawke's room. You go off to do whatever you need to do." I thanked him and left for the Hanged Man.

Hales was late and everyone else had congregated in Varric's room. Isabela pounced, "So… what happeed?"

Varric hollered, "Choir Boy scored last night. Oh yes." My answering blush did nothing for my cause. There were more titters, questions and all I could do was smile in happiness and shake my head, "Not saying anything!" No one pressed for answers. All in all, everyone seemed tired. It was not so surprising, each had been tasked with something to do and some seemed to have had no rest.

When Hales arrived, she came with the leader of Red Iron, First Enchanter Orsino and Bethany. She motioned for everyone to sit down and offered me a wink. She began explaining, "Alright, everyone should already know First Enchanter Orsino. This other gentleman is Meeran, the leader of the Red Iron mercenary band. I've brought him along to help discuss our plans."

Fenris commented in a snide tone, "You'd trust your back with a cutthroat?"

Meeran defended, "Hey! You may not like what I do for a living but its kept families fed and clothed."

Hales interrupted, "Which is why you're here. If Sebastian is willing", she glanced at me briefly, "you and your men could be given honest jobs, proper wages and secure family welfare."

Meeran shrugged, "Seems good enough to me."

I frowned at his careless attitude and stated in an authoritative tone, "I'm not sure you understand the gravity of what is being considered here. You will be serving Starkhaven's Crown. Whilst well paid, side-line killing is not tolerated in the slightest. If you are to serve the Crown, you will swear an oath of loyalty. Treason is punishable by death. Are these the terms you can agree with?"

The man stood sharp and saluted with some amount of sincerity, "I understand, Your Highness."

I gave him a tight smile and nodded. Hales continued, "I hope you realize that you'll be going through your men and disposing of those that are not capable of loyalty?"

Meeran relaxed, "Yeah, Hawke. I know. I'll get right to it."

Nodding, Hales asked, "You have ships?"

"Yeah. I got two. Enough room for the men I've got in mind and their families. You lot will have to find another means of getting to Starkhaven."

Hales ordered, "Keep this quiet. I don't want the entire of Kirkwall knowing what we're up to. Keep me updated and tie up loose ends. You know where to find me."

The man drained his mug of ale and waved his hands at Hales, "Alright, alright. Keep your hat on. I'll get it done and be ready as soon as possible. Anything else I need to know or can I go?"

I uttered, "You'll speak to her with some semblance of respect as she will be ruling by my side."

Meeran blanched and stuttered, "Er… yes, of course. Your Highnesses. I'll take my leave now."

Hales hid her grin behind her hand as Meeran closed the door behind him. Eventually, she laughed out, "Was that necessary?"

I frowned in slight irritation, "It bothered me, the way he spoke to you. Yeah this. Yeah that. That's… awful."

Everyone sniggered or coughed to mask their laughter. Anders teased Hales, "So, coming up in the world, eh? Princess of Starkhaven?" I was surprised. Was he not in love with Hales?

Hales blushed and cleared her throat unnecessarily, "First Enchanter Orsino has a few words to say."

Orsino smiled and bowed his head respectfully before turning to us, "When The Champion told me of your plans to Starkhaven, I must admit that I found it risky and dangerous at best but as she explained to me that the Magi Circle needed to be rebuilt, I felt that this risk, personally, is one worth taking. Kirkwall has treated its mages very poorly and I'd like to make that difference in Starkhaven. I would be proud to join your nation, Prince Sebastian."

Hales nodded, "We'll need a First Enchanter, someone who understands the structure of the Magi Circle. Furthermore, he has loyal mages who learn under him such as my sister. I see no reason not to include them. Sebastian? Thoughts?"

I gave a resolute nod, "As long as this does not get out to Meredith, I am satisfied with these plans. First Enchanter Orsino, I must thank you for your efforts."

Orsino smiled, bowed and left to begin recruiting his students.

Hales turned to Varric, "Contacts?"

With a grin, he offered, "A few men, human and elf. Nothing as impressive as the Red Iron and Kirkwall mages but they are well-trained and honourable men."

"Merrill? Anders? All moved and accounted for?" asked Hales.

Each nodded their assent. She continued down her checklist, "Aveline? Any problems?"

"Donnic is more than willing to move with me. No news or rumours as to problems where Templars are concerned", said Aveline.

Anders offered, "I've been to see some of the magi families that were accused of apostates and were running for their lives. Justice says that they aren't Blood Mages and I'm sure they'll be of some use to us."

Fenris also nodded, "I accompanied Anders to the Magi retreat. They seemed trustworthy enough."

Hales turned to Isabela and before she could open her mouth, Isabela gushed, "There's a ship. An epic ship. A huge ship with a full crew of handsome sailors. It'll fit all of us and then a heap more. We just need to get Castillon off it and that's it!"

Hales smiled brightly, "Great! So, where's Castillon?"

Isabela's face fell and she sighed, "That's the problem. He's holed up somewhere and I can't find him. I do know where Velasco is though. That's his right hand. We just need him to tell us where Castillon is. Somehow." Isabela sighed again and looked at her feet.

Anders struggled with laughter, "What a plan! Your scheming ability puts me to shame."

Isabela protested, "I haven't worked out the kinks!" I thought that was the biggest understatement of the century. She continued, "Step one, we look for Velasco. Step two, something exciting happens. Step three, profit! Well, do _you_ have a better idea?"

Bethany offered, "Castillon is looking for her, right? Just dangle her in front of what's-his-name. Sister, you do what you do best and there we are, ship!"

Isabela continued, "And Hawke could follow me…Ooh, that's clever. I was going to suggest challenging Velasco to a riddle game and making 'Where's your boss?' one of those riddles. This is so much better!"

Hales smiled, a shrewd and speculative smile like she was ready to play an exciting game, "Ready when you are."

Isabela laughed and said, "Velasco spends his nights at the Blooming Rose enjoying its many splendours. We could check it out tonight?"

I couldn't believe how quickly our plan was coming together. An army was being built as we spoke. A ship was in the works. It was then I realized something: how were we going to get into the city?

I frowned, "We need to work out how to conquer the city. It won't be easy. I'd like to reduce casualties, if possible."

Hales turned her confident smile towards me, "I'm sure you'll work something out. We could buy a few maps, you could trace out some paths… but you know Starkhaven best, lo- er… Sebastian."

Everyone tittered at her stumbling. Varric wolf-whistled. Hales hid her face in her hands. From what I could tell, she was blushing heavily. Now that business had concluded, the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly. There were friendly teases and jeering from everyone as our fearless leader blushed like a child.

I moved to where she was, sitting beside her so she could hide her face in the crook of my shoulder. She did not disappoint. I held her tightly and kissed her temple until she was ready to reveal her face. How had I found this woman? This wonderful, intelligent, perfect woman. People talked about perfect hindsight. My woman had almost perfect foresight.

She told me, "You are trouble", it was affectionate but as I stared at her, thankful and shocked to the core that I could ever find such a woman, I forgot where I was. My hand cupped the back of her head and I brought her in for a long, heart pounding kiss. I thought of fireballs, earthquakes, flashes of lightening like the electricity that arced between Hales fingers when in conflict.

As we broke away, her face was flushed from my kisses and that moment was one I would remember forever.

* * *

><p>Awww... I wish I was Hawke. Please R&amp;R!<p>

Love,  
>Ann<p> 


	21. TwentyOne Whores and Sailors

**Chapter 21: Twenty-One Whores and Sailors**

When night fell, Hales went with Isabela to the Blooming Rose along with Aveline. I told her, "I am not leaving you alone. Not even for a second."

Hales tilted her head in response, more than happy for me to join. We left for the Blooming Rose, the local brothel and once there, Isabela pointed out a room. "That's his room."

Hales asked, "Are you ready?"

She sighed, "Yes, I think so." Taking a breath to steady her nerves, she ordered, "Now, this needs to be convincing. And you'll need to get creative… call me names, even hit me. Stick with it no matter what I do. Velasco's a clever son of a bitch. If you waver, he'll notice."

Hales smirked, "I'm worried about you. You're enjoying this a little too much."

Giggling, Isabela agreed, "I am, huh? Whatever you do just make sure he takes me to Castillon. I'll leave a trail for you to follow. Let's go."

Hales stared at the locked door. She muttered, "Being a mage has its difficulties", before lifting her robes and kicking the door open. The wood crunched and banged open. Inside was a man upon an elf, kissing. The elf ran off at the sight of Hales.

Velasco snarled, "Get back here, you. Skittish bitch. I hope you have a good reason for interrupting my private time."

With flippant tones, Hales gestured to Isabela and said, "Brought you a new plaything. She's much less timid."

Isabela spat out, "Are you insane?"

Hales eyed her with feigned amusement, "You should see that look on your face."

"This wasn't the plan! We were going to kill him!" yelled out Isabela.

"Whoops. Change of plan," said Hales, her tone cool.

Guards began taking Isabela by the arms and she struggled to keep up with pretences whilst shrieking, "You backstabbing little shit. You better start sleeping with one eye open."

Velasco threw Hales a coin pouch and she tossed it in the air, smirking at the heavy weight. He told her, "Castillon will be pleased. He's been looking for her for a long time. A token of appreciation, it's more than she's worth."

With Velasco gone, Hales motioned for us to follow. The Madame of the brothel screeched out, "What about my fucking door?"

Tossing the woman the coin pouch Velasco had given her, Hales didn't spare her a glance or even falter in her step. Something about her cold indifference fired up my blood. It was_ stylish_.

Isabela had lined the streets with her jewellery. Hales pointed every few minutes and picked up more of Isabela's belongings. As we got close to the Docks, her jewellery had run out. Her last earring was thrown carelessly at the base of the defeated Qunari statue. Hales pocketed it and looked around.

Aveline pointed out a blue scarf, "Isn't that her head scarf?"

Hales laughed in relief, "Thank the Maker, Isabela hasn't run out of her ideas."

Oh, she hadn't alright. Right outside of Castillon's compound, Isabela had managed to hang a scrap of cloth upon the doorknob.

Hales, with a grin, picked up the lacy scrap of cloth but did not comment. We went inside to hear Velasco's lewd offer, "Why don't we work something out? If you're good, I'll tell Castillon to go easy on you."

"Contrary to popular belief, I do have standards." Isabela was not tied up as expected.

"You're going to do whatever I want. I own you," said Velasco with a growling undertone.

Hales leaned over the banister and shouted, "You sure about that?"

Velasco yelled, "You! I knew the bitch was up to something! Kill-" I show my arrow straight through his eye-socket. His voice was grating upon my nerves.

The mercenaries were easy to dispatch. Hales actually managed a yawn half-way through the battle. When all fell to the ground, Isabela went in search of information. As she picked a lock to a chest, we found incriminating documents. Castillon was a slaver.

Castillon arrived soon after, "And Velasco told me you were all tied up, a lovely present just waiting to be opened. I see he's paid for that little mistake. What a pretty smear he makes."

His Orlesian accent set my teeth on edge and Aveline grimaced. He addressed Isabela, "Well played, Isabela. Crossed and double-crossed."

She whipped out the documents, "You want to talk? Maybe we should talk about these documents. Slavery in the Free Marches? They're not going to like that."

Her opponent was not pleased about her find, scowling out, "Get to the point."

The request was simple, "Give me your ship and your word to leave me alone. And you can take these papers and go."

Hales interrupted with irritation, "If you want his ship, can't we just kill him and take it?" I was inclined to agree and from Aveline's expression, she too was happier with that option.

"You don't just kill a man and take his ship. That's crude and amateurish." Isabela had chosen this moment to speak with honour? Damn her.

Sarcasm marred Hales' tone, "And you can trust a man who trades people for money? Wonderful."

"Castillon's a businessman and this is a business deal. He'll keep his end of the bargain." It was delivered as a threat towards the man. Isabela seemed determined to win the game.

Aveline asked, "What happened to getting rid of Castillon?"

Sharp with annoyance, Isabela answered, "I am getting rid of him. Through peaceful means."

"And coming from her, that's priceless," said Castillon.

"I saw the ship docked in the harbour. She is splendid. I want her." Isabela told him simply.

"Give me the documents and you can have ship and its crewmen. And you'll never hear from me again."

"Swear it."

Castillon bowed, "I swear upon my mother's grave. Give me the documents."

Though Isabela wanted this, she glanced over at Hales. Out of loyalty, perhaps. Hales crossed her arms and gave the resigned reply, "You've made your decision. Do as you wish, Isabela."

Colour returned to Castillon's face, "The ship is yours. Let me say, my dear, that you would make a remarkable ally for any man able to tame you. Our business is hereby concluded. Forever. Be well, Isabela."

As he walked away, Hales protested, "He didn't deserve to walk free."

Isabela smiled but it was with understanding and warmth. She touched Hales' arm, "He'll get what's coming to him, someday. Doesn't need to be at my hand. Come on."

Using only her index finger, that lacy scrap of material was lifted from her pocket. Hales asked, "Want this back?"

Isabela grinned and put her jewellery and clothes back on. Hales commented, "Didn't realize that scrap of material counts as underclothes but sure."

I whispered in my love's ear, "It's more than what you were wearing last night." She blushed and nudged me with her elbow. Isabela, who had caught enough of my words to piece things together, winked saucily.

Hales asked, "How does it feel to have finally gotten the ship of your dreams?"

Leering, Isabela beamed, "Better than three greased up sailors. I really should haul anchor tomorrow morning, first thing but I've taken a shine to some of the people in Kirkwall. I'll stick around until we get to Starkhaven, at the very least."

Things were really pulling through. Our army was coming together. We had already made some headway regarding the Magi Circle matter now that Orsino was to be joining us. And we had a ship. Everything was going smoothly.

Finally.

* * *

><p>Things are starting to come to a close for this fic. I'm thinking a few more chapters and maybe, even a sequel. I haven't decided.<p>

Let me know what you think!  
>Love, Ann<p> 


	22. TwentyTwo Days

**Chapter 22: Twenty-Two Days**

It took three weeks and one day exactly to set out to Starkhaven.

It took one week for Meeran and Orsino to pick out their various loyal followers.

It took one week for everyone to finish last minute business deals or in Merrill's case, finish her last quest for the mirror's sake. From what Hales told me, that had not ended well but at the very least, Merrill now realized the dangers of blood magic. Varric went back to Bartrand's estate to cure it of its haunted status before selling it.

It took one more week for everyone to finish packing their belongings upon the ship. Hales settled things with Bodahn, Sandal and Oranna. She promised them, "Feel free to make use of this house. I'm not selling it. I'll send your wages and visit often, as well as write. So Bodahn, it's up to you to check the letters." Hales packed her clothes. Everything else was left in the estate.

Aveline resigned as Captain as late as possible to avoid suspicion.

It took a day for our entire group to reminisce. We walked from Hightown to Lowtown to the Docks to Darktown. We visited the Black Emporium for last minute goods that could be required. We walked along the edges of the Wounded Coast. And when night fell, an entire army, our entire family smuggled out to sea.

No one knew of our leaving.

* * *

><p>I know this is an incredibly short chapter. It's supposed to be an interlude of sorts.<p>

Please R&R! Love, Ann


	23. TwentyThree Words for Her Hand and Heart

**Chapter 23: TwentyThree Words for Her Hand and Heart**

Isabela's new ship was more than splendid. It was beyond grand. I was certain that the ship was larger than the Starkhaven's Crown – the ship my parents had used when visiting foreign nations. I was also impressed by the calibre of sailors and crewmen on board. All were polite, resolute men who were well trained in the workings of a ship.

Seeing my surprised look at the greetings of "Your Highness", Isabela laughed at me and told me, "I do have good taste in men, sweet thing."

And below the deck were countless rooms decorated with a luxurious hand. Large, comfortable and wondrous. I saw Hales slip into our room with Bethany and leaving the girls to have some private time, I went up on deck to help as much as I could. It was pointless. Everything was already done. I simply sat and enjoyed the scenery that sailed by and also the people. This was my family now.

I still remember that moment. Varric trying to tell a poor joke with Merrill barely cracking a smile. I believe she found more humour from Varric's attempts not to laugh than from the joke itself. Aveline was dressed in civilian clothing, out of her awkward armour and curled into Donnic. Isabela and Fenris watched each other with intense eyes. The two shared an powerfully wild relationship that Hales was certain would culminate into love. Even Anders, for all our competing had become a brother to me.

He clapped a hand on my shoulder, "Feeling excited?"

I nodded, "Very much so but most of all, I just feel _good_. And it's all because of Hales. I don't know how I ever found her but she's brought me joy and family."

There was a gentle smile on his face, something I had rarely seen. Anders told me, "When she's around, Justice becomes quiet. He likes her, knows that she does the right thing. I can hear my thoughts. I can be me again. With Justice satisfied with us going to Starkhaven and rebuilding, I feel free."

It seemed like a good time to reach out, "Anders. I know we haven't always been on the best of terms but you should know that you're family."

He leaned against the ship's railings and nodded, "Brothers fight but we're still brothers," he looked up into the night sky and sighed, "Be good to her, Sebastian. She really is one of a kind."

I felt ashamed and confessed, "If I were in your shoes, I don't think I could be so gracious about this. You love her."

Anders faced me and he was right, he looked free, "I do love her but she loves me, too. Not in the way that I want but even a small portion of her love means so much. If I can have her in my life until the day I die, that would be the greatest gift she could ever give and it'd be far more than I'd ever deserve." He admitted, "And then there's Bethany…"

I chuckled, "Her sister?"

Anders grinned, unrepentant but a little sad, "She's not Hales but I am falling in love with her. She's so… innocent and sweet. And it feels good when she looks up to me as she does. That's why she and Hales are holed up in your bedroom."

We turned to the stairs where feminine chatters echoed up. Anders smiled a little weakly and I nearly laughed. Yes, family was wonderful. It would be chaotic and loud but warm and sweet.

Bethany and Hales came up the stairs. Bethany went to chatter with Isabela and Fenris whilst Hales walked towards us. There were no words which only made Anders blanch more. He eventually asked her, "No threats? No violence?"

Hales smiled, it was serene, sweet but knowing. She told Anders, "If I had to trust Bethany to someone, I would trust her with you. You're a good man, Anders. Why would there be threats or violence?"

"Aren't you worried I'll hurt her?"Anders asked with curiosity.

"I'm her sister. I'll always worry but I also know that nothing in life comes without pain. Things happen. People change. There's no accounting for that." Hales frowned a little and continued, "I know where your heart lies, Anders, even if Bethany doesn't but I know you'll never intentionally hurt her and that's all the guarantees there are in this world. I can't begrudge your or her happiness. Even if things don't work out, both you and Bethany have all of us. When things fall through, we'll be strong for both of you." Then she lifted her arms around his neck and hugged him close. Once more, Anders expression was similar to the one I had seen before when he was holding her as she cried in his arms, just before she disappeared. If he could, he would freeze the moment and have it drag out forever. He released her after a while and went to Bethany.

The night wore on, celebrations went all around. Orsino and his mages were happy to be away from Kirkwall, our group was fast pairing up into loving couples and everything seemed to be perfect. All of us knew it wouldn't be this way for long but there was no point in worrying. Obstacles would come when it did.

Then everyone turned in. The night became quiet. The fire that had been going was extinguished. A few crewmen were still at the bow of the ship but other than that, Hales and I were alone.

She turned her eyes to the sky, watching the moon reveal itself. The ocean breeze fluttered through her hair and clothes and it was then that I noticed what she was wearing. A simple white dress bared her shoulders and draped to her knee. It was loose, soft and I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind. There was no robe, no armour and no stave to hinder me.

She whispered, "Look at the moon. Its round, complete, perfect. Kind of like all of us, together on this ship. Sometimes I feel bad for what I've done to Anders and the effect it's had and will have on Bethany but I can't deny what's in my heart. I love you… and I'd do anything for you."

I kissed the top of her head, curling her underneath my chin. "There was very little you could do. You can't help how people feel about you. You're simply too special not to fall in love with. I'm just glad I can call you mine."

She turned in my arms and her arms came around my neck. Her lips sought mine and we shared a kiss, a romantic moment that existed only for us as lovers. "I love you, Hales Hawke. I always will."

I reached into my pocket for a box that had burned a hole into my clothes after keeping it there for at least a week. I opened it and revealed its contents. A blue diamond embedded within a white gold setting. Her breath caught and staring into her bewildered eyes, I told her, "Right now, we're in the ocean. We're not in Kirkwall or Starkhaven. We're on some middle ground, on equal footing, somewhere that we can rightfully claim as shared. And right here, right now, there's no background noise. No pressure. No duty. Nothing except you and me."

I knelt upon one knee and gazed up at her with adoration, "So it's here that I want you to know that I give you my heart, my life and my soul. Its here I want to ask, will you give yourself to me? Will you let me love you for as long as I draw breath? Will you marry me?"

Shock and surprise glinted in her eyes but they soon gave way to love and hope. She whispered, "Yes Sebastian Vael, I will marry you."

I took the ring from its velvet box and slipped it upon her left, ring finger. The diamond glinted under bright moonbeams and I stood up, dipping my head to hers for a kiss. A single finger pressed at my lips and she said, "Before you kiss me, you need to know one thing."

It was then that fear began to bubble just under the surface, "Yes?" I asked with apprehension.

"Kirkwall isn't home anymore. Starkhaven might be home but it might not be, either. You're home. It doesn't matter where I am. Where you are, that is home."

Overwhelmed by her words, the fear swept away. Then suddenly, there was love, boundless love and our lips met. It was pleasure of a different kind. There was time, time that could be filled with sweetness, kindness and love. There was no urgency even though fire leapt within me, there was wonder.

As we slipped into bed, there was a warm, golden glow about the night. Everything was quietly and sensually beautiful. As we kissed deeper, there was only tenderness. I remember how her body melted, soft as butter. I remember how she surrendered, total surrender so wondrous that my throat constricted and ached with it.

She was everything. And I touched her until she had no doubts as to my feelings. I worshipped her. Beyond the sizzling passion, beyond the erotic desire was a merging of souls. A love shared that was so pure that nothing could ever tear us apart.

I savoured slowly. I shared with her all that I was. And each sigh that came from her filled me all the more with thankfulness, gratitude, appreciation that she was mine. I loved her slowly. My fingertips sliding all over her smooth and silk-like skin, arousing, pleasuring and oh yes, we pleasured one another and it was staggering. Shattering.

As I slid into her, I enveloped her in my arms just as she cradled me from within. Each stroke was a sweep of never ending sensation. I stared into her eyes, remembering how hard I had once fought for life, for freedom, for anything. But with her in my arms, I had all. In her eyes was the entire world and the entire world rose to greet me.

A glorious tidal wave coerced, persuaded and we soared, taking flight from the pleasure. We whispered words of love before yielding to sleep, our bodies intertwined.

* * *

><p>AN: I have to admit that when I wrote this, I felt really emotional. What did you think?

Love, Ann


	24. To Stage A Coup In One Day

**Chapter 24: To Stage a Coup in One Day**

During our three days of sailing, I had time to plan the changes I would make in my city. I discussed with Hales at length about certain ideas: educational systems, progressive taxing and the like. However, we still needed to design a plan of attack. Three well stocked ships full of mages and mercenaries was bound to cause problems. Not having lived in Starkhaven for so many years, I had no ideas about how to conquer the city with minimal casualties.

Our three ships split up. Each would arrive in consecutive days to minimise suspicion. Isabela's ship docked first. We came in late at night, everyone dressed in sailor uniforms as a single guard patrolled our ship. With our faces hidden, he never knew that an ex-Prince, The Champion of Kirkwall and countless mages were aboard the ship.

Orsino and the mages stayed aboard the ship. Our group of nine went into the city without problems. We dressed into inconspicuous clothing such as hooded robes and scouted the city with as little armour as possible.

There were so few guards. With the Circle of Magi and Templar order inexistent after their destruction in 9:30 Dragon, the only security in the entire were the Guards and even they were few and far between. Everywhere I turned, there was poverty. Everywhere I looked, there was crime. The people turned to desperate means for food and shelter.

Though I had visited my Grandfather in Starkhaven Chantry not too many weeks before, I had not seen this. I had seen the deprived. I had seen only the inside of the Chantry, spent one night in my Grandfather's rooms and smuggled out the next night. I had been blind to the suffering of my people. How had Goran ruled for so long?

The answer was soon clear. Corruption. The nobles were given a life of wealth and opulence. They were given land, mansions, estates… over three quarters of the entire city belonged to the rich. We scouted towards the Starkhaven Castle and there they were – all the guards that should have been patrolling the city. Many citizens, mostly the poor, were at the front gates, yelling and screaming. It was the beginning of a revolution. The guards stood like a solid wall and when on occasion, a citizen made it through the partition of guards, they were quickly caught and struck with brutal cruelty.

Varric had asked with sarcasm, "So this is the great city that we're going to be living in?"

I had not replied. Righteous anger rushed through my veins. Seeing my expression, Hales comforted, "We will find a way to restore it to its previous magnificence. Do not fret."

I cursed, "Goran is fast becoming a blight upon the Vael line. He has eradicated everything the Vael's stood for: honesty, equality. This is _unacceptable_."

Our group exchanged looks with wariness. I stalked towards the guard, anger clouded my mind and I would have killed each and every one of them. Hales' hand stopped me. It was like a cool breeze that undid my anger. She whispered, "That's why we're here but you do no one any good by being overwhelmed. There are too many guards. We'll need to find another way in."

Grandfather. He would know. I told everyone, "I need to see Grandfather. He's in the Chantry."

Anders offered, "We can all wait on the ship. We don't want a huge group of people just walking into the Chantry. They'll think we're about to attack."

I shrugged, "I can smuggle us in but perhaps you are right, a group of two or four can be unseen. Any more and we might catch someone's attention."

Fenris suggested, "You and Hawke should go. We'll wait on the ship and lay low."

I turned to Hales and asked, "Do you need your staff?"

She flipped the hood of her robe over her head and subtly flashed me a silver glint of her belt. The dagger I had given her. She was already armed. With a minuscule movement of her head, the group took that as the signal to leave for the docks. Hales and I walked towards the Chantry, passing through the better districts. Fountains of ivory, paths of marble greeted us. Tall, white towers stood proud against the sky. Her hand found the crook of my elbow and she murmured, "This city will be radiant once more."

The Chantry was empty. There were a few cloistered sisters, Mothers but of course, no Grand Cleric. We sat in a row of seats, as though in prayer as a few guards were walking out. I nodded to Hales and we rose from the seats, sneaking up the stairs into the dormitory areas. With the knowledge of my Grandfather's room from the previous visit, it took little time to reach the door. As Hales watched the area, I picked the lock with relative ease and both of us waited within.

Once inside, we both breathed a sigh of relief before breaking into fits of childish giggles. It was almost like a game as though we were running from our parents, each of us having done a misdeed. Unceremoniously, I slumped against the wall from breathlessness. I asked her, "How is it you bring me so much joy even when we're tasked with the impossible?"

She didn't have a chance to answer. The knob toggled and with a finger to my lips, I whirled Hales to the wall to hide behind the door as it opened.

My Grandfather's brogue held an exasperated but warm tone, "I know you're here, Sebastian. I did teach you how to pick a lock. Reveal yourself."

I closed the door for him to expose ourselves. Grandfather watched Hales with an amused glint in his eye. He asked me with pointed look, "Who is our lovely guest?" He knew who she was, of course. Hadn't I spent an entire night describing her extraordinary beauty?

I grinned and bowed mockingly, "May I present, The Champion of Kirkwall, Lady Hales Hawke."

Hales nearly smiled from my impertinence but managed to stifle a laugh as she dropped into a graceful and deep curtsy, murmuring with noble air, "Your Highness."

My Grandfather chortled and reached for her arms, pulling her up straight. "Oh my dear, there is no need for such formality. I knew who you were. Sebastian has spent much time yapping and sulking over you."

A teasing smile stretched over her mouth as she asked in a speculative tone, "Sulking you say? And yapping? Really?"

Grandfather chuckled some more and said, "Oh yes. He spent an entire night talking about you." Turning to me, he added with a wink, "I must say lad, you have my absolute approval. Why, were I forty years younger…"

I blushed, rooted to the spot as Hales giggled. I protested quietly, "I did talk about Starkhaven, too."

He waved my words aside and his voice boomed out with sarcasm, "Yes, Starkhaven was all over your mind. Hales this. Hales that. Stark- Oh wait, Hales."

Hales covered her face to hide her laughter and I too, succumbed. Eventually, we all sobered and my Grandfather asked, "So what are the two of you doing here in Starkhaven?"

We sat down upon the chintz chaise as I replied, "We're here to unseat Goran Vael. We've got an army coming, a First Enchanter and a handful of mages, our entire group of companions… we just need a way into the castle. It's too heavily guarded."

Grandfather nodded, "You're sure you want to do this? Lad, leading a nation is not easy."

I scowled, "Evidently."

He shrugged with acquiescence, "Goran has done a poor job of ruling. That is true. That doesn't mean you'll do any better, son. I know you have all the best intentions but-"

Hales interrupted, "We have plans to restore the Circles of Magi as well as the Templar Order. That's part of the reason why First Enchanter Orsino is with us. He knows how the Circle is run. The Templar Order was an absolute disgrace in Kirkwall but it is by no means, a useless force. Furthermore, Anders is working upon a new educational system for all mages alike and if it proves successful, I was going to discuss with Sebastian about a nationwide educational system."

I nodded, "Also, the nobles have too extensive a reach and ownership of Starkhaven. I have been attempting the designs of a new tax system. It is not yet complete but we do wish to make it progressive such that proportionally speaking, the more income earned, the more tax is paid."

He smiled and waved his hands, "You have both convinced me. Now, you said you needed a way into the castle?"

I added, "Preferably unseen where we can surprise Goran and minimise casualties."

Hales commented, "Elissa told me that there existed underground tunnels that led to her Denerim palace. Is there anything similar here?"

Grandfather removed the ring upon his finger engraved with the Starkhaven crest. He nodded, "There are many but Goran had all but one blocked. There is a escape tunnel meant for the royal family leading from behind the Andraste statue in the Throne Room to-"

I interrupted, "I remember it. The other entrance is here, in the Chantry. The wall of the confessional is a panel that slides away."

Grandfather offered the ring to me. He said, "That wall has a Starkhaven flag covering it. Underneath is a tiny imprint. You push this ring into the imprint and the panel opens."

As I took the ring and slipped it upon my finger, I asked, "Do you know how many guards are patrolling the castle?"

He shook his head, "Goran has me visit often and there are none. All the guards are stationed along the castle's perimeter. You will have no trouble getting in."

Hales leaned forward, her elbows upon her knees, "We still need to find a way to smuggle over fifty of Meeran's men into the Chantry. Aside from that, we need to find a way to make Goran sign over his unconditional surrender."

I snarled, "That's simple. We'll threaten to kill him. It's no more than he deserves."

She shook her head, "No, Sebastian. Starkhaven has too many nobles to consider. It will breed distrust. We'll need a bloodless coup that is supported by a threat of violence. Meeran and the mages will of course provide the latter."

I considered the options, "We could exploit a weakness. We have a lack of resources. Kirkwall, without a Viscount, has stopped trading with us."

There was a calculative smirk on her face, "What you also lack is staffing. Lack of guards. Lack of Templars. There are mages in Starkhaven who have no place. Apostates are running around everywhere. Throw in threats of blood mages from Kirkwall – when it comes to nobles, what scares them more than magic? It's the very thing they can't control because they want to keep it out of their bloodline. Throw in that you've brought an army that is ready to serve the citizens and nobles of Starkhaven and they'll surrender."

I nodded, "The pompous asses will recognize a threat when they hear one, concealed though it may be. Now, we just need an occasion."

Grandfather told us, "It seems you came right on time, then. There's an assembly tomorrow morning."

Hales and I looked at each other. She said, "We've got all night to prepare. We could smuggle Meeran and his men in. One at a time."

I shook my head, "The Chantry isn't really that heavily guarded and the confessional is close enough to the double doors. A few men at a time wouldn't be too difficult. We'll stay in the Throne Room the entire night and keep the men hidden as best as we can. Reveal if necessary."

Grandfather listened to us with faraway eyes before saying, "Ah… the world's best kept secret: behind every successful man is a strong woman."

I told him, "I was blessed with such a woman", I crooked my fingers to Hales. She came to me without hesitation, her head upon my shoulder. As she moved, her robes opened and Grandfather's eyes honed in upon the dagger. Recognition sparked in his eye. He gestured to it and Hales stood to pass the dagger, "Sebastian gave it to me before my fight with the Arishok. He hoped the Maker would watch over me. I hope you don't mind, Your Highness."

Grandfather's eyes warmed and he fingered the dagger with reverence before tying it back upon her belt. "It has served you well. I am glad for you to have this," he began before embracing her, "Welcome to the Vael family, Hales. And it is Nicholas. Not 'Your Highness'."

She beamed at him before saying, "Then Nicholas, I suggest you keep an alibi tonight. We wouldn't want you to be implicated."

The three of us shared smiles, laughter and many stories until the sun set. To my embarrassment, Grandfather told my love all the times I was in trouble.

"He was a rascal! Always in trouble with his parents. Sneaking out of his bedroom at night, stealing food from the larder… and when he grew up, oh! Sowing his wild oats and landing himself into conflict with men constantly."

Hales had tutted me with affection, "Such a bad boy. Always up to no good."

I teased back, "I didn't hear you complaining last night."

She blushed, nudging me in the ribs before stating with a sniff, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Grandfather roared with laughter. As we talked, I couldn't help a thought spill into my mind: what a wonder it would be when Hales and I had children, filling our lives with more countless stories.

When the sun finally fell beneath the horizon, I embedded a single arrow into the wall and tied a piece of rope to it, throwing it out the window. It reminded me of a time when I had attempted escape from the Chantry thanks to Elthina's note. I thumbed the rope fondly. That was almost a lifetime ago.

Hales peered over the edge and asked with some apprehension, "So, what is it that I'm supposed to do?"

I smiled with a challenge hidden in my eyes, "You're supposed to spend a moment in the life of a rogue."

Her answer was dry, "Well if I'm to spend the rest of my life with you then that could hardly be called a moment."

I jeered, "Impertinent little coward."

Grandfather stifled a chuckle before telling me, "It is good she is such a handful. She'll keep you on your toes. Now, be on your way. I need to search for an alibi."

I sat upon the edge of the open window, holding the rope tightly. I told her in a reassuring tone, "Wrap your arms around my neck. I won't drop you."

With a nod, she steeled herself towards kneeling upon the window pane and wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. With a hand supporting her back, I leaned back, allowing gravity to do as it would. We dangled for a moment, suspended in the air and Hales gave a light whimper. I breathed into her ear, "I love you. Fall for me," and loosened my grip on the rope, sliding down to the ground with relative ease and safety.

Once upon the ground, Grandfather loosened the arrow and rope and collecting it, Hales and I ran for the docks. Meeran's ships had docked in the afternoon. I quickly informed everyone of what was happening, "Everyone head for the Chantry. There's a panel in the confessional that opens up a tunnel leading to the castle."

I ordered, "Meeran, organise your men into small groups. I'll leave the panel open. Smuggle a few men at a time. Everyone must be in the castle before the morning assembly."

He saluted, "Understood, Your Highness."

I turned to Orsino, "First Enchanter, when Meeran is done, organise your mages. Again, smuggle a few at a time."

Everyone left for the Chantry. I marked a safe path that led directly to the Chantry without alerting any of the guards standing along the perimeter of the castle that stood close by. I asked Fenris, "Will you signal the men to come into the Chantry when appropriate?" He nodded, "Of course."

Along with the rest of the group, I opened up the confessional panel and we walked through into the tunnel. It was incredibly dark and so, Anders would light a small flame every so often to assist. The path led to a small trap door above our heads. Pressing the ring into the corner of the trapdoor, the wood creaked open.

The Throne Room was dark and empty. No guards, as promised. It was as I remembered. In front of the Andraste statue were two marble seats, engraved and embedded by gems and jewels. It glittered in the dark. As Anders lit the torches in the room, the pillars along the edges of the room revealed themselves. All the sides were rows of seats for nobles and merchants and right down the middle of the room was a lush, blood red carpet.

Over the night, men and mage drifted into the room in consistent streams. There was nothing to do but wait. Even still, everyone was nervous. I could _smell_ the adrenaline flowing off from all my companions. No one dared to talk in case anyone was alerted to our presence.

It was not until Orsino arrived that he cast a calming spell upon all of us. He spoke with tranquil tones, "Peace, my brethren. Do not wear yourselves out from nervousness." It seemed to do the trick. Many sat, leaning upon the pillars. However, the atmosphere did not relax until Fenris closed the trapdoor behind him. He whispered, "All the men are present. The panel is closed and no one in the Chantry was alerted to our presence."

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. We had hours till dawn and gathering Hales into my arms, we rested for a while. I drifted in and out of sleep.

Images of failure, blood and fighting came to my dreams. My friends lay dead. I saw a bled out Aveline lying on the floor with a crying Donnic. I heard a weak voice in my dream, "Sebastian…" Hales, battered and broken like in her fight with the Arishok, she whispered, "I'm sorry, my love. Maybe I shall see you by the Maker's side?"

I was jolted awake. Gentle hands caressed my face and hushing sounded in my ears. My eyes found hers. Hales watched with worried eyes, "Shhh… it was only a dream." With a half-groan that sounded desperate to my own ears, I pulled her tighter in my arms.

"I dreamt of you injured, bleeding and I couldn't help you." My mind went into a whir of panic, "What if it doesn't work? I can't risk your life."

She whispered, "Nobles don't bring weapons into court, Sebastian. We have a hundred men to protect us, both mage and warrior alike. You are worrying over nothing."

I couldn't ease the worry I felt and seeing my stubborn expression, she tilted my head to face her, "I promise you that we'll get through this together. Won't you kiss me?"

Our lips met and in an instant, my unease faded. I tasted her sweetness and smiled. She teased, "You really are a ladies' man, using a line like 'fall for me' whilst jumping out a window."

I chuckled, feeling her laughter vibrate against my chest and told her, "I am your man now. No lady has me but you. I will stay faithful to you through all the years of our lives."

When dawn came, our army was reordered and stood in rows along the edges of the room. I sat upon the Prince's throne, surrounded by our companions. I motioned for Hales to sit on the throne beside me but she shook her head, "I am still an apostate. Let's not complicate today's matters."

I hated how she was placing herself in the sideline. If anyone deserved recognition, it was she. However, I trusted in her counsel and left the matter alone. It was the nobles that filtered into court first. One look at me and speculative chatter rampaged through the room. I heard Donnic snicker behind me, "Can't keep their mouths closed for a moment, the gossipers."

Aveline acknowledged her husband's words, "It's nothing atypical. I'm sure they've developed depraved stories about Goran's untimely death by now."

The guards came next but with one step into the room, they stopped short. Each turned to look at Goran and then back to me. There was more chatter before Goran tore through the guards, stomping into the room red in the face.

He shrieked, "What is the meaning of this?

I was calm, "I did warn you of this, cousin. I am here to unseat you. You will sign over Starkhaven's unconditional surrender to me and I will rule, as I should have as the first in line."

Goran spat at me, "And if I do not? You will slit my throat?"

I crossed my legs and leaned back, tutting him, "I am not here to kill you. If I wanted to do that, I would already have. I've had ample time, seeing as I was here all night."

Some of the nobles tittered, surprised by my stealthy ability. I turned to the nobles and addressed them, "I am here to garner the support of the nobles. If they support me, you will be given no real choice."

My cousin laughed. Through his broken _giggles_, he asked me, "You think you can offer them more than what I have? I have their _unconditional_ support, cousin. I suggest you turn away lest I leave the guards to deal with you."

I smiled, a cold and insincere stretch of my lips, "And you will find out just how conditional their support is cousin. What if I could offer more?"

Some of the nobles watched me with interest. Temptation was clear on their faces. I lured, "What if I can offer security? No apostates. No blood mage refugees from Kirkwall. The Templar Order restored. The Circle of Magi restored. What if I could introduce a way that would stop the citizens from rebelling against the nobility? They do knock at your doors, no? Threatening to trespass upon your land?"

An older man stood to address me. I recognized him. Lord Argeneal. He was very loyal to my parents. With a bow, he asked, "Some of the nobles in this court have recognized that Starkhaven has become a land of shambles. You speak of improvements but how do you propose such arduous tasks?"

Goran threatened, "Lord Argeneal, you shall hold your tongue. I am Prince, not he. You will do well to remember who you serve."

Lord Argeneal insulted, "I have served Prince Nicholas and his successor, Prince Alan. I hold loyalty to Prince Sebastian before I hold it to you, Prince Goran. If Prince Sebastian offers a better use of this land, he has _my_ unconditional support."

I addressed his Lordship, "Perhaps you would like to turn your attention to the men I have with me."

I gestured with my hand and all around the room, Meeran's men stepped forward as First Enchanter Orsino emerged with his mages. As the nobles gasped in fear, I raised my hand to stem the sounds of conversation. "These men are ready to serve the citizens of Starkhaven under the employ of the Crown. Orsino was First Enchanter in the Kirkwall Circle and has full, extensive knowledge of its structure and command. There are of course, other proposed changes. I am making progress with my counsel in designing a balance of power between both Templar and mage in order to prevent the problems present in Kirkwall. I also propose changes in education and trade. Need I say more?"

Lord Argeneal smiled and nodded his head with respect, "You have my support, Prince of Starkhaven. I am sure that my acquaintances who share my views will support you as well."

As he spoke, many of the older nobles stood to issue their support. These were sincere and I made sure to remember their faces. They would be loyal, they would be of use to the city.

The rest of the nobles stood. Some seemed convinced. Some were reluctant. They would be problems but with my Grandfather, Hales and a strong group of friends, I was certain that I could rule with a steady hand.

Goran had no choice. He signed over his unconditional surrender. I assured him, "You will live a good life, Goran. I cannot have you influencing the court negatively and so, I will order you to the Chantry but you will live a charmed life."

Under my Grandfather's watchful eye, I was certain that Goran would cause limited problems.

In the days that came, there was progress in all aspects of Starkhaven. Meeran and his men's inclusion into the guard restored order almost overnight. Under the Guard-Captain Aveline's watchful eye and kind coercions, many citizens were willing to return home and not cause trouble in the hopes of actual change. Donnic served as her right hand and security was brought back to the land. Crime dropped.

Much of the land that had been wrongly given to the nobles was returned to the Crown and these were returned to the citizens of Starkhaven. In a few weeks, the citizens returned to their natural tasks of farming and shepherding their animals. Grain was grown. Food was slowly restored.

Many of buildings in Starkhaven had been torn down and as they were rebuilt, I had Varric oversee the contracts and commerce. He had much to do, often bustling from place to place to inspect and critique.

The Circle of Magi tower was slowly repaired and its structure was re-established. Mages were required to register with First Enchanter Orsino. Anders, Bethany and Hales developed a new educational system for mages though from Bethany's comments, most of the ideas belonged to Hales.

Hales decided that to rip mages from their families did not give the support structure that every healthy being required. Classes were made compulsory but mages could return home every night. To prevent the use of blood magic, Hales encouraged Merrill to speak of her past experiences and the horrors she had to face. Merrill was of course, given immunity from her past crimes and the mages were educated about the dangers of blood magic rather than coerced under duress with threats of death.

With all the mages of our group committed to the reinstatement of the Circle of Magi, they were apostates no more.

The Templar Order was also reinstated, much to Anders' annoyance. There was a week when Anders refused to speak to us, too angry to be reasoned with. Hales gave him that week to simmer down. After that, she slammed his door open and yelled until he listened.

"Anders! You will listen to me and you will listen well. I am a mage. I understand the risks of Templars. I am trying to eliminate those risks. You don't make anyone's life easier by refusing to speak out."

He had shouted back, "The Templars have too much power over mages. Remember Kirkwall? Night time raids on families. Holding mages in cages and drained of their magic. You remember Alrik? I still have those documents. The Rite of Tranquility," he spat.

Hales nodded, "I know which is why I've put all Templars under Fenris' command."

"Fenris!" Anders had snarled, "Of all the people."

Soothing, Hales replied, "He understands now. If anyone knows how important it is to balance power and rights, it is Fenris. He knows that mages aren't always dangerous and he'd never tolerate abuse of power by Templars. This is worth trying. Nothing is perfect in a day."

I interrupted and got straight to the bottom line, "Hales is encouraging a partnership between mage and Templar. The Templars keep the blood mages out but mages are encouraged to speak out if there is even a glimmer of abuse. And unless there is solid evidence that a mage has committed blood magic, there is no punishment. Innocent until proven guilty, Anders."

That calmed him completely. He looked at Hales with a dumbfounded expression, "Why didn't you just say that?"

She threw a punch at his shoulder, "Because you were acting like a psychopathic maniac and I was trying to explain everything."

He apologized, "I'm sorry. Justice and I thought-"

Hales threw at him, "You thought I'd encourage a Templar to go off and rape mages. That's what you thought."

She refused to speak to him. He wheedled, grovelled and pled for days before she softened and gave up. They regained their friendly camaraderie soon after and it was like it had never happened at all. Anders was happy after that; he was free from the spirit of Justice and Vengeance. Apparently, with the mages being given proper lives, Justice became very quiet, giving suggestions only when necessary. Both he and Bethany often taught at the Circle, educating young minds and over a few months, their romance bloomed.

I turned towards Starkhaven's economy. We lacked trade. Through Hales' connections with Queen Elissa of Ferelden, trade flourished. Isabela had shipped both Hales and I to Ferelden to sign treaties of trade. We spent two weeks there, luxuriating in the freedom.

As Elissa and Hales discussed the details, I had much time to converse with Alistair. He asked me, "Does she have all the good ideas to?" whilst referring to Hales.

I nodded, "I can't believe how her mind works. It's always meticulous."

Alistair had laughed and clapped a hand on my shoulder, "Yes, I believe I know what that feels like. Elissa is the same way." He spoke with wonder, "It's as though she can analyse every situation, bring out the best solution and all I do is stand around, help out if necessary and look pretty!"

We allowed the women to discuss and apparently, it was decided that Ferelden and Starkhaven would trade without taxes or tariffs. Each nation would focus on particular items of production and trade to reduce costs. It would improve standard of living, so I was told.

Our family was happy. Everyone had something to do in Starkhaven to keep ourselves busy but we also had time to rejoice in our lives.

As Prince, I had an immense room and it was shared with her. To my amusement, though her closet was just as large as mine, in time her clothes had managed to creep into my closet as well. I would tease her endlessly over that.

During the nights, we had personal time. We had time to talk as lovers did. We would discuss our worries. We had each other. We relied on one another for strength. When we were tired, we held each other in sleep. Other nights, we made love until the world shattered around us. The sky could fall, lightening could strike us both but nothing would exist outside of our love. It was exquisite.

Those were the wonderful days. And I was glad for those days as those memories sustained me in the dark days that came. What Hales and I had… well, things took a turn for the worst before they got better.

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><p>AN: Well, what did you guys think? Please R&R!

Love, Ann


	25. TwentyFive Lines in a Letter

**Chapter 25: Twenty-Five Lines in a Letter**

Things in Starkhaven had been improving. Though it was slow and gradual, the changes were noticeable even from day to day. As spring drew to an end, summer blossomed. The Starkhaven hills bloomed with wild, white Andraste's Grace until most of the hill was covered in speckles of white and green.

I had decided that it was high time to introduce Hales as my betrothed. She would be Princess of Starkhaven and she would rule beside me. That's when problems arose. I had underestimated Goran's influence. No matter how much good Hales had done the nation, she was still a mage. Most of the nobles had simply refused to accept and support her because it encouraged the breeding of magic within noble families. This was something they found unacceptable.

I had, of course, raised the point that Goran had been more than willing to overlook that issue but they deflected by saying that Goran had never announced his engagement to The Champion and had told the court that The Champion was not particularly impressive. And though many of those nobles that were truly noble to me stood firm in support, they were not the majority. I could not marry Hales without risking being overthrown.

Through all this, Hales had no complaints. She told me, "Does it matter whether we are wed? We belong together. The nobles won't begrudge you a lover."

That had me steaming at the ears, how could she say that? I had been rough with her. I shook her and told her, "Without you, there is no Starkhaven today. Those nobles sit on their haunches and criticize you! How could you let them do that? How could you say 'does it matter whether we are wed'? It matters and you know it. I will have you, Hales Hawke. I will have every part of you."

Frustrated by my inability to see reason, she told me vehemently, "You have every part of me! Every part of me is yours and you know that but this is about the lives of countless citizens! How could I outweigh all of them?"

I vented out my aggravation upon her, "There is no 'them' without you. And I will have you recognized for your efforts."

She had rolled her eyes at me, "So this isn't about you having every part of me. It's that you want me recognized for the things I've done. I appreciate that but it isn't necessary. Would you really shake the worlds of countless citizens all for me?"

I had grabbed her with rough hands, kissed her until her lips were bruised before telling her, "Yes. I will fight everyday until your name is Hales Hawke Vael. I will fight with those blasted nobles until they understand."

"I am not worth that."

Hearing that made me feel so conflicted. She was a giving woman. Too giving. She would sacrifice herself, her well-being for Starkhaven and I felt so appreciative of that fact but I also felt angry at her. Why didn't she fight for us the way I was trying to?

A few nights after that came another day of useless arguing with the nobles. They had insisted that they had the utmost respect for Hales but did not feel she had the right to be Princess. They had "no issues with The Champion being a Counsellor for she is evidently an incredibly intelligent woman and an asset to Starkhaven but she is still a mage and as such, she has no right to be Princess."

Hales was already in our bedroom, clothed only in a silk robe that was left undone. She was staring out the window as I stepped into the room.

She asked, "So what happens if I am not Princess?"

I told her with conviction, "I will undo everything Starkhaven has. I will not rest until you are beside me upon the throne."

Her voice was soft, serene but no less impacting, "You do yourself, me and our friends a disservice. What happens if something happens to me? What happens if an accident happens or I die from a disease? Is that what you will do in response? Tear down Starkhaven because I am no longer in the world. You couldn't. You shouldn't. I understand your fighting for me. I have longed for a man who would fight for me as you have. I would never ask you to stop fighting for me but you can never undo the good that's been done for the city. Promise me that you won't."

I had bowed my head in shame and answered thickly, "I promise."

The room was silent for a while and I continued, "I promised you that I would stay faithful to you all the years of our lives. Even if you are by the Maker's side, I will honour that vow."

"For my sake, do not honour that. Should something happen to me, I want you to find happiness. Even if it is with another woman."

I shook my head, though she could not see, "There will never be another but you." Curiosity got the better of me and I could not shake off the feeling of unease, "Why are you saying such things, my love? Are you sick?"

She shook her head, her mane of hair shaking this way and that, "I am not sick. I am perfectly healthy. I simply want you to be happy, no matter what happens."

I had felt relief flow through me and smiling I had sighed out, "You have given me too much for me to never have joy. Family, success in Starkhaven…I will never be without joy but I know I will miss you everyday. I know that I will be much happier with you than without," her countenance did not change and there was something not quite right and so I asked, "do you regret being with me?"

Hales turned in a flash and with almost hurt eyes, she had cried out, "No! How could you ask that? You have given me love and meaning in my life. How could you say that? I just… I just know how determined you are to fight for me and I don't want it to damage Starkhaven, my love. You have me. I promised myself to you, heart and mind and soul. Always and forever."

I held her body against me, sliding my hands into her open robes to linger upon her skin. I smiled into her hair and whispered, "I love you."

She slipped the robes off her shoulders and smiled with teasing eyes, "As I love you but tonight, you have my body as well. Now strip."

I had laughed with enthusiasm feeling aroused by her eagerness to have me. I bowed, "As my lady commands," before hastily tearing at my clothes. She didn't even give me time to undo my breeches. Pushing me towards the walls, her lips fused with mine and her hands dragged down my form. With her legs, she climbed sensually up my body, wrapping them around my waist. My hands slid to her buttocks and squeezed the soft but well-muscled flesh. Carrying her, I threw us upon the bed and immediately, she rolled over on top.

Her eyes were so full of love, so full that my heart ached. Her fingers became slow as she pushed my arms above my head. She whispered, "Let me love you. Let me show you how much…"

Fingers traced down my body, a knee nudged my legs apart and then a pair of lips mouthed against my growing erection. She nuzzled and with her teeth, pulled the laces of my breeches free. Her hands reached to pull my breeches down and assisting her, I lifted my hips as the material slid down my legs. Her fingers played with the line of hair below my belly button and she told me, "I love this dusting of hair… it's like a trail, a map towards the perfect prize."

Though I was free, my member strained against itself, jerking of its own accord. Seeing my reaction, she smiled and licked her lips, prepared for a delectable feast. Her fingers drew patterns along my erection, her hands cupped me. Hot breath curled around my flesh and I felt the air hiss out from me. Then her tongue flicked over me, then her mouth covered me and I had no power left in my body to drag her up. Everything paused for a moment and then she suckled, her tongue swirling all over the tip.

I groaned. Growled as pleasured burst though me. Our eyes locked and something so intense lit them on fire. It burned me like a drug. Pleasure. Lust. Love. I couldn't imagine a woman more beautiful than she, more sensual than she, more addictive… Desire raced through me, fire shot up my spine. I could feel a wild storm brewing within me and it was deafening.

She drew me in deeper into her, her mouth was hot, tight and so incredible. She kept her mouth tight and sucked me unhurriedly, my flesh being dragged into her mouth one slow inch at a time. With a little pressure, I thrust into her moist cavern, my fingers deep in her hair. She drove me wild.

Such a carnal act to indulge in. So sinful. Yet with Hales there between my legs, I could not argue nor protest. I only wanted more. My breath came out harsh. It was ragged and I felt out of breath.

I was at the edge of sanity. I had begged her, "More…" and she had responded, sliding her hands beneath my body to push my hips up. Knowing what she wanted, I plunged in and out, taking forbidden pleasures from her. She pushed me past any control I had and I exploded into her mouth.

Even still, her lips never left me, working my weakened flesh in and out of her mouth until I stiffened. She hummed around me, her eyes sparkling with lust. My voice was thickened with brogue as I commanded, "I want more, you little minx."

"As my Prince commands…" her voice was dipped lower, sliding over my skin like silken wildfire. She crawled up to me, her body deliberately dragging against mine. I rolled upon her and entered her in one sure stroke.

She clung to me. Every movement of hips made it too much for me to even breathe, much less think. Everything was too much, too intense. All I could remember was her fevered kisses, wanting to hold her ever closer and needing to hear her feline, throaty moans for more. It was a wild flurry of movement and mindless sensation. It was savage, demanding, and brutal and she craved for my possession.

Hurry, was all I could think of, hurry, hurry, hurry and more, more, more. And when finally, I could take no more, it was as though a volcano had erupted within me and I spilled until I had nothing left to give.

I should have noticed how she loved me that night but I had been too lost in her. She had been too desperate, too frantic, too frenzied… it was unlike her but I thought I had tomorrow. I thought we would have time for me to make sure she was happy.

When I woke the next morning, the bed was cold and empty. Her closet doors were flung wide open and all her clothes were gone. Even my closet doors were open. With shaking hands, I found a found a folded letter upon her pillow, printed with her lip stain.

"Sebastian,

I could never ask for a better man, a better lover or even a better husband. If we had the chance, I know that you would have given me an incredible family. It would have been one of our own with laughing, troublesome children. I can hear the noises in my mind already.

I also want you to know that I love you very much and leaving was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Leaving you, even the thought as I watch you sleeping breaks my heart. However, I cannot allow you to be pulled apart between duty and love. Starkhaven has too many people. I cannot demand its falling apart only for me. No matter what, I am but one woman.

I hope that you'll remember what you promised me. You will find happiness even when I am gone. I also hope that you'll break your vow. Find another woman and be happy with her. I could never begrudge you that. So, I ask that you stop fighting for me.

I have gone for Orlais and I doubt that you will ever find me there. It is too large, too vast. So please, let me go. Don't even try to look for me. Be happy. Know this though – I love you and you will always have me, mind, soul and heart.

Yours Forevermore,

Hales"

I should have taken more care to notice her words when she said I could have her body… they were meant only for the night. In any case, she was a fool for believing that I would allow her to run from me. It would not matter whether she hid in Orlais or any other country. I lived for her, breathed for her and as sure as the sun would rise every morning, I would fight for her.

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><p>AN: This is the end of Blessed With a Woman. There's a sequel coming up. Let me know what you think and please R&R!

Love,  
>Ann<p> 


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